#! funny reasons why you got kicked out of walmart

[Octorok]

I?m Irish and during my holiday to Florida I regularly visited the local Wal-Mart(s).

Me and some of my friends were amazed at how big it was and everything it sold. Then we went over to buy some candy when we noticed fucking air rifles one aisle away. I went berserk and began shouting whilst my friends held me back.

We got asked to leave for disturbing other shoppers? ...Please.

Air rifles? In a supermarket? I'm living the most boring country, ever!

Seriously, it takes six months and more paperwork than a Civil Service Pay Rise to get a measly shotgun, but they sell air guns in WalMart. In this country, I think Air Guns are illegal for people under, what, 16/17/18?

Is this going to be a series?

Anyway, we don't have Walmart in Ireland (thank fuck) but the funniest reason I got kicked out of a shop in general was I walked in backwards. Yep, you read that right.

The reason given?

I could've been a drug dealer....

WHAT KIND OF DEMENTED LOGIC DO THESE PEOPLE OPERATE ON?!

We definitely have a winner here.

is that a true story cause that was dman funny

The post said "True Story" at the top. Plus, why bother posting a lie? It wouldn't be funny. I could say that I got thrown out of Walmart for having sex with four models in Organic Produce, but it's not true so lacks any humour.

 

[TheLastCylon]

I've never been kicked out of a Walmart!


*smiles obnoxiously and points to gold star pinned on shirt*

 

[Daveman]

is that a true story cause that was dman funny

why thank you, I agree it is "Daveman funny". I got kicked out of a night club because in my drunkeness I headbutted a door down... no wait. A fire escape, that was it.

 

[FalloutJack]

I...can't enter Walmart. It's like the vampires in church. It just doesn't happen. Actually, no. That's wrong. It's like the Pope at a Death Metal concert. Wait, no. That made it sound kinda' cool. It's like...taking a dive into a cesspool not far from a nuclear power plant...FOR FUN! There we go! Analogy achieved!

 

[hippykiller]

i got kicked out of a gas station store for putting a gun in the store clerks face and yelling "gimme the cash you fucking newb!" some people just have no seance of humor

 

[gRiM_rEaPeRsco]

in merry ole scotland we dont have walmarts which can only be a good thing i suppose

OT: ive never been thrown out of a shop before but in scotland theres probably bigger concerns to shop keepers than big hairy egits.

 

[Ack-ack]

well it was not walmart as i do not live within 1000 miles of one but other chain store, oh and this really happened.
i had a friend that worked in that store so i borrowed one of his work-shirts (cant say uniforms as the uniform is just a shirt) and went to faff about in the store for 3 hours, i moved all the shopping carts to the most distant corner of the parking lot, stood infront of the cashiers drinking and eating while laughing at the ones that bought weird stuff (like that one 19 year old nerdy guy that bought pokemon dvds), directing people who asked for stuff to the wrong end of the store and telling others THE line "how should i know i only work here", and then finally one guy figured out i did not actually work there and threw me out, yes i know im a gigantic asshole (i thought it was funny :O)

 

[Satin6T]

didn't happen to me but this is awesome

Spoiler

 

[ethaninja]

Fuck...

One word got me a week of detention...

From Walmart?

 

[fatmann55]

Great story

 

[A Satanic Panda]

My friend is a fat ass that can't keep his balance so he tripped over and landed anus first on a stroller with a baby in it, the baby was not hurt but the mother screamed so fucking loud security came and forced us out and blacklisted us from the store, meaning we can't buy stuff from there again.

 

[rapidoud]

well it was not walmart as i do not live within 1000 miles of one but other chain store, oh and this really happened.
i had a friend that worked in that store so i borrowed one of his work-shirts (cant say uniforms as the uniform is just a shirt) and went to faff about in the store for 3 hours, i moved all the shopping carts to the most distant corner of the parking lot, stood infront of the cashiers drinking and eating while laughing at the ones that bought weird stuff (like that one 19 year old nerdy guy that bought pokemon dvds), directing people who asked for stuff to the wrong end of the store and telling others THE line "how should i know i only work here", and then finally one guy figured out i did not actually work there and threw me out, yes i know im a gigantic asshole (i thought it was funny :O)

You have the humour of a 5 year old. Grow up and join us in the real world soon please, before your head explodes.

No Walmarts in Australia, but I'm sure Yahtzee has been kicked out of Coles/Safeways (Woolworths) in South Australia.

Also seen that kMart letter before, it's not true but still funny nonetheless!

 

[Canadaftw]

didn't happen to me but this is awesome

Spoiler

I have to know where you found that.

 

[Pimppeter2]

[HEADING=2]For helping a customer![/HEADING]

No joke!

There was this immigrant guy that asked me about the Ps3 that he wanted to buy for his son and I told him about the future price cut (the $299 one). After the man left this ***** told me to get the fuck out.

I was less than amused.

 

[technoted]

dont have walmart in england but i got kicked out of a tesco's for having long hair and facial peircings. apparently i was scaring people, they didn't even let me finish shopping.

i also got asked to leave a church for going in with an inverted pentagram and 666 painted on my chest with blood but at least thats logical and not over my hair

 

[Pimppeter2]

didn't happen to me but this is awesome

Spoiler

That guy deserves a medal!

 

[kenne88]

in merry ole scotland we dont have walmarts which can only be a good thing i suppose

OT: ive never been thrown out of a shop before but in scotland theres probably bigger concerns to shop keepers than big hairy egits.

why is everone o n the escapist from ireland or scotland

 

[madcap2112]

didn't happen to me but this is awesome

Spoiler

Wow, that guy is my hero.

 

[Canadaftw]

Since it doesn't have to be true I'll tell you a story I just made up. I dressed up as Super man, then, I mounted my Ostrich known as "Whiskers" then rode it into Wal Mart while throwing balls of Play-dough at shopers, then to my dissmay chuck norris thentackled me knocking me off "Whiskers" and then said "If your gonna throw Play-dough at my store you'll first have to thumb wrestle me!" So we did and long story short I conquered Sweden, was turned into a DC comic book hero, was elected Dictator of the penguin people, got married, got a small island somewhere in the Pacific Ocean and killed a small cat. Oh yeah and got kicked out of Wal Mart.