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Russian_Assassin

Russian_Assassin

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Apr 24, 2008
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[small]Seeing that my 666th post didn't turn me into an evil overlord (sadly) I continue my posting.[/small]

So, I was walking to the tram station yesterday and thought of a funny made up magazine headline. I thought it would make a funny topic. So, post any headlines you can think of. If you wish you can include the name of the source (news channel, newspaper, magazine etc).

I will start: Ass Magazine: Spring Ass Fashions! (Things to wear on your ass)

That was horrible, I agree, but let's see what everyone else thinks of :)
 
10BIT

10BIT

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Sep 14, 2008
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These are all actual headlines:
Transsexuals benefits cut off.

Male naturist members rise.

Cocaine use hits new high.

Antique stripper to display wares at store.

Dead body found in cemetery.

LA voters approve urban renewal by landslide.

I have a whole book of these if people want to hear them.
 
WittyName

WittyName

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Jan 3, 2009
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saikanoto said:
These are all actual headlines:
Transsexuals benefits cut off.

Male naturist members rise.

Cocaine use hits new high.

Antique stripper to display wares at store.

Dead body found in cemetery.

LA voters approve urban renewal by landslide.

I have a whole book of these if people want to hear them.
Click to expand...
Those are great!

What other ones do you have?
 
ZeroMachine

ZeroMachine

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Oct 11, 2008
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saikanoto said:
These are all actual headlines:
Transsexuals benefits cut off.

Male naturist members rise.

Cocaine use hits new high.

Antique stripper to display wares at store.

Dead body found in cemetery.

LA voters approve urban renewal by landslide.

I have a whole book of these if people want to hear them.
Click to expand...
All of that was pure gold.
 
B

Beefcakes

Pants Lord of Vodka
Aug 11, 2008
835
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saikanoto said:
These are all actual headlines:
Transsexuals benefits cut off.

Male naturist members rise.

Cocaine use hits new high.

Antique stripper to display wares at store.

Dead body found in cemetery.

LA voters approve urban renewal by landslide.

I have a whole book of these if people want to hear them.
Click to expand...
Me thinks a good chuck of those might be intentional puns, or massive flukes
I love the last one, the Author has a sick sense on humour. Or is just bad at re-reading his work.

Sorry, I have none myself, just wanted to talk about that one
 
The Maddest March Hare

The Maddest March Hare

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Jun 13, 2009
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It's a bit dark but : Diana was alive before she was dead.

Continuing with the article saying how new evidence has emerged that Diana was alive and well before she died. Shocking stuff.

Yes, it's real.

Edit: Found it. Spoiler'd for size.

 
10BIT

10BIT

New member
Sep 14, 2008
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More as requested:
Juvenile court to try shooting defendant

Lingerie shipment hijacked - thief gives police the slip

Crash courses for private pilots

Man struck by lightning faces battery charge

Clinton stiff on withdrawal

Golfer charged with drunken driving

Astronaut takes blame for gas in spacecraft

Alzheimer's centre prepares for an affair to remember

Condom firm stretches product line

Judge to rule on nude beach

Bishop hoists his cassock to reveal a secret

Circumcision now seen as pointless
 
Skuffyshootster

Skuffyshootster

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Jan 13, 2009
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I got some:

Patient At Death's Door,Doctors Pull Him Through
March Planned For Next August
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
Connie Tied, Nude Policeman Testifies
Women's Movement Called More Broad-Based
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Child's Stool Great for Use in Garden
Cancer Society Honors Marlboro Man
20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar (think about it)
Man is Fatally Slain
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
Defendants Speech Ends in Long Sentence
Hershey Bars Protest
Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
 
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