Fuck beef jerky

[Jonluw]

The best thing to do, if your culture does not sell it, is to make your own. Jerky is only dried and salted meat. This is not a USA only affair. Ancient tribes from the beginning of time ate it as it was a great way to ration the kill without the meat going bad quickly. Buy some meat, slice it thinly, coat it with salt (how much salt effects taste) and dry it out. If the jerky is too salty, wash it off before eating.

I don't see any reason to do that. There are plenty of other kinds of dried meat I can get a hold of in my country.
Fenalår (as mentioned above) being the most awesome kind.

There's also a tradition for dried and salted fish.

 

[TheLastSamurai14]

Now you want something delicious?

Fried.
Octopus.
Tentacles.

Yes. Yes yes yes. ALL OF MY YES.

Escapist, lend me your ears: This dish is GODLY.

Captcha: change yourself

I think I might just have to, Captcha.

 

[Dags90]

I don't see any reason to do that. There are plenty of other kinds of dried meat I can get a hold of in my country.
Fenalår (as mentioned above) being the most awesome kind.

There's also a tradition for dried and salted fish.

Yeah, but salted fish is gross. Seriously, lutefisk? It looks light someone already ate it.

I'm not a particular fan of beef jerky. It's OK as a snack in small amounts with something to drink, but eating lots of it makes me feel like I'm eating dried rations.

Also, prosciutto > whatever that gross lamb thing is.

 

[Sovereignty]

I don't get the hate for salted candy though.
Everyone I've met outside of Scandinavia hates salty candy.
What? Are you saying you don't like crisps either?

And licorice. Sweet licorice is bullshit. It needs to be salted to be interesting in the least.

Lawl, OP is clearly on a rant, hates Beef Jerky for no real reason, uses excessive swearing to emphasize unfounded hate, and magically can't grasp someone else thinking salty candy is a BAD idea?

Good job OP, good job.

 

[Jonluw]

I don't see any reason to do that. There are plenty of other kinds of dried meat I can get a hold of in my country.
Fenalår (as mentioned above) being the most awesome kind.

There's also a tradition for dried and salted fish.

Yeah, but salted fish is gross. Seriously, lutefisk? It looks light someone already ate it.

I'm not talking about lutefisk though.
Lutefisk is dried fish that's been soaked in NaOH and then cooked. Dried fish is just dried and salted.

Also, prosciutto > whatever that gross lamb thing is.

Parma? Hah! Don't make me laugh. You know pig's meat will never live up to the quality of lamb's meat.

 

[Jonluw]

Lawl, OP is clearly on a rant, hates Beef Jerky for no real reason, uses excessive swearing to emphasize unfounded hate, and magically can't grasp someone else thinking salty candy is a BAD idea?

Good job OP, good job.

Uh, yes I am ranting? What did you think I was doing? And you get that the overblown hate and animosity is all tongue in cheek, right?
When people are using words like 'poo' to describe something, they're normally joking around.

The aversion to salty candy is not something I understand though. Potato chips are arguably a kind of candy, and they're salty. You don't see people hating that.
The best response I got to that was "Potato chips are snacks, not candy", to which I say "Well view the salty candy as snacks instead of candy then. They're basically the same thing."

 

[Sovereignty]

Uh, yes I am ranting? What did you think I was doing? And you get that the overblown hate and animosity is all tongue in cheek, right?
When people are using words like 'poo' to describe something, they're normally joking around.

The aversion to salty candy is not something I understand though. Potato chips are arguably a kind of candy, and they're salty. You don't see people hating that.
The best response I got to that was "Potato chips are snacks, not candy", to which I say "Well view the salty candy as snacks instead of candy then. They're basically the same thing."

So what you're saying is it's okay for YOU to 'hate' something, but when someone else dislikes something it makes no sense at all?

I got nothing from your poorly written explanation of why you hated beef jerky other than it was dried and, 'tasted like shit'


You think beef jerky sucks, because it doesn't fit your tastes.
Other poster thought salty candy sucked.


You should be more understanding if you're going to wave your hate around so openly.

And for the record; "Chips" aren't produced in the same fashion as "Candy" so while you could easily say both are snacks they both appeal to a different set of taste buds. (Sweet and Salty)

Your argument for just calling them snacks doesn't work because you refer to them as Candy. You wouldn't call a stick of celery and a pint of vanilla both ice cream would you?

