Funniest Thing You've Heard In An Online Game?

[Ares Tyr]

I produce funny conversations like this constantly on Live. One of my favoirtes however, was a GTA IV conversation that went from a discussion of how awesome the original Jurassic Park was (and how DNA the cartoon character made it the best movie ever) which later stemmed unto me and my friend creating the Church of Vin Diesel. Because everything he's ever done on screen actually happened. You had to hve been there I guess. But I leave you with this... "The Dinosaur DNA... gets stuck... in the sap!"

Also I once made a grown man (or atleast later teen) scream in an offended and serious tone "YOU DID NOT POOP ON ME! YOU DIDN'T! YOU'RE GAY!!!"

 

[Daemon888]

I was playing COD4 HQ and me and this british kid were the only ones on our team worth crap. At the end of the game he quite calmly informed the team that they were a bunch of "Helmet wearing window lickers". I found that just hugely amusing.

 

[PlaylistOne]

The Funniest would have to be when I was playing a mod for the original Half Life called "The Specialists", I was in a RP server (AKRP if you've heard of it, some guy comes in and starts blasting rave music. We all started jumping around like monkeys on crack. That was a good day.

Another time on R6V, me and my old clan leader got into a conversation about how awesome mountain dew is...
Good times.

 

[Mr. Purple]

Well there was the one where my friends spent the whole match complaining that they had been team-killed by "Quiznosamich". Lmao.

 

[Erana]

"ALL HAIL THE MAN-THONG!"
Its worse because it was the GM, in a thong, summoning dragons and killing everyone.

"What's that mysterious ticking noise?
Look up. Its the clock tower."

*surrounds the other player*
"I'm gonna call you Bill!"
"But my name's not Bill."
"OK, Bill."
"But I'm a Girl!"
"We can think of a better name, then. Billiam?"
-Logs out-

My personal favorite is when I shout, "LTB Elder Scrolls! LTB Eye of Argonia!" and get ten different people asking me how much I'm willing to pay.

 

[asmodaus]

Alright, this one happened to me today.
I was playing COd4 matchmaking in the pregame lobby when someone yells "I love gay pornos!!!" alright,he got a giggle out of me, but then when he starts asking who wants blowjobs, I lose it.surprising that he didnt repeatedly get called ****** YOU (insert angry monolouge here)which made it all the funnier.

 

[Janus Vesta]

Some guy was pissing off me and my clan in CoD4 by spouting racist nazi bullshit. We all pretended to be gay and said we loved him. Near the end everyone went quiet and the clan leader said 'Will you come on my face?'

It was great. Some guys even added him to their friends lists. (Xbox live)

 

[Bulletinmybrain]

Some guy was pissing off me and my clan in CoD4 by spouting racist nazi bullshit. We all pretended to be gay and said we loved him. Near the end everyone went quiet and the clan leader said 'Will you cum on my face?'

It was great. Some guys even added him to their friends lists. (Xbox live)

Sorry had to point it out

 

[Sketchy]

Whenever me and a friend get bored we play Counter-strike:source under the names gang$t4 and CaP-a-CoP with our fake clan called =SuPaH1337KIllaZ= and talk 1337 to everyone but we get really low scores on purpose... never fails to be hilarious.
Telling people F10 is for Uber hax in any source game is always funny

 

[silove21]

I was in TF2. One of my teammates came up to me and said "mustard is for sandwiches not for ice cream" Then just logged off.

 

[Danzz]

This thread makes me sad to be an American. Many Americans are not jerks. We're just given that reputation by some arbitrary designation. I'm nice. I'm American.

If it makes ya feel any better Jerks exist everywhere not just in one country, however unfortunitly due to your country's size there tends to be more.
Good example, was in COD4 where a particular clan would change rules every few seconds and insult players who were beating them so they could throw them out the server and slowly drag themselves to the top of the teams, they were British. Then theres the American who asked me if we celebrate Christmas in Scotland.
It works both ways

 

[buggy65]

Shadowrun demo... good times

1. Some guy on our team only spoke using a Duke Nukem sound board "It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I'm all outta bubblegum"
2. Everyone in out team went on the helipad with shot guns, stood in a circle, turned to our left, waited until the enemy saw us... then each man blew his teamates head off at the same time. The enemy was all... WTF?
3. Everyone bought Tree of Life, put them all together and made a super tree, we then kneeled by it and worshiped it... even the enemy.
4. One time in COD4, my friend somehow glitched... he couldn't die! He just stood there looking at the enemy as they shot him in the head at point blank range... in the party screen he apologized, said he wasn't a hacker, and he had no clue what happend.

 

[1-800-STFU]

Funniest thing I have done, when I used to play WoW. Dueling someone in Thunder Bluff while in queue for a battlegrounds. Mind controlling him, then making him jump off of Thunder Bluff all the way down.

