As a bisexual who has been in plenty of same-sex relationships, I clearly have no problem with them. On the subject of polygamy, I have no problem with it for others but recognize a feral jealousy in me that would not mix well with it in one of my own relationships, though some of my more casual relationships have had a "just use protection and be discreet," rule set on both of us. None of those ended badly, but they also didn't progress past a point of easy pick up dinner, fool around, watch Daily Show, go to bed kind of way. We always parted on good terms, but it was generally just that we would both lose interest and stop calling each other.
I've noticed some people saying that they had "no problem" with gay relationships as long as it's not thrown in their face, i.e. as long as the people in question doesn't act "too gay" or "flamboyant" which I think is both ridiculous and offensive. If the bible said, instead of homosexuality, that writing with your left hand was a sin, how would you expect left-handed people to "hide" it in public? Wobbly-signatures on card-readers at the grocery store? Purposefully limiting their potential in sports? Thinking every second of every day about what hand they're using to reach for something and whether or not somebody is watching them do the most mundane and natural things?
It's unreasonable and uncomfortable. If you think seeing two men sharing a kiss makes you uncomfortable, imagine how they must feel when a spontaneous display of affection for someone that they love earns the glare/stare/weird look/judgment of some asshole stranger who feels that the entire world needs to conform to their comfort zone. It is exhausting to worry about maintaining a "public" persona on top of your true one. While I have known plenty of homosexuals who DON'T speak with a lisp, I don't consider them "normal" just like I don't consider a homosexual who does speak with a lisp to be "the norm" either. Like people who are left-handed, it turns out gay people (...some of whom are left handed. This metaphor is starting to stretch thin.) may be interested in anything from sports to interior design, construction to brain surgery, cooking to painting, and while their left-handedness is a part of their every day, it is an unconscious part that has very little to do with whether or not they're interested in sports, cooking, painting, etc.
However, if you start telling them to maybe "tone down the left-handedness a little bit," suddenly every time they reach for a ball or a paintbrush or a scalpel in a way that feels natural to them, they have to worry about whether or not they're being too left-handed.
How utterly miserable.
Clearly, this is not a perfect metaphor. But when people start complaining to me about the "gay lisp" or how they're not homophobic, they just "don't want it shoved in their face," I am always left to imagine if people have thought about how unreasonable this is by framing it differently in their head. Are we fine with interracial relationships as long as they don't throw it in our faces and 'tone it down' and 'think about what parents might have to say to their children about it'? Are we fine with ultra-feminine women who genuinely enjoy wearing make-up and dresses, or would we like them to tone it down? Are we fine with NOT ultra-femme women who DON'T enjoy wearing make-up and dresses, or do we want them to tone that Weirdy Weirdness That Makes You Weird And Different From Me down?
I understand that many people feel like they want to be allies but still have discomfort that they need to address, but placing the burden of your comfort on someone who has already probably been asked to be more "normal" (therefor being told that they're ABNORMAL) by self-absorbed though probably well-meaning people is a little selfish. As gamers, we often make a big deal about how 'geeks' get othered in high school for dressing differently or being interested in different things. It always surprises me when people are unable to apply that experience to another similar one and find empathy.
