For those who have been in an interacial relationship.

[R.K. Meades]

Have I been in interracial relationships? Yes.

Have I been stared at, taunted, or challenged to fight because of that fact? Yes.

Does any of that compare to the family's disapproval? Not even close.

Don't get me wrong, I love my family, and will always appreciate where we came from. However, it hurts to be told by loved ones that your name will be mud in the community if you married or, heaven forbid, had kids with a woman who is not a part of the tribe. My mother doesn't care, but my dad is not thrilled at the prospect, and others are openly hostile to the notion of 'marrying out.'

I've had a handful of interracial relationships that were long-distance in nature. It obviously doesn't quite lend the same experiences as y'know...actually having to deal with real-life interactions that might be unpleasant that many interracial couples may have to face.

No romantic evenings watching Roots?

 

[happyninja42]

I would say it's all about the mix.
Noone bats an eye when a white guy dates an asian in my area but black guys dating white girls still get a few looks and white guys dating black girls would freak a few people out.

Yeah, it's similar here, though the Black Guy/White Girl scenario doesn't get any reaction here. White Guy/Black Girl though, yeah that get's a lot of reactions. As for other ethnic combinations....nah I can't really think of any significant examples. I live in an Army town, since we have a military base here, so it's pretty common to see white men with Korean women. My wife in fact is half-Korean, and her dad is retired Army, who met her mother over in Korea on deployment. That's pretty common around here, and nobody bats an eyelash. The biggest holdout for this though does seem to be the White Guy/Black Girl. I hardly ever see it, and most people react strongly when they see it.

Now, that being said, I used to work at this production plant, and there was a long standing couple of a white guy and a black girl, and everyone was perfectly cool with their relationship. Granted we all knew them, as we saw them 40+ hours a week, but I have no idea how people reacted outside of work to them.

 

[Sleepy Sol]

No romantic evenings watching Roots?

Noop. If I'm being honest I'm not sure if I could ever say I had any 'romantic evenings.'

Which is why I really hesitate to call those experiences relationships at times.

 

[happyninja42]

Have I been in interracial relationships? Yes.

Have I been stared at, taunted, or challenged to fight because of that fact? Yes.

Does any of that compare to the family's disapproval? Not even close.

Don't get me wrong, I love my family, and will always appreciate where we came from. However, it hurts to be told by loved ones that your name will be mud in the community if you married or, heaven forbid, had kids with a woman who is not a part of the tribe. My mother doesn't care, but my dad is not thrilled at the prospect, and others are openly hostile to the notion of 'marrying out.'

I've had a handful of interracial relationships that were long-distance in nature. It obviously doesn't quite lend the same experiences as y'know...actually having to deal with real-life interactions that might be unpleasant that many interracial couples may have to face.

No romantic evenings watching Roots?

Interesting you mention Roots. A coworker of mine recently found out that her daughter(they are black), is dating a white guy, and she lost her mind about it. She kept saying "she's not racist", but kept acting very upset about the simple fact that he's a white guy. She even said "I'm going to put Roots on the next time he comes over to see how he reacts" and I'm like "So why are you testing him?" "I'm not testing him!!" "uhuh...so if he was a black guy, would you bother putting on Roots to see how he reacts?" "...no." "Ok then, you're testing him, and it's pretty obvious why you are."

She seems more upset about the obvious discomfort she feels on the subject, like she's realizing "holy shit, maybe I am racist", and just hadn't thought about it. She's trying to be cool about it, we'll see how it goes.

 

[Quazimofo]

My parents got their fair share of funny looks and jokes and so on, but at this point (married for over 20 years) they've largely stopped. Perhaps it's got something to do with location (they met, and have lived, in the same place for some 27 years,) as Chicago, Illinois, USA is a fairly diverse place. Honestly I didn't even know it was an issue until that whole cheerios commercial thing because nearly everyone I've met until very recently has been either good at concealing their feelings or doesn't even care enough to bat an eye.

And yes I did mention my parents rather than myself because I've never dated. I doubt it's because of my mixed ethnicity though, because having hybridized black/irish hair, while a ***** to maintain, looks FABULOUS.

 

[R.K. Meades]

Interesting you mention Roots. A coworker of mine recently found out that her daughter(they are black), is dating a white guy, and she lost her mind about it. She kept saying "she's not racist", but kept acting very upset about the simple fact that he's a white guy. She even said "I'm going to put Roots on the next time he comes over to see how he reacts" and I'm like "So why are you testing him?" "I'm not testing him!!" "uhuh...so if he was a black guy, would you bother putting on Roots to see how he reacts?" "...no." "Ok then, you're testing him, and it's pretty obvious why you are."

That discomfort is precisely why I mentioned Roots. I spent 2-3 years living in a majority-black neighbourhood, and my friends there would always bring Roots up (as a joke) if they heard that one of their female friends or relatives was 'dating out.' People still lose their minds over that stuff.

She seems more upset about the obvious discomfort she feels on the subject, like she's realizing "holy shit, maybe I am racist", and just hadn't thought about it. She's trying to be cool about it, we'll see how it goes.

Don't worry. I understand that racism is "prejudice + (white) power" these days, so your coworker is 100% in the clear. On a more serious note, the fact she is asking those questions makes the issue that much easier to resolve.

 

[renegade7]

That said, there is something to be said. Part of the reason I love my fiancee is that she is indeed very family orientated and a lot of our views regarding gender roles match up; chivalry is still very much in demand, and at least she is willing to act with a bit of dignity, unlike most of my chavvy British options. And the chances of being less likely to divorce line up with my personal views as well. One of the biggest issues in modern China has been the encroachment of Western values in regards to marriage and dating, leading to a rise in abortions and pregnancies, a massive increase in divorces from both men and women, and a large abandonment of family in search of personal gains. But this is a discussion for another time.

