Gaming talk translated

[TheEnglishman]

It's dark and gritty = Lots and tits and blood

We're appealing to family markets = You know those parents who know nothing about games, we're ripping them off

It comes with cinematic style animation = Hope you like cut scenes!

This game is very cinematic = Why do movie direcctors get all the glory! I want some too!

Comes in impressive collector edition box = We ran out of stuff to talk about

Gameplay isn't everything in a game = I have very bad grasp of the English language

Any more...

 

[Robert632]

it's a very big world=lots of empty plains.

 

[Legion]

~ The game has an in-depth story = We will kill off half the characters, and make one of them do something morally questionable.

~ The sequel will have X many new weapons = We are going to change the stats and models just enough to be able to call them something different while they are essentially the same.

I shall add more as I come up with them.

 

[DuplicateValue]

Edit: Ah now I get you.

Can't think of any at the moment, I'll have to get back to you.

 

[Queen Michael]

It's an interactive movie! = It's almost not an actual game!

It's for the children = It's too boring for everybody else, but the kids might buy it since Spongebob is in it.

 

[Jon Etheridge]

Fun for the whole family! = This game most likely sucks.

 

[Cherry Cola]

We think this is a good idea= We actually have no idea what we are talking about and will now remove dedicated servers.

Had to do it.

 

[BlindTom]

We're streamlining the experience = We're ruining the franchise.

 

[Vohn_exel]

We have many plans for DLC in the future= There's lots of stuff already on the disc that we can still charge you for!

 

[bundito]

Combines genre X with genre Y = We couldn't decide, so we did both genres half-assed.

 

[Insert Comedy Here]

We're re-imagining a classic game = Put its head in the guillotine, quickly.

Due to difficulties the relase date has been pushed back to... = Fuck, we ran out of time.

We're proud to release Madden '10 = We just gave you the same game for four years straight.

 

[Hristo Petrov]

Were releasing it for all the major gaming systems - no PC version

 

[Kollega]

We're exploring new ways of storytelling = we're going dark and gritty (see above).

We want to deliver finest experience possible on all platforms = PC version will suck, because if it would be good, console ones COULD THEORETICALLY look bad.

Our game will be GTA / Halo / WoW / [insert any popular game here]-killer = we want cheap publicity, even if we cannot possibly beat GTA / Halo / WoW / [insert any popular game here].

Our game will be very morally ambiguous and pose tough questions to players = Look at Modern Warfare 2 and (dun-dun-dunn!) Airport Scene! All the controversy! Free PR on national television! DO WANT!

 

[ShadowsofHope]

We value our gaming consumers = We're only saying this because we have to, we probably couldn't care much a shit less.

 

[traceur_]

It will include DLC = We're going to charge you extra for a bunch of stuff that we could have put in before release but we just really couldn't be be fucked, haha.

The game will offer at least 100 hours of gameplay = The game will have about 15 hours of gameplay.

 

[freakyalex]

We've created an innovative new gaming experience that will revolutionise the way you play = We've made a tiny change to something that didn't matter anyway. Marvel at the all-new menu screen text!

 

[NickNoir]

We're taking an action/stealth approach to the gameplay = There will be guns, which you will probably need when you get spotted trying to stealth for the 30th time.

 

[ScarlettRage]

We're streamlining the experience = We're ruining the franchise.

damn you took mine
fun for the whole family- you will be killing each other in a hour

 

[aruseusx]

Damn I'm having a huge mind block right now

[insert B-rated celebrity here] will be doing a voice role = A one dialogue cameo because we have a terrible budget.

We are experimenting with this sequel = We are getting with the old gameplay completely which worked perfectly and giving it a dodgy combat system and false sandbox gameplay.