 

[Jonluw]

Uh, yes I am ranting? What did you think I was doing? And you get that the overblown hate and animosity is all tongue in cheek, right?
When people are using words like 'poo' to describe something, they're normally joking around.

The aversion to salty candy is not something I understand though. Potato chips are arguably a kind of candy, and they're salty. You don't see people hating that.
The best response I got to that was "Potato chips are snacks, not candy", to which I say "Well view the salty candy as snacks instead of candy then. They're basically the same thing."

So what you're saying is it's okay for YOU to 'hate' something, but when someone else dislikes something it makes no sense at all?

I got nothing from your poorly written explanation of why you hated beef jerky other than it was dried and, 'tasted like shit'

I'm going to quote myself. See if you get it this time.

And you get that the overblown hate and animosity is all tongue in cheek, right?

You think beef jerky sucks, because it doesn't fit your tastes.
Other poster thought salty candy sucked.


You should be more understanding if you're going to wave your hate around so openly.

My tongue is practically located inside the flesh of my cheek trying to convey what's actually going on in this thread.

And for the record; "Chips" aren't produced in the same fashion as "Candy" so while you could easily say both are snacks they both appeal to a different set of taste buds. (Sweet and Salty)

No, salty candy appeals to salty tastebuds.
Not that hard to figure out.

And your little lecture on semantics is missing my point entirely. My point was that the guy clearly enjoys the taste of salt, so it's strange that salty "candy" (because candy only applies to sweet tastebuds?) doesn't fit his tastes.

 

[Codeknight]

There are some terrible jerkies out there, but there also some really good ones. Like jerky made by people instead of cheaply mass produced crap that only makes a profit because of how little time and money they spend on making the overpriced flavorless stuff.

What really gets me though is your attitude. From what I've read your view can be summed up with "I tried one flavor of one brand out of hundreds if not thousands and didn't like it. So fuck everyone who says they like it because the are dumb and have no taste." This may not be your intention but that's basically what I see when I read most of your messages.

Don't know why you are reacting so strongly. I imagine you're probably used to hype not living up to your expectations being on a gaming forum and therefore most likely being a gamer and constantly having publisher's/developer's promise and advertise stuff that is either cut completely or dumbed way down to meet deadlines.

 

[Jonluw]

What really gets me though is your attitude. From what I've read your view can be summed up with "I tried one flavor of one brand out of hundreds if not thousands and didn't like it. So fuck everyone who says they like it because the are dumb and have no taste." This may not be your intention but that's basically what I see when I read most of your messages.

Spoiler: I'm just joking, dude.

Basically, people who actually think that others are stupid for liking something they don't like rarely word themselves in such an overt manner.
Something along the lines of "What you like is poo and what I like is awesome and you are all morons for having different tastes from me." should only be taken as a serious statement when coming from children and/or mentally challenged people.

I don't like beef jerky, and I'm disappointed because it was hyped like the second coming, so after tasting it I decided to make a hyperbolic rant.
That's all there is to it.
I don't give a toss if other people like beef jerky. Hell, other people like raisins for gods' sakes.

 

[Codeknight]

OK, read your previous post (I was actually going to edit my original post when I saw the message indicating you quoted me) and I guess I get that it's for you it's meant as a joke. but I don't think it's coming off that way. Perhaps it's because you are constantly shooting down other people's opinion in a manner that isn't completely over the top. It's hard to infer sarcasm with text unless you go above and beyond. Believe it or not, wording like yours is very commonly used by people who are serious on the internet.

 

[Vivi22]

You probably didn't get a good kind of jerky. I always get the Jack Links kind. Almost every other beef jerky I tried didn't taste so well though.

Read the rest of the thread. Jack link's is what I got.

Xeraxis' opinion aside, I'd say the fact that it was Jack Link's was the problem. I eat it occasionally for a snack here and there if I'm traveling or something, but it's really not that great. Too dry and the flavour isn't great. In fact, the only Jack Links I really didn't mind was the peppered variety, and only because it's so damn peppery you can't taste the meat.

The stuff in my earlier post is far and away better. It's not really even that dry despite that being a required part of the process to make jerky, and the spices used are absolutely delicious. I'm not joking when I say that you will not find Jerky in a store that tastes better. No idea if you can order it from your country though.

