Everybody can appreciate a well-chiseled badonkadonk, a great ass can take a sunrise and sprinkle it with dew. So without any further adieu it's time to celebrate the cream of the gluteal crop and countdown the 8 greatest asses in video games.
Please take a look.
#8 Donkey - Shrek Swamp Kart Speedway
It is everybody's favourite equine, it's Donkey! Do you remember the time when he started flying? Or when he asked if they were there yet? I sure do, oh how we all laughed!
#7 Nick Carlyle - Lollipop Chainsaw
I mean yeah, sure, technically he doesn't actually have an ass, but c'mon! Somebody as dreamy as Nick's head is bound to have had a nice, rotund behind at some point! That's just plain logic, you can't argue with that so don't even try.
#6 Captain Falcon - F-Zero series
You know you have a godlike posterior when Nintendo immortalises it in Amiibo form. Who needs to leave luck to heaven with a behind like that?
#5 Rikishi from WWE
Oh yeah, you can do the Stinkface on me anytime you like, big boy!
#4 Wario - Super Mario series
This Italian Stallion looks like he's smuggling a watermelon in the back of his dungarees. Be careful if you're going to Australia! They're really strict about foreign flora entering the country.
#3 Solid Snake - Metal Gear Solid series
My favourite Metal Gear game is Metal Gear Solid 3: Rise of The Machines. Get to tha choppa!
#2 Starscream - Transformers series
It's a little known fact that any aspiring leader of a coup d'etat has to be a sexy hunk of man meat - Starscream included. Just look at Colonel Gaddafi:
Plus it's big and red like a baboons, what do you want from me?
...
And the No. 1 pick for the best ass in video games is... drum roll please...
#1 Sonic The Hedgehog - Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games
20+ years of running at super sonic speeds has left everybody's favourite blue hedgehog with the best backend of any video game character to date. Add in inflation and you get twice the fun.
Our lives are all enriched by Sonic's bowling ball sized glutes, and I ask that you pray to your particularl deity everyday for this gift we have been given.
...
Well that's all we've got time for this week, folks! Thank you for sharing this amazing journey with me, I hope it's been an enlightening experience.
Now get the hell off my lawn.
Please take a look.
#8 Donkey - Shrek Swamp Kart Speedway
It is everybody's favourite equine, it's Donkey! Do you remember the time when he started flying? Or when he asked if they were there yet? I sure do, oh how we all laughed!
#7 Nick Carlyle - Lollipop Chainsaw
I mean yeah, sure, technically he doesn't actually have an ass, but c'mon! Somebody as dreamy as Nick's head is bound to have had a nice, rotund behind at some point! That's just plain logic, you can't argue with that so don't even try.
#6 Captain Falcon - F-Zero series
You know you have a godlike posterior when Nintendo immortalises it in Amiibo form. Who needs to leave luck to heaven with a behind like that?
#5 Rikishi from WWE
Oh yeah, you can do the Stinkface on me anytime you like, big boy!
#4 Wario - Super Mario series
This Italian Stallion looks like he's smuggling a watermelon in the back of his dungarees. Be careful if you're going to Australia! They're really strict about foreign flora entering the country.
#3 Solid Snake - Metal Gear Solid series
My favourite Metal Gear game is Metal Gear Solid 3: Rise of The Machines. Get to tha choppa!
#2 Starscream - Transformers series
It's a little known fact that any aspiring leader of a coup d'etat has to be a sexy hunk of man meat - Starscream included. Just look at Colonel Gaddafi:
Plus it's big and red like a baboons, what do you want from me?
...
And the No. 1 pick for the best ass in video games is... drum roll please...
#1 Sonic The Hedgehog - Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games
20+ years of running at super sonic speeds has left everybody's favourite blue hedgehog with the best backend of any video game character to date. Add in inflation and you get twice the fun.
Our lives are all enriched by Sonic's bowling ball sized glutes, and I ask that you pray to your particularl deity everyday for this gift we have been given.
...
Well that's all we've got time for this week, folks! Thank you for sharing this amazing journey with me, I hope it's been an enlightening experience.
Now get the hell off my lawn.
