Not in any way affiliated with the Church of Satan or the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
Not valid where void. See dealer for details.
Stunts performed by professional drivers on closed courses.
No animals were harmed in the making of this trailer, aside from one penguin, and a rather ornery donkey. Several hundred kittens were killed during gameplay, but no one cares about them.
Not available in select cities of the United States, its territories, or embassies. Illegal in Canada and Mexico. Use of this product is considered a warcrime under Geneva Convention, statute 401125215.6812-B.
All actors in scenes containing sexuality meet federal required guidlines, and are confirmed to be over the age of 3. Said actors are in compliance with most state pornography laws, and their identities are protected under federal regulation 19445-G.
Electrosoftware Incorporated is not responsible for any acts of Satanism, Mormonism, death, seizure, stroke, torture, illegal immigration, or disrupted bowel that may occur from gameplay.
All rights reserved. Copyright Electrosoftware Incorporated.
This game is not yet rated, because rating systems of sufficient awesomeness do not yet exist. It's probably not okay for kids, but we all know that won't stop them from begging your face off until you let them play.
If you experience an erection lasting 4 or more hours during gameplay, you're a sick and twisted individual.
Under no circumstances should this game be played between the hours of 2:28pm and 4:40am (PST). Failure to comply is known in the state of California to cause demons to appear, as well as spontaneous fits of cancer.
May cause any of the following: Increased appetite, indigestion, nervousness or restlessness, darkening or lightening of skin color, dizziness or lightheadedness, flushing of face or cheeks, hiccups, increased sweating, sensation of spinning, decreased or blurred vision, diarrhea, shingles, piles, the runs, itchy palm syndrome, menstruation in men, spontaneous combustion, advanced aging, ping-pong pancreas, monkey bites, nipple hair, pre early late nostril expansion, fecal explosivity, spraying mantis, breast reduction, cardiac arrest, cardiac parole, cardiac becoming a productive member of society, Big-Bird's disease, swelling of the knees, gunshot wounds, phallic discotheq, constipation in marsupials, and magnetic elbow syndrome.
Playing for more than 3 hours may cause: Sudden urges to drink cat blood, bullet wounds, severe to extreme insanity, excessive swearing or masturbation, hair and skin loss, or death.
Satan's Retrievers may contain extreme content that totally rules.