From one night stand into a relationship?

[trollnystan]

Wait let me get this straight; starting a long-term relationship with someone you had a one-night stand with is stupid because they are the type of person who has one-night stands... Doesn't that mean that you're a bad bet too because you are also the type to have one-night stands?

That kind of logic never made sense to me. Maybe you can explain it to me? *honestly confused*

Indeed. And that would be a good point except for the fact that I am not trying to start a relationship with myself.
I am not going to cheat on myself or have unprotected sex with someone I just met and then go home and give myself a STD.
In short, I can trust myself but I could not trust someone else like that.[footnote]Speaking in the terms that I was someone who would have a one night stand.[/footnote]

Nice dodge there. I'll be more specific. Why should anyone - other than you - want to have a steady relationship with you when you're - judging from your first post - the type to have one-night stands? Would you totally understand if the gal/guy you liked and wanted to go out with said, "Sorry, heard you've had one-night stands. Not interested."

If the answer to that last bit is "yes", then awesome. If not, then aren't you being a bit hypocritical?

 

[InfiniteSingularity]

You don't know what's going to happen and you don't know her intentions. You can't know at this stage. So stop trying to figure out what's going to happen - go for it and see what does happen. Honestly it's the only realistic thing you can do. If it works, yay, if not, then less yay. But it's the only way you'll know

 

[sanomaton]

You don't know what's going to happen and you don't know her intentions. You can't know at this stage. So stop trying to figure out what's going to happen - go for it and see what does happen. Honestly it's the only realistic thing you can do. If it works, yay, if not, then less yay. But it's the only way you'll know

This is very true and I'm sort of glad you pointed it out. The point of this topic though was that I wanted it to be more universal, as in what do people think of a situation like this and how it has worked out for them.

 

[darkonnis]

The only sensible thing to do here is get on with it. Just play it by ear and see how it goes and where you end up. It may go horribly wrong, it may last a few weeks, it may take up the better part of your life.
The whole one night stand thing is irrelevant. If anything you've removed alot of the pressure that usually makes dating worse and slightly awkward.
So as i say, just run with it. Accept the fact she may not want the same as you, but at the same time, dont give up hope. Hope it works out.

 

[BringBackBuck]

I think it's is a cultural thing.

In my homecountry it is more or less considered weird to start dating someone you haven't had (drunken monkey) sex with. That's is how relationship usually starts.

I never had a serious relationship, just a few months here and there. But life is to short to pass up.

My advise is "Do what ever makes you happy and feel right". If you enjoy eachothers company, even for the briefest moment, then go for it. Who care what happends tomorrow or what the big plan is. You have anything better to do (no pun intended)

Same here (in Australia/New Zealand). The concept of dating and dating rules is pretty foreign to me. I thought that's just what people in American movies do. Every girl I have ended up in a relationship with started off with a drunken fuck. Good times.

OP: No reason why you shouldn't be able to make this work if you want to. My last one night stand turned into a successful marriage going on 10 years now with 2 kids.

 

[lettucethesallad]

Sure it happens, and it doesn't mean that your relationship is doomed. Just because you had sex in the first 24 hours you met doesn't mean that your relationship will forever be governed by it - you just found this person attractive. It's natural. It's a plus. People seem to think that sex is something magical and strange - it's not, it's carnal. It's fun, but not some weird mystical rite where timing is crucial.

Sounds like you and this girl have a serious connection. Keep hanging out, keep having fun, and if you're wondering what her stance is on it - ask her. It's better to know from the start if she's interested in you in a serious way, that way the likeliness of you ending up hurt later on will be smaller.

I see no reason at all why this can't be a happy relationship if you're both on the same page. I wish you luck!

 

[Tips_of_Fingers]

One-Night-Snip

My sister met a guy in a club years ago. Although I don't actually wish to think about the details, they definitely had sex. A week later they went on a date after the guy contacted my sister, but my sister could not remember the guy's name.

5 years on, they're happily married and he's practically been adopted into our family.

Another example: I have been with my girlfriend for over 2 years. We met in the last week of our 1st year of university because we were both a little horny and wanted some sex without any ties. We saw each other every night until we all went home for the summer but I wasn't satisfied with just sex. I told her as much and now, over two years on, I'm just over a week away from moving in with her.