Well I don't know about that. We met because we're both in the same PhD program and both of us are pretty much on board with the career first idea. Neither of us are interested in children. If it had to be a cultural thing I'd say it's because I'm an overachiever who likes the company of other overachievers, but then again we're engineering physics grad students at one of the top schools in the world so that could be literally anyone here regardless of ethnicity.

Not sure how dating an immigrant because they're less slutty is a PUA thing, seems more like a redpill kind of thing.

I think basically the narrative is that the "Western women" have been corrupted by feminism into such horrific and perverse things as being sexually selective and putting personal objectives like financial and career stability before romantic relationships. And for some reason women in Asia...haven't. That's the redpiller version, the PUA one (and IMO the more noxious of the two) is that Asian women somehow aren't used to refusing men, therefore they make better targets because as a result they're not able to say no. Ignoring the blatant racism that would have to go into assuming that to be true, it's just plain disturbing and really kind of rapey to say that one should focus on women who "can't say no" in order to get laid.

 

[Ihateregistering1]

Have been in a few of them (I'm a white guy).

-I dated an Indian Girl for a while. No one really seemed to care EXCEPT other Indian guys. Every Indian restaurant we went to they were rude as hell to us from pretty much the moment we walked in. We quit going after we had the same experience at two different places.

-I dated a Blasian girl for a while, and I never had any issues and don't remember anyone giving us any strange looks. On occasion they would look at her, but I think that's mostly because Blasian women are pretty rare.

-Dated a Hispanic girl for a long time, and the only issues we ever ran into was when we would hang out with her friends who spoke Spanish as a first language. They were usually pretty accommodating to my terrible Spanish skills, but on occasion you could see they were annoyed that they couldn't just speak to everyone in the room in Spanish. But none of them had a problem with Chica Mexicana dating this Gringo.

 

[Silentpony_v1legacy]

I dated an Indian girl for a few years. Darker than usual skin too. It was strange, because people kept thinking she was black and black men and women often harassed us(the women her, the men me).
Called her a hoe, a traitor, a house n****, etc... and mostly the men just called me whitie and said I shouldn't be dating "One of them."

Apart from that, no. Most people just saw us as a regular couple.

 

[happyninja42]

She seems more upset about the obvious discomfort she feels on the subject, like she's realizing "holy shit, maybe I am racist", and just hadn't thought about it. She's trying to be cool about it, we'll see how it goes.

Don't worry. I understand that racism is "prejudice + (white) power" these days, so your coworker is 100% in the clear. On a more serious note, the fact she is asking those questions makes the issue that much easier to resolve.

Yeah, that's what I said to her when she came to ask me about it. I asked her if her daughter was happy with him, she said yes. I asked her if he was a nice guy based on what she knew of him, she said yes. I asked her if she could find any fault in the guy, other than her discomfort at him being white. She said no. So I said basically "ok then, if your daughter's happiness is the most important thing, and he's making her happy, then why worry about it. Don't let your upbringing spill over onto her, when you really can't come up with any justified reason to dislike the guy." She agreed, and seems to be trying to keep her ingrained reaction in check. She did mention that her mother had issues with white guys, and she grew up with that prejudice, but just never really thought about it.

It will be interesting to see how it develops, as I'm sure she's going to keep me abreast of further developments. xD

 

[StreamerDarkly]

Yes, I have been. But it was an Asian-Caucasian relationship which is not uncommon in many parts of the world, so I didn't notice much in the way of extra rubbernecking. They key point is not to be made to think you're doing anything wrong. It sounds like you're not experiencing the more ugly forms of racism, so perhaps things are slowly coming around.

 

[L. Declis]

Snipped for your pleasure

Well I don't know about that. We met because we're both in the same PhD program and both of us are pretty much on board with the career first idea. Neither of us are interested in children. If it had to be a cultural thing I'd say it's because I'm an overachiever who likes the company of other overachievers, but then again we're engineering physics grad students at one of the top schools in the world so that could be literally anyone here regardless of ethnicity.

I also met my better half during university; although we differ in career, we're both total family people and want to work hard.

Not sure how dating an immigrant because they're less slutty is a PUA thing, seems more like a redpill kind of thing.

I think basically the narrative is that the "Western women" have been corrupted by feminism into such horrific and perverse things as being sexually selective and putting personal objectives like financial and career stability before romantic relationships. And for some reason women in Asia...haven't. That's the redpiller version, the PUA one (and IMO the more noxious of the two) is that Asian women somehow aren't used to refusing men, therefore they make better targets because as a result they're not able to say no. Ignoring the blatant racism that would have to go into assuming that to be true, it's just plain disturbing and really kind of rapey to say that one should focus on women who "can't say no" in order to get laid.

Depends on the kind of Asian women. The idea that Chinese women aren't used to saying 'no' made me laugh. Perhaps it's a Shanghai thing, but the women here have no trouble refusing anyone they don't think is up to scratch and they certainly aren't impressed by the mere fact you're white anymore.

I thought the redpiller idea was that Western women are so sexually active that they devalue themselves, they often get STD's, may have had an abortion or two, and will then demand a man who is out of their league in terms of behaviour and salary, before cheating on him and divorcing him for half his shit because courts hate pre-nups?

I don't know, it seems to change from person to person.

 

[username sucks]

I have gotten looks like that, but I always thought they were because it's a gay interracial relationship. Maybe race still has something to do with it, but I neither know not care what those people really think about us.