 

[The Iron Ninja]

Ages ago I was playing live for the first time on Halo 2, in Blood Gulch (or Coagulation, whichever it is called in halo 2) and I went to get into a wartog with two team mates. I didn't have a microphone but their conversation was very odd, its been a while but I'll try and recount it as best I can
Guy 1: Hurry up lets go
Guy 2: What if there's a sniper?
Guy 1: What?
Guy 2: What if there's a sniper out there?
Guy 1: Of course there's a sniper out there, its halo.
Guy 2: I don't wanna (he did say "wanna", I remember that part clearly) get killed by a sniper
Guy 1: What?
Guy 2: They're super cheap ass (something something) snipers and I hate them
Guy 1: So what we can't just stay here
Guy 2: (yelling now) No, I've already been killed by fucking snipers five times today already, If I stay here, instead of being cheap ass (something something) snipers they'll have to come and get me here like proper players.
Guy 1: Fuck It, hey new guy?
Me (new guy): (I can't say anything)
Guy 1: New guy?
-I make an effort to look at him to show I am listening
Guy 1: We're getting in a different warthog.

We got out and went off to get killed in a different warthog (Probably in part thanks to a sniper), Guy 2 stayed in his spot for a good few minutes until some other guy (I assume from the other team) blew him up. It was very odd seeing someone (who had a fairly deep voice) having a sulk while in the game, surely if he didn't want to get sniped he should have just quit. (In retrospect I really wish there were more people like Guy 1 on live)

 

[TaborMallory]

On halo 1 pc (yeah.), I joined some random CTF match. I do believe there was no shields, which made it three times as easy for pistol kills in my case. We were on blood gulch, that godaweful map. One of the reasons of which was because all the spawns are very close, and easily accessible by a squeaker with BOTH rocket launchers. By the time I joined, this kid had close to 200 kills. Why everyone didn't leave, I don't and will never know. I spawn, and kill him with a pistol. As usual with many rocket whores, he starts screaming about how I hack/aimbot/etc. and proceeds to "totally own my mom and me at the same time"(??). He can't find me, so he immediately goes back to spawn killing with his beloved rocket launchers. Meanwhile, I'm capturing their flag like nothing, because I'm totally ninja like that. At the end of the round, Red team had ZERO flag captures, 10 year old had upwards of around 300 kills, and my team had the necessary three flag captures to win the game.

Since I dont feel like typing correctally or anything anymore, i'll just quote what words were then said during the post game carnage report.
[10 year old]: YEA I OWND U NOOBS
[me]: Yeah, if you can count spawn camping with ROCKET LAUNCHERS ownage
[10 year old]: at least im not a flag noob
[me]: rofl this is CTF its the object of the round
[10 year old]: FLAG NOOB AND IF U DINT AIMBOT I WUD HAV OWND U TOO
[me]: hey, I got news for you. You DIDN'T own me and you LOST the match.
[10 year old]: fag
(10 year old leaves the server)

 

[TaborMallory]

Also another funny occurrence during halo 1:

(some guy enters our base, tries to take our flag)

(im feeling nooby today; im shotty camping and make quick work of this beastly intruder, and procede to have my ways with his body)

[intruder]: YOU MUST NO TEEBAGING
[me]: YOU MUST BETTER ENGLISH SPEAKING

(i was very quickly banned from the server; apparently he was a host)

 

[Lichenthrope]

Hippy:'Duuuuuuuuuude how doo I shoooot.'
Me: Explanation. ( I was the only guy with a headset.)
Hippy:'Ooooh the pretty colours.'

 

[ninja chicken]

the only thing i lold about in an mmorpg is:

BRB gonna get a haircut. that was posted in a very intensive raid. the guy got kicked because of this shit he sed.

Also, it was funy when some noob in WoW sed he was a hacker and could kill us all in 1 hit, i saw he was very poor geared I sed that the best hack is alt+F4, it gives away T6. guess what? the guy believed it and after 50 minutes he sed that he tried bout 10 times and that i lied to him! what a surprise!

 

[Rex_Maztar]

(FYI, im canadian, and i know not all americans are stoopid, but its fun to make fun of them anyway)
hee hee, i was playing halo 3 live, and tagging along with a group of crazy wannabe gangsters......oooooohhhhh man were they retarted.

Supaclean (his gamertag): (after killing his first guy, he had died like 10 times by now) "I'm rare like mista clean with hair!"
Da 10 Dorra man (me): heheh, he would look like Elvis Presley with Cerebral Palsey
supaclean: "Cerebrawhat?"
Da 10 dorra man: "Nothing, my brain damaged friend, go eat your applesauce"
Supaclean: "How'd you know i was eatin' applesauce?"
i just went silent after that, striken by hilarity induced shock

another time we were getting our asses kicked by this group of guys

Da 10 Dorra Man: "oh man, i'm sucking royal nipples right now!" *dies again*
One of them crazy gangsters: "wow man, you're sucking titties and playing halo 3 at the same time?"
Da 10 Dorra Man: "heheh, yeah man, i've got Carmen Electra to the right and Tila Tequila to the left"
One of them crazy gangsters:"SWEEEEET!'
Da 10 Dorra Man: (quietly)"god damn it..."