Friends With Benefits
- Thread starter hyperhammy
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I've seen it work. Same as I've seen open relationships work.
I've also experienced both.
On the flip side, for every time I've seen its success, I've seen 2 situations where one or both end up emotionally damaged or feeling betrayed/shortchanged.
Just be careful; and more than anything; HONEST.
I've also experienced both.
On the flip side, for every time I've seen its success, I've seen 2 situations where one or both end up emotionally damaged or feeling betrayed/shortchanged.
Just be careful; and more than anything; HONEST.
I have a friend with benefits. They give me a ride to work everyday. Its pretty useful, and I save a lot of petrol. Cant see how this wouldnt work
Friends with benefits doesn't really work as you might expect as inevitably some combination of the following occurs:
1) The two parties like one another as friends. Adding known sexual compatability to the mix ensures that the status as "friend with benefits" will eventually have to be reevaluated. After all, what is a wife or girlfriend if not a friend with the implication that there will be the occasional physical expression of your feelings for one another?
2) The two parties do not like one another as friends. The relationship is built entirely upon sex which means there is no friendship present. One or both parties will inevitably seek a more comptable partner as the mechanical act of sex is hardly fulfilling in terms of a relationship.
1) The two parties like one another as friends. Adding known sexual compatability to the mix ensures that the status as "friend with benefits" will eventually have to be reevaluated. After all, what is a wife or girlfriend if not a friend with the implication that there will be the occasional physical expression of your feelings for one another?
2) The two parties do not like one another as friends. The relationship is built entirely upon sex which means there is no friendship present. One or both parties will inevitably seek a more comptable partner as the mechanical act of sex is hardly fulfilling in terms of a relationship.
Well, as a woman who dates women, I can tell you that a lot of women have it in their minds that the words, "I'm not interested in settling down right now" mean "I'm playing hard to get." Most of the time, if it walks like dating and talks like dating, they will eventually expect it to grow and get more serious. They might think you will change your mind about that "not dating" thing.
Women can separate sex and relationships. They can, as much as society would say otherwise. It's the 'friends' aspect that changes things, if only because they might find the friendship aspect to be exactly what they want in an ideal boyfriend.
Now, not all women are like this. Not by a long shot. But it is an observable trend. If it's someone you already know really well, it might actually work better, because they're more likely to understand "I don't want a relationship right now" actually means "I don't want a relationship now" and they might realise you totally work better as friends, but you just have to feel it out. Different people are going to react in their own ways.
Women can separate sex and relationships. They can, as much as society would say otherwise. It's the 'friends' aspect that changes things, if only because they might find the friendship aspect to be exactly what they want in an ideal boyfriend.
Now, not all women are like this. Not by a long shot. But it is an observable trend. If it's someone you already know really well, it might actually work better, because they're more likely to understand "I don't want a relationship right now" actually means "I don't want a relationship now" and they might realise you totally work better as friends, but you just have to feel it out. Different people are going to react in their own ways.
Well I find the whole concept appalling. However I suppose it could work if both parties involved are in agreement. Now if you'll excuse me, I feel disgusted just thinking about it.
Oh, well in my first year of college, I've never been to any parties, let alone invited to one. Also, I don't live on campus, so maybe that's why the concept is as foreign as an ancient Egyptian burial ceremony.Imp Poster said:
OK, I can understand how someone who doesn't like the concept might not be so accepting of people who do, but how does that translate over to people who don't understand? I, for example, don't understand the concept at all. I have no idea how it works, no idea how one goes about pursuing a FWB, no idea how can you tell if a friend of yours is the kind of person willing to partake in such an activity, no idea how one would go about asking their friend about it, or even how to bring it up. Despite all that, I don't see myself becoming less accepting of those who do understand.BonsaiK said:
I think that sex always nearly changes a relationship. I'm not saying that you two will end up developing an emotional bond (though it's likely). I just think that it's an act outside a normal "friend" relationship and thus doesn't qualify as a "friendship" and really qualifies for a "f*ck buddy" title instead of "friend with benefits" title.
And yes, I'm aware of the similarities of those two titles, and the differences.
And yes, I'm aware of the similarities of those two titles, and the differences.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm I'm not sold on the whole friends with benefits arrangement. emotions tend to be very strongly linked to sex - and this is especially so for women. At the risk of sounding gay, I'm not really sure if I like the idea myself - that being said if any of my hot female friends were to offer, I'd have her horizontal before she could blink.
I think the best way to do it is to be a rational as possible. The more you get "emotional" the shorter it lasts. If you really wanna be heartless about it, think of it as a business transaction.
As long as neither people believe that sex is the same as or leads to love.
As long as that's all you both want I'm sure it would work just fine, just don't get jealous if the other person actually gets a date with someone else.
As long as that's all you both want I'm sure it would work just fine, just don't get jealous if the other person actually gets a date with someone else.
This.Tipsy Giant said:
Sooner or later somebody (guy or girl) will begin to confuse love with sex.
Not saying it isn't possible, just unlikely