Fortunately/Unfortunately

[Neonbob]

Fortunately, it's not the one they get.

 

[VoltySquirrel]

Unfortunatly, while they do get superpowers, the powers themselves suck.

 

[Neonbob]

Fortunately, they still get powers. That's never bad.

 

[slevin8989]

Unfortunately the powers made them explode

 

[Neonbob]

Fortunately, exploding put them out of their misery.

New String:
Your favorite band is going to play at your next birthday.

 

[slevin8989]

Unfortunately they suck and everyone leaves

 

[Neonbob]

Fortunately, you hate everyone who showed up anyway.

 

[Crowghast]

Unfortunately, they form a [i\]We Hate You Gang[/i] and decide to beat you to death with bars of soap wrapped in towels next time you go to sleep. (They know where you live.)

 

[slevin8989]

Fortunately the band sticks around to help you fight them off

 

[Neonbob]

Unfortunately, you get smacked in the head with a guitar during the brawl and fall into a coma.

 

[Guitar Gamer]

fortunately, it's over when you wake up and now you have a sweet guitar and your not dead or hurt at all

 

[Neonbob]

Unfortunately, everyone you knew has been killed by a group of rampaging psychos.

 

[Guitar Gamer]

fortunately they found out you were cool and asked to be your friend?
edit: nevermind how bout they were killed by another group of rampaging psychos

 

[VoltySquirrel]

Unfortunatly, the fuzz find out you caused it all, so they arrest you for life in a maximum security prison with no chance of bail, parole, or getting out, period.

 

[Neonbob]

Fortunately, you love maximum security prisons. You feel safe in there.

 

[slevin8989]

Unfortunately the other prisoners love you

 

[Neonbob]

Fortunately, it's the brotherly kind of love.

 

[slevin8989]

Unfortunately these convicts practice incest

 

[Neonbob]

Fortunately, your ass is pre-emptively filled with razor blades.