Geezus cheezus, what does it take to qualify as a man these days!?

[AnxietyProne]

Man, and we wonder why boys are so screwed up in the head these days. Have you SEEN what it takes to qualify being a man now?! And this is just a short list too...

-You have to be a firefighter ( https://preview.redd.it/wfs1n21zhvp...bp&s=4bf34d946e959107da125c0daaa88384ca5d55ce )
-You are not allowed to use a mirror ( https://preview.redd.it/cmkguqrj0tp...bp&s=f712276508d851801f65995ac53048a261390d4b )
-You better have a beard! ( https://preview.redd.it/5be1pcqrbtp...bp&s=1cdd6d5acb975d2a62beb87c63c9cbb5bddcc7a7 )
-You are not allowed to be blonde ( https://i.redd.it/5d3vucq52ip71.jpg )
-Better have a bench lift of at least 315lbs ( https://preview.redd.it/kgd58fttz9p...bp&s=cb1114624641c6d744df9067d61ca521879bb75a )
-No cereal eating ((again, fucking black women...)) ( https://preview.redd.it/xv0si91dqun...bp&s=25be0232cc8a56811a8ce19ce1b6b413d9a6be2a )
-Watch your punctuation too, exclamation points not allowed ( https://preview.redd.it/qgbawo4242o...bp&s=2507c80ecf8cce00ce4b10c49b02596c18754327 )
-No seafood allowed ( https://preview.redd.it/yjznentvmhm...bp&s=4633ab65a6d1b4d01e4f0d318ba253efb34178ef )
-Just a reminder; if you have no beard, you're a female ( https://i.redd.it/rzil6irg7em71.jpg )
-You better know how to drive manual ( https://i.redd.it/22o3boxcoml71.jpg )

That's the list for now. I will update as new information comes forward.

 

[Dwarvenhobble]

I'm sure people can find links for this stuff it's mostly stuff Jonathan McIntosh and others have said
- Never be aggressive
- Never be competitive
- build fridges in your leisure time, no enjoying Superhero stuff
- No eating meat, that's patriarchal domination
- No drinking milk (see previous)
- No doing landscaping work

 

[Gordon_4]

Man, and we wonder why boys are so screwed up in the head these days. Have you SEEN what it takes to qualify being a man now?! And this is just a short list too...

-You have to be a firefighter ( https://preview.redd.it/wfs1n21zhvp...bp&s=4bf34d946e959107da125c0daaa88384ca5d55ce )
-You are not allowed to use a mirror ( https://preview.redd.it/cmkguqrj0tp...bp&s=f712276508d851801f65995ac53048a261390d4b )
-You better have a beard! ( https://preview.redd.it/5be1pcqrbtp...bp&s=1cdd6d5acb975d2a62beb87c63c9cbb5bddcc7a7 )
-You are not allowed to be blonde ( https://i.redd.it/5d3vucq52ip71.jpg )
-Better have a bench lift of at least 315lbs ( https://preview.redd.it/kgd58fttz9p...bp&s=cb1114624641c6d744df9067d61ca521879bb75a )
-No cereal eating ((again, fucking black women...)) ( https://preview.redd.it/xv0si91dqun...bp&s=25be0232cc8a56811a8ce19ce1b6b413d9a6be2a )
-Watch your punctuation too, exclamation points not allowed ( https://preview.redd.it/qgbawo4242o...bp&s=2507c80ecf8cce00ce4b10c49b02596c18754327 )
-No seafood allowed ( https://preview.redd.it/yjznentvmhm...bp&s=4633ab65a6d1b4d01e4f0d318ba253efb34178ef )
-Just a reminder; if you have no beard, you're a female ( https://i.redd.it/rzil6irg7em71.jpg )
-You better know how to drive manual ( https://i.redd.it/22o3boxcoml71.jpg )

That's the list for now. I will update as new information comes forward.

Heres an irony. James Bond, and I mean old school Ian Fleming novel James Bond, fulfils precisely one of these requirements.

 

[AnxietyProne]

Heres an irony. James Bond, and I mean old school Ian Fleming novel James Bond, fulfils precisely one of these requirements.

Damn, if 007 can't qualify, what chance do I have?!

 

[Hawki]

If you want to be man, you need to assemble a miserable little pile of secrets for starters.