So to answer your question...yes, it can work out all good in the end. But obviously it all depends on the people involved and the way in which you approach the situation. Don't come across too eager or you might scare them away...but likewise, don't play it too nonchalant or they'll assume you're not interested.

Wow, I love it when I go into Dear Deidre mode.

 

[sanomaton]

One-Night-Snip

My sister met a guy in a club years ago. Although I don't actually wish to think about the details, they definitely had sex. A week later they went on a date after the guy contacted my sister, but my sister could not remember the guy's name.

5 years on, they're happily married and he's practically been adopted into our family.

Another example: I have been with my girlfriend for over 2 years. We met in the last week of our 1st year of university because we were both a little horny and wanted some sex without any ties. We saw each other every night until we all went home for the summer but I wasn't satisfied with just sex. I told her as much and now, over two years on, I'm just over a week away from moving in with her.

So to answer your question...yes, it can work out all good in the end. But obviously it all depends on the people involved and the way in which you approach the situation. Don't come across too eager or you might scare them away...but likewise, don't play it too nonchalant or they'll assume you're not interested.

Wow, I love it when I go into Dear Deidre mode.

Congratulations with the moving in! Sounds pretty fly to me. And I know how your sister must've felt because I couldn't remember this person's name either when they called me... Slightly awkward! However I'm terrible with names so it was "justified".

And I'm glad to see this type of thing isn't completely unheard of, as I thought at first!

 

[SHIFTYMACO]

A friend of mine hooked up with a girl a few years back and they became friends with benefits so to speak, Now they are getting married in April next year! You never know where anything might lead!

 

[Sparcrypt]

Depends on both of you really.

Personally when I'm single if you're attractive and seem happy to sleep with me I'll happily oblige. Sex is fun and if other people have hangups about it that's their problem.

Because I have this attitude I don't consider girls who have the same one to be sluts, or not worth dating or whatever. As long as you're both interested in a relationship, why not?

And if you're wondering what they're after.. ask them. If they say no, eh, well it was a one night stand, oh well!

 

[Insideout Ink Demon]

As the title suggests I am wondering if this has happened to people and how likely is it to happen?

A weekend back I met someone at a club and it seemed like it was going to be a one night stand. Sure, nothing wrong with that. However, after the whoop-de-doo, we got talking and found out we had a lot in common and actually enjoyed each other's company quite a bit.

Now it's been over a week since we met the first time and we've been keeping in touch quite a bit. Phone calls, text messages and we have even agreed to meet again soon. It puzzles me, however, because I don't know whether this other person is only looking for a sex buddy or someone more serious. (As you don't usually keep any kind of contact with your one night stands.)

Anywhos, the question from me to you is, has something like this ever happened to you or to someone you know? And how did it work out for you if it has?

And just so you know, no, I don't have sex with anyone who comes across and I don't want to be thought of as a slut of some kind... This is just life.


EDIT: It seems like I didn't make my point as clear as I meant to. I like this other person a lot and I would enjoy it very much if this turned into a long-term relationship. The situation being what it is though, I have never entered into a relationship with someone I've had a one night stand with. Hence my question of what do you think of it.

don't see why it'd be a bad thing to start a relationship this way. probably make things less awkward as you know what eachother look like naked.

ask him n see what he thinks of such things

 

[sanomaton]

don't see why it'd be a bad thing to start a relationship this way. probably make things less awkward as you know what eachother look like naked.

ask him n see what he thinks of such things

That's very true! (And as an update, I am apparently meeting him and his friends tomorrow so things are looking pretty good so far. We'll see what happens.)

 

[CannibalCorpses]

All my relationships have started with a one night stand...try before you buy. If it's any good for both of you, why wouldn't you want want more practice? Seems like the best way to start a relationship in my opinion. Get all the nervous bits over with before you try for more.

 

[TitanDrone]

...we got talking and found out we had a lot in common and actually enjoyed each other's company quite a bit.

There you go.

Initial attraction followed by physical and neurochemical compatibility.