Zach, you can keep worshiping MW2, paying $10 to change your gamertag to your favorite MW2-related military division, replying "who cares" whenever I send a message to all my friends on Xbox, and in the meantime, you can go fuck yourself.
That one medic on Alien Swarm, you're a fucktard. Someone takes two or three hits from the weakest alien in the game, and what do you do? Break out your healing beacons and drop ALL OF THEM IN THE SAME SPOT AT THE SAME TIME. At the BEGINNING OF THE FUCKING LEVEL. God damn you, making us fail the mission.
Alexandra, I know we've been going out for almost six months, but I just don't know if I can keep this up. Your dad lets you date but not use your phone, and lives half an hour away from our school. Your mom doesn't let you date, but lets you use your phone and lives five minutes away from my house. Your dad is absolutely psycho, and so are your three toddler siblings at that house. You're sweeter than anybody I've met in a long time, and you are beautiful, no matter what you think, but I just don't know if I can keep going out with you for much longer.
Whew. I seriously needed to say that last one, that's been bugging me for a long time. I don't know if I want to date her anymore, the spark just kind of went out for me. But for her, I'm the perfect boyfriend, and I'm seriously scared about how she'd react.