Game characters, if they were seeking employment in the real world?

[XMark]

Imagine, if you will, that in every video game world, the conflicts were resolved, and all the game heroes and villains had to move on and get regular jobs and contribute to normal society. What would they all do?

Example: Mario = plumber (yeah that's an easy one lol)

hehe, my captcha is "pipe down"

 

[Mad Maniac with axe-firing chainsaw]

I can totally see War working in a supermarket stacking shelves. (Darksiders)

On a serious note, Sonic would obviously make a good athlete. However, he'd probably get disqualified for being a blue hedgehog, become bitter and depressed, mooch off Tails (who would of course become a genius in the field of aeronautic engineering) and ultimately die alone and unloved in some pool somewhere, his last thoughts being of his better days when he was still a hero.

Depressed?

 

[JoshGod]

The title made me think of this.

Spoiler

OT
Geralt could be a gigolo.

 

[Scarim Coral]

Well Travis Touchdown is already qualify in several fields of work (a cook, petrol refill, scorpion picker, kitten finder, stunt driver and assassin).

Well for one thing Link is forbidden to work in a pottery shop ever while I think Pikachu can as a power source in some powerplant. Sure that could be count as animal cruelty but if the paid is good Pikachu would do it.

 

[XMark]

Ramirez could do pretty much anything.

 

[Kahunaburger]

Ramirez could do pretty much anything.

/thread

Wait... you started the thread just so you could post that, didn't you?

 

[Melon Hunter]

I'd imagine Big Daddies would make quite good nursery workers. And maybe Faith from Mirror's Edge could become a professional athlete or something.

 

[The Knightly Gamer]

John Marston marriage counselor (he was loyal to his wife Ill give him that lol)

Garrus Vakarian Mechanic (make some calibrations on the car)

 

[CaseClosed343]

I can totally see War working in a supermarket stacking shelves. (Darksiders)

On a serious note, Sonic would obviously make a good athlete. However, he'd probably get disqualified for being a blue hedgehog, become bitter and depressed, mooch off Tails (who would of course become a genius in the field of aeronautic engineering) and ultimately die alone and unloved in some pool somewhere, his last thoughts being of his better days when he was still a hero.

Depressed?

Have you seen Sonic for Hire on youtube? It is a show about Sonic looking for jobs in different video games. It was my first thought when I saw this topic.

 

[the abyss gazes also]

Kratos... Butcher? What the hell else are you going to do with swords practically welded to your wrists?

 

[JaceArveduin]

Kratos... Butcher? What the hell else are you going to do with swords practically welded to your wrists?

We're in the 21st century man, we have cutting torches!

I could see Spyro selling the worlds best BBQ for some reason.

 

[the abyss gazes also]

Kratos... Butcher? What the hell else are you going to do with swords practically welded to your wrists?

We're in the 21st century man, we have cutting torches!

Truth.

So then how about motivational speaker or suicide hotline crisis counselor?

 

[Terminate421]

Garrus Vakarian would be a goddamn lawyer.

 

[Porecomesis]

Shulk from Xenoblade Chronicles would be a good engineer, I imagine.

 

[NerfedFalcon]

Jack Rourke from the latest Need for Speed game would make a decent stunt driver.

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

I can imagine my grimrock characters would be great square dancing instructors.

 

[Samantha Burt]

My mind keeps coming back to the image of duke nukem stood as a cashier at, like, Tesco or something.

Imagine in his voice: "Hi, would you like a bag? Do you have a clubcard?" etc

 

[scorptatious]

The Heavy would be a professional boxer/wrestler.

The Medic would be, what else? A doctor.

The Scout would be a professional baseball player.

The Engineer would be a car mechanic. He would add sentries to a car's engine as a courtesy gift to his customers. :3

The Spy would be a lawyer.

The Pyro would be a gardener.

The Demoman would be a bartender. ...Actually that would be a terrible idea. Basketball maybe?

The Soldier would be a Gym teacher.

The Sniper would own a fruit shop.

 

[Furioso]

Based on my most recent game playthrough, Mitsuru from Persona 3:FES could make love potions what with all the "Marin Karin" spells she casts all the fucking time (A largely useless charm spell)

Also been playing Shadow of the Colossus, Wander could probably become a gymnast due to that titan grip that allows him to literally hold on by the hairs as he gets tossed around like paper in a wind tunnel. Aggro could probably win some races