GamerGate Haikus: Post 'em if you got 'em

[FutureExile]

The skies grow dark. From
A deep slumber the beast wakes:
4chan is angered.

"Twitter is for fools"
Says developer. Thousands
Tweet their approval.

Gamers dying like
This sick yew-tree claims man who
Set fire to orchard


On Phil Fish leaving the internet (yet again) ...

In summer he leaves.
In winter he'll return. His
Mutton-chops linger, ghost-like.

.

 

[tstorm823]

Gamers, journalists,
and developers have a
colonoscopy.

 

[FutureExile]

"Doxing is so wrong"
Says man while searching for GIFs
of The Fappening

 

[Strain42]

What is Gamergate?
Seriously, I don't know.
No attention paid.

Haikus are fun.

 

[Jadwick]

It's not about Quinn.
It's about integrity,
but, Burger and Fries.



It's a hoax you know,
the whole thing was a setup.
What is a hashtag?



They suffer greatly
from the pain in their rear ends.
Twitter is stupid.



Your infographic
is very professional
with all those red lines.



Hey you, feminism;
What are your values now, huh?
Lets be done with ye.



Social media
is just the worst thing ever.
Why don't you f**k off?



I put three line breaks
between each of these poems
but only one shows.



Haikus are easy,
But sometimes they don't make sense.
Refrigerator.

 

[Dragonlayer]

Condescending twats,
the sides mirrored.
Where did the games go?

 

[Mr. Omega]

"It's about ethics"!
While linking Breitbart dot com
Comedy is dead

Seriously, though
They're linking fucking BRIETBART
It's all a bad joke

Tim Schafer's a man
GG regularly bugs
but it's for "ethics"

 

[Master_of_Oldskool]

Shut the fuck up, shut
The fuck up, shut the fuck up
Seriously, stop

I don't even care
Who wins or loses this "war"
I'm just fucking burnt

Both sides tend to have
Valid points, legit concerns
Buried under shit

Have you stupid fucks
Never heard of middle ground
And moderation?

I will bend over
For feminazis or the
Hated manchildren

I will accept a
Games industry that is filled
With toxic assholes

I give up on the
Hope of betterment or on
Having mindless fun

I'll lay down and let
Whatever bad thing may come
Roll right over me

Taking a stand is
Too hard for my anxious ass
And too frustrating

Inclusivity
Is good; mindless PC-ness
Is not; COMPROMISE.

A sense of humor
Is good; exlusion and slurs
Are not; COMPROMISE.

But you won't, and I
Don't have the time or patience
To make my voice heard

Am I the bad guy?
Yeah, I admit that I am
Apathy's deadly

But for fuck's sweet sake,
This battle of attrition
Breeds it like sickness

Shut the fuck up, shut
The fuck up, shut the fuck up
Seriously, stop.

 

[Callate]

I will not engage
This fight is so beneath me
Post One of Ninety.

 

[debtcollector]

SNIP

Beautiful.

OT: The damage is done;
Our reputation shattered,
"Gamers" dropped the ball.

What are gamers now?
Gamers threaten, harass, lie
For their agendas.

They hunt for monsters:
"Corruption" between the press
And some indie devs.

Where this corruption?
Gamers know it's there, but proof?
"No proof, no matter."

Quinn slept with writer?
Who gives a fuck? Just one game.
Nobody's business.

But not for gamers!
We drank it up, tabloid shit
Couldn't just move on.

And we want ethics?
Don't make me laugh. Gamers don't
Understand ethics.

I know we're better.
I know we're not all the same.
At least, I hope so.

But I don't want to
Admit "Yeah, I'm a gamer"
To those who are not.

I'm no gamer now.
Fuck #Gamergate, au revoir.
I'll just play games now.

 

[Rayce Archer]

Some folks broken up,
Lady bangs journalist, why not?
Pissy guy writes list.

Everyone mad!
Lots of loud opinions:
Why no sex for me?

Lady in plaid shirt,
Guy who made that ok game,
Weigh in, arouse rage.

Conspiracy! Lies!
A campaign against he-men!
Man-children weep tears.

Confused back at home,
What's the fucking fuss about?
Let's talk about Doom.

 

[FPLOON]

Outsider watches
As a wall of corruption
Falls due to hashtag?

Gamer's out of line?
You're out of line, journalist!
Got integrity?

Greg Tito responds
Contacting 4Chan head-on
Wait... How he do that?

Alexander speaks
Ethics gets a make-over
The code is restored

Where's the janitor?
They have a big job in store
Should get a V8

A bit off-topic...
But, I love this fucking thread!
So many haikus[footnote]Drooling at the mouth...
Reading all of the haikus...
Well, back to gaming...[/footnote]...

 

[Mezahmay]

I checked the forums
The forums were all on fire
Did homework instead

Came back up for air
The flames have consumed it all
Back into the hole

A word of advice:
Grab a pint and let this whole
thing just blow over

 

[DaWaffledude]

I don't even know
what the words you are using
are supposed to mean.

 

[RexMundane]

In massive tweet-war
For "Gamers" to gain respect
Everyone lost it

In need to be right
Both sides concoct mad theories
Gazing navel-ward

Debate is healthy
This toxic environment
Will not allow it

Twitter kills discourse
Too-brief arguments all fail
So says this Haiku

 

[And Man]

GamerGate topics
Are flooding The Escapist
Look! Another one!

 

[V da Mighty Taco]

Harassment is wrong
Gamers do not hate women
Fuck everybody.

Nobody is safe
Not even those who don't care
The lines have been drawn

It's Us versus Them
At least that's what both sides claim
The problems start here

If I hear again
Strawmen of opposition
I will lose my mind

It seems no one cares
For hearing each other out
Civility's dead

 

[Zhukov]

Get a thicker skin
Say those who then reveal the
Thinnest skins of all

 

[Fappy]

Where are all the jokes
About Zoe "deepthroating" a dick
I thought we were better

Bad allegory
Gamergate needs a new hashtag
Something more fitting

Spoiler

Seriously, I am surprised we don't see more watergate related hyperbole considering the movement's namesake.

 

[Ragsnstitches]

The fuck do I know,
A lady gets her horn on
Eck! journalism!