Funniest Joke Of All Time

[Davey Woo]

That joke from monty python!

Yes, we cannot repeat it for you would die laughing. It's a very dangerous weapon, that helped us greatly in WW2.

Several writers were tasked with translating it, one word each. One man saw two words of the joke, and was in hospital for several weeks.

 

[mikecoulter]

A fairy godmother offered me a long memory or a long dick

I've forgotten what I chose

(it was on Michael Mcintires comedy roadshow last night)

I watched that! God that guy was awesome, what was his name again?.......

 

[Kellerb]

Shortest joke of the world:
Be (epsilon) < 0

Unfortunately only mathematicians understand it.

Edit: The escapist doesn't like my epsilon sign.

Ooooooh.... Geek jokes

Where do you put an insane tree?
In an a-xylem!

We were learning about a model of the atom yesterday. What a Bohr!

What is a physists favourite meal?
Fission Chips!

I'm gonna think up some more now...

I shall help you sir.

Two atoms are in a bar. one says to the other *i think i lost an electron* the other says *are you sure?* to which the first one replies *im positive*.

Photons have mass? didn't even know they were catholic...

I fall out at three. kudos for the reference ^^

 

[TopHatTim]

What is the funniest joke you have ever heard?

windows vista.

 

[Hitman 43]

The energizer bunny went to prison....he was charged with battery

Not funny.

 

[TopHatTim]

My friend tells me he read this in a book by Stephen King:

Why did the dead baby cross the road?

Because it was stapled to the chicken!

My favorite one has already been told in this topic, though (the 2 muffins in an oven)

whats the difference between a cadallac and a pile of dead babies?
i dont have a catallac in my garage.

whats the difference between a trampoleen and a baby?
i take my boots off to jump on a trampoleen.


best stop here before i get the crack of the ban hammer

 

[Darkeagle6]

Ah well, just remembered another tasteless one, this time a dead baby jokes which can be interpreted as having racist undertones (maybe...)

What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby?




Ten minutes in an oven!

 

[secretsantaone]

A paedophile and a 10 year old are walking through a forest at night.

The 10 year old says 'It's really scary here, I'm frightened.'

'You think you have it bad? I have to walk back alone!'

 

[MiracleOfSound]

This is sick, you've been warned so don't flame me if you decide to read it.

Spoiler

How do you make a little girl cry twice?

Wipe your dick on her teddy bear

 

[irishstormtrooper]

Here's one:
What's big, shiny, and hurts when you get it in your eye?

And another:
What's green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it hit you when falling out of a tree?

 

[Ridonculous_Ninja]

The energizer bunny went to prison....he was charged with battery

But when they tried to arrest him,
He ran away
And he kept going
and going
and going
and going...