 

[Jonluw]

OK, read your previous post (I was actually going to edit my original post when I saw the message indicating you quoted me) and I guess I get that it's for you it's meant as a joke. but I don't think it's coming off that way. Perhaps it's because you are constantly shooting down other people's opinion in a manner that isn't completely over the top. It's hard to infer sarcasm with text unless you go above and beyond. Believe it or not, wording like yours is very commonly used by people who are serious on the internet.

On the rest of the internet, perhaps this kind of wording is common.
But it really isn't that common to see someone say [x] is poo on these forums without them joking.

The rest of the posters seem to get it. Many of them are replying with appropriately semi-agressive jokes.

Any nation which would do such a thing to haribo, loses its right to comment on food.

All joking aside, I have a few favourites blahblahblah

Fuck you, Beef Jerky is second only to Biltong in meaty goodness.

... Because you have nothing better to do?
Or are you making a Thread about how "Beef jerky is poo poo" between piano lessons and Science class?
But in all seriousness blahblahblah

You hate beef jerky...freak, F-R-E-A-K! I can never get enough of it

I don't know if people from the states are familiar with this kind of joking since it might be a uniquely European thing, but it's very common to do this kind of play fighting between countries and cultures. For example, half of all jokes made in Norway are about how stupid Swedes are. Or take Dags's post for example

Fenalår (as mentioned above) being the most awesome kind.

There's also a tradition for dried and salted fish.

Yeah, but salted fish is gross. Seriously, lutefisk? It looks light someone already ate it.

Also, prosciutto > whatever that gross lamb thing is.

To which I replied that pig's meat sucks and lamb's meat is where it's at.

It might just be it's hard to pick up on for Americans. (Or for people who are too used to seeing the unmoderated comments of 12-year olds on message boards.)

 

[OldNewNewOld]

Once you taste non-american food, american food taste like shit most of the times.
Sorry, but that's just how it is.

 

[Codeknight]

snip

believe me, we Americans are no strangers to snark, sarcasm, or even borderline racist jokes, not sure how you got your info on the US of A but it seems off a tad. We may be fat, rude, and self important in general, but we all like a good laugh.

The difference between the first 2 and your posts is there is a joke in which they poke fun and a serious side in which they voice their opinions and offer suggestions, and the last one uses hyphenated spelling and an exclamation mark for comedic effect. Comparing something you dislike to shit is faaaaaaaar from unheard of on the internet, especially in heated threads. If someone I didn't know where to say to me with a straight face that my opinion was shit and theirs was the best I'd ask them what the fuck their problem was.

I mean no offence, I was just commenting because it seemed like you where genuine in your trash talking because it's the internet, which is full of vocal jerks out to belittle others, and in text, which can be difficult to tell when someone is joking unless you know the person.

 

[Soxafloppin]

I was a bit let down when Gatorade made its way to the U.K, Powerade is just better.

 

[Jonluw]

The difference between the first 2 and your posts is there is a joke in which they poke fun and a serious side in which they voice their opinions and offer suggestions,

I didn't quote those other users to compare their posts to mine. I quoted them to make the point that they clearly understood what I was going for in the OP.

Comparing something you dislike to shit is faaaaaaaar from unheard of on the internet, especially in heated threads.

Saying "that game is shit" is hardly unheard of, no. That's a sentence that can be taken seriously.
Now, if someone says "that game is poo", won't you assume that the person is wearing his self-awareness hat when making that statement?
Using the word 'poo' to describe something is a practice I've never come across outside of comedy and children's speak.

And stating what's clearly your opinion as objective fact is pretty unheard of on these forums. People must clearly have caught on to the fact that the agressiveness of the OP was tongue in cheek, or there would've been more than two replies saying "way to state your opinion as fact there"

 

[Quiet Stranger]

May I ask what brand the root beer was?


Also I tried Beef Jerky once a very VERY long time ago, I think I enjoyed it because I ate the whole package (small package) although my dad made fun of me for it saying I was eating cow lips.

 

[Jonluw]

May I ask what brand the root beer was?


Also I tried Beef Jerky once a very VERY long time ago, I think I enjoyed it because I ate the whole package (small package) although my dad made fun of me for it saying I was eating cow lips.

It was A&W.
I'm blaming the brand for that one, not the type of drink itself, but I still don't think rootbeer is something I'll like.
I'm more of a ginger beer kind of person.

Edit: But I really need to get to bed now.