Vault101 said:
to a lot of people "Bi" doesn't seem to mean "attracted to both genders" so much as [i/]promiscuous/confused/kinky/prone to infidelity/exhibitionist/up for anything/seriously ANYTHING/a phase/experimenting/will leave you for a guy[/i]
when did it get so complicated?
This is very true. Also, sometimes gay people like to tell me I need to "pick a side" or that I'm just faking. However, those are usually gay people who don't KNOW me. I've gotten a lot of flack from both sides, with assumptions made about me because of my sexuality by all sorts of people. (Seriously, you totally hit the nail on the head. Straight people assume I'm a horny sex-addict who keeps a plethora of lovers, and gay people assume I'm either faking or, more often, that I'm just scared to come out as a lesbian.) For a while, I thought about adopting one of the newer, more ambiguous terms, but I came out as bisexual when I was fifteen, and if the jerks with the pickup truck in high school didn't make me change my mind on that, then the snippy homosexual isn't going to either.
Though I'd say that there has been some great positive strides in representation made recently, especially this year, that have started some interesting discussions in both gay communities, and fan communities. Korrasami's bisexual women, including one who wasn't white (bigger deal than anybody realizes. I think the last time this happened was on The Wire.), building their relationship in a way that isn't overtly sexualized for straight male watchers- I'm looking at you, Joss Whedon and Willow and Tara- was a huge deal to me. And if Fitz turns out to be a bisexual male hero in Agents of SHIELD? Holy shit. I will dance in the streets.
It's weird, because bisexual men and bisexual women tend to get shoved into different camps. The women are generally assumed to be overly sexual, and their sexuality tends to be treated, usually by straight men from my experience, as something meant to titillate. Seriously, if a dude introduced his girlfriend to me and I started going, "oh my God, you're HET? That's SOOOO hot. I mean, what do you guys do in the bedroom? I bet you just get in there and POUND that. I bet you just WRECK it," I bet they'd get uncomfortable pretty fast.
Meanwhile, I've noticed that people tend to say that bisexual men are just horny losers who can't be picky because it's hard enough to get people to sleep with them. Such a weird shift. I get shamed for being sexual. They get shamed for not being sexual enough. A lot of bisexual men get treated as though they're just incapable of getting girls to sleep with them. I hate this treatment, but I think it's interesting how women and men tend to be shamed differently. Of course, both approaches apply to all genders, but from what I've noticed, guys tend to get the "you're just not man enough to get enough women," insults whereas girls get the, "you're just a slut who sleeps with too many people," insults.
Last, I noticed there are people in here who keep saying that churches should not be forced to perform gay marriages, to which I would say nobody is trying to force churches to perform gay marriages.
HOWEVER!
Some christians and churches are trying to bully OTHER churches into not performing gay marriages. Despite what you might think, there are plenty of churches in my community that fly rainbow flags, or have an Ally triangle on their sign, and they find it offensive and troubling that people try to use their God as an excuse to be cruel. If a church doesn't want to perform marriage ceremonies for gay couples, fine, don't. But don't try to hijack the legal definition of marriage and force Ally pastors who are acting as their personal relationship with God tells them to to follow YOUR reading of the scripture.
I know pastors of over forty years who get so sad every time someone tries to use them and their religion as an excuse to be homophobes because:
1. If we're not supposed to do what the bible says is bad then put down the shrimp and go stone your father for wearing fabric made of two different materials.
2. NOT EVERY CHRISTIAN, PASTOR, AND CHURCH COMMUNITY IS A BUNCH OF BIGOTED IDIOTS. All the pastors, Christians, and churches that I know of (not Christian myself, but there's several in town that fly the flag, and one in particular in town that always provides safe gathering space during protests, and they also do the end-of-the-day service during the Day of Silence where people choose not to speak for twenty-four hours to understand how difficult it can be for homosexuals who have been bullied into silence, and there's another that my friend is a pastor for.) are all PERFECTLY LOVELY PEOPLE. Not a one of them believes that gay people don't deserve the love and acceptance of their God, and not a one of them opposes gay marriage.
So, people who are saying that churches shouldn't be "forced" to perform gay marriage, they'd like to tell you that they don't want to be forced to be bigots just because the most vocal, annoying members of the flock think they should be. Stop using Christians as an excuse to oppose same-sex marriage. There are many who are all for it and they're tired of getting lumped in with the small-minded assholes.