 

[Chimpzy]

Heres an irony. James Bond, and I mean old school Ian Fleming novel James Bond, fulfils precisely one of these requirements.

TIL I'm 3 times manlier than James Bond.

 

[Catfood220]

Really, the only job a man can do is be a fireman? Nothing would ever burn again.

Oh well, just as well I don't care what stupid internet people think anyway.

 

[Chimpzy]

-You have to be a firefighter ( https://preview.redd.it/wfs1n21zhvp...bp&s=4bf34d946e959107da125c0daaa88384ca5d55ce )

Why? Are women who'd write this kind of nonsense telling us they're such walking fire hazards they need a firefighter on call 24/7?

-You are not allowed to use a mirror ( https://preview.redd.it/cmkguqrj0tp...bp&s=f712276508d851801f65995ac53048a261390d4b )

That has a purpose. It's to prevent the men who are dating women who'd write this kind of nonsense from seeing the pain and torment in their own eyes.

-You better have a beard! ( https://preview.redd.it/5be1pcqrbtp...bp&s=1cdd6d5acb975d2a62beb87c63c9cbb5bddcc7a7 )

-Just a reminder; if you have no beard, you're a female ( https://i.redd.it/rzil6irg7em71.jpg )

Considering the rat's nest so many 'bearded' dudes are sporting, I feel like "man with beard" is all too often synonymous with "boy can't groom".

-You are not allowed to be blonde ( https://i.redd.it/5d3vucq52ip71.jpg )

Cool, I hereby decree anything except pink and or blue is not a woman's hair color.

-Better have a bench lift of at least 315lbs ( https://preview.redd.it/kgd58fttz9p...bp&s=cb1114624641c6d744df9067d61ca521879bb75a )

I think this one may actually be a warning for how strong you need to be to be able to carry her across the aisle.

-No cereal eating ((again, fucking black women...)) ( https://preview.redd.it/xv0si91dqun...bp&s=25be0232cc8a56811a8ce19ce1b6b413d9a6be2a )

Damn straight, real men eat avocado toast and wash it down with soy milk

-Watch your punctuation too, exclamation points not allowed ( https://preview.redd.it/qgbawo4242o...bp&s=2507c80ecf8cce00ce4b10c49b02596c18754327 )

-No seafood allowed ( https://preview.redd.it/yjznentvmhm...bp&s=4633ab65a6d1b4d01e4f0d318ba253efb34178ef )

This actually makes sense, cuz the ocean is scary af.

-You better know how to drive manual ( https://i.redd.it/22o3boxcoml71.jpg )

You also need to own a ten second car, drink nothing but Corona, and go on elaborate car-based heists with your famiglia.

 

[Agema]

I think this one may actually be a warning for how strong you need to be to be able to carry her across the aisle.

Dude, 315lbs is more than twice what any of these neanderthals think a woman should weigh.

 

[Chimpzy]

Dude, 315lbs is more than twice what any of these neanderthals think a woman should weigh.

Fair point, that one's actually what dudebro gymrats think all women want. That said, perhaps 315lbs is not always an unrealistic expectation. Despite their obsession with 'aesthetic', I find the real hardcore muscleheads often grossly overestimate their own dating market value, so to speak.

 

[The Rogue Wolf]

I'd say a critical component of "being a man" is not hunting down dumb shit on Reddit just to whine about it.

Dude, 315lbs is more than twice what any of these neanderthals think a woman should weigh.

If not triple. Some people think a woman is "fat" if you can't see her back from her front.

 

[tippy2k2]

To be a man, you must be swift as the coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon, with all the strength of a raging fire and be as mysterious as the dark side of the moon.

 

[XsjadoBlayde]

While I appreciate the manosphere attempting to gatekeep their own misery with playmobile fascism, the option of going "sigma" will always overrule: "do I play by your arbitrary shifting goals, or do I pick the label that says I don't have to give a shit....hmmmmm?"

Anyway seefood can give you mercury poisoning. Been wanting to try that out at some point.

 

[McElroy]

What happened to calling things gay? Is it more passé than this?

 

[JoJo]

Hi, per Nick's stickied thread, please can we ensure that all Current Events threads are based on a link to a reliable news source. Thanks!