He is unhappy with the use of the word gay to mean "bad". Problem is, just about every single person does it. My brother doesn't have anything against gay people, but he uses the term. I myself have used the term to mean "bad". What can I say, I grew up in Australia, and that's the language that was used on the school grounds. I picked it up as a slang word, just as everyone did.
I have made an effort to not use that word in that sense, but damn it, I can't be bothered filtering and monitoring what I say every single second of every single day. For what it's worth, INTENTIONS matter. If someone doesn't mean to offend, and in this case, I think it's pretty clear that Grace did not mean to offend, then let it go. There's enough REAL hatred out there you know.
I am half Chinese. I don't really look it though (my brother does, however) and when I'm around white people I have heard racist speech, not directed at me, but against other chinese people, and believe me, it sets my teeth on edge. Recently, I heard someone complain about "cheap chinese goods" and knockoffs. Did I get offended? Did I raise a stink over the issue? No, due to the fact that china does produce many cheap goods (for which I am grateful) and unfortunately many knockoffs do come from China. The man wasn't intending to insult Chinese people, but had an issue with economic practices, which is fair enough. So I let it go. Because intent MATTERS. Speech without intent is meaningless, it's just sound.
In the case of Denby Grace, I seriously doubt that a conscious jab at gay people was the intent. Therefore, it was not insult. Insult REQUIRES INTENT. You cannot unintentionally insult someone - that's just being tactless or unsophisticated. People can be offended by unintentional remarks, but that is not the same thing as being insulted directly.
I don't like using the word "gay" as a pejorative, and I have (largely) stopped. But I know many people who do use it. They aren't gay-bashers, they aren't conservative voting, angry bigots who fear those different from them - in fact, they're largely progressive people who back Same Sex Marriage. It's just that in the culture they grew up in, that was how people talked.
To make such a fuss over this, HURTS those who do support gay rights. Instead of focusing on important issues, they focus on small matters and wording. They are literally arguing over semantics and syntax, when gays are being stoned to death in Saudi Arabia, and when gay military personnel have to lead double lives.
Look, gay people, you need straight people to join your cause. By doing this, you are just trying people's patience. Intent matters, context matters, and raising a fuss over a slip of the tongue, or some slang, raising a fuss over ONE SYLLABLE, a sound in the air, not designed to cause offense, is just silly.
For the record, using the N-word isn't the same thing. That isn't slang in most parts of the world, it is a deliberate insult. When people say the N-word, they say so INTENTIONALLY to refer to black people. No one says "man,that's so N-word". No, every time the N-word is used, it is directed SPECIFICALLY at people.
But even then, I make allowances for the elderly, so long as it was a slip up. For example, I used to know a man who referred to Indigenous Australians as "abbos", which is quite offensive to them. I pointed this out to him, calmly, when he did it, and he always apologized. Apart from the use of that word, he was fine - he backed the Government apology to the Aboriginal community, he was in favour of giving them more land-rights, but the dude was 58 years old and that's the language he grew up in. It worms your way into your mind and sits there.
So gay people - please understand that INTENT MATTERS. I know you don't like hearing that word used in a negative light and I understand that. But anger doesn't help. Anger is appropriate if someone is GENUINELY insulting gay people, but if they aren't, it doesn't help, and just causes more problems. Logically, if you hear someone use the word gay in a pejorative manner, then gently, but firmly, correct them. You could say "please don't use that word in that way", or "please don't use that term" or "please pay more attention to your language", you know, things like that. That would be more helpful then misdirected anger, which is not constructive.
