Getting on with people

[omega 616]

I struggling dealing with people in my own age range, (for the record, I am 25. I would say age range is 27 to 18?) what they talk about and do is just boring to me!

Drinking, partying, holidays, gossip, sport etc just holds no interest to me, I can't get excited about somebody going on holiday. I like talking about science, ideals, politics, I find the tsar bomba awe inspiring (I told a girl in work about it and it was like telling your cat).

I can come on here and talk to you all about it but you guys are scary knowledgeable about stuff. I like to talk about stuff generally and all of you know all the small details and just overwhelm me!

I could spend hours chatting with adults about that stuff but I bring it up to the 18 to 24 year old's in work (I'm on an apprenticeship) and their eyes glass over.

So how do you guys fare? Can you hold a conversation with only people around your own age or is it just adults, are you lucky and can talk to both?

 

[Flutterguy]

Eh, I'm in the same predicament myself and I'm only 22. I've never followed trends or given a damn what was popular so there goes a good 80% of what my contemporaries want to talk about.

Then there's drugs, strippers, sex and all. Hey, I guess we do have similar interests. Except I hate talking about them. Everytime I'm stuck with someone who wants to tell me how much he'd love to shag Suzanne from accounting and continously thrust his sexuality at me I just think "Goddamn is this guy boring. I wish he'd go rub one out in the washroom or something."

As you said mentioning anything of worth like politics or science tends to get weird looks. I've set up a meeting with a few college recruiters, because, well, I just can't take these people anymore

 

[shootthebandit]

I can talk to anyone. I mostly talk about cars, drinking, women and sport. I suppose I probably fall into the category you described but I can also talk about serious stuff when needs be

Science also interests me as do superheroes and other "nerdy" stuff. Not many people are into that stuff so its best to avoid talking about that not through embarrassment but just not to let people lose interest. More often than not you will end up talking about nothing and its amazing how much common ground you have with most people

 

[Chromatic Aberration]

I think it has a lot to do with your environment. It's pretty clear to me that you won't meet many people in apprenticeships who have a strong academic interest in things - at least where I'm at. You are far more likely to find those people in other environments say at university courses, groups or if you do volunteering e.g. politically. Personally, I've met some pretty smart youngsters (18-20) since I restarted doing some proper volunteering for an NGO, for instance. Also, these days, it's like I have a political discussion with the soon-to-be professor in my office every second day so that's that....

Then again, I'm a generally interested person in pretty much everything and have no issues talking about mundane things, too - everything has value and I won't know until I get to have a discussion about it and dissect it properly. For instance talking about ones holidays might give you a picture about some country and what you should visit/avoid if you get there. Plus you always get to know the person you are talking to a little bit better which is by itself a very interesting endeavor.

 

[AnarchistFish]

I talk about different things to different people. My best friends aren't very political but we bond over other things, like music.

I'm into quite a lot of things though. I'd suggest you look in places where you'll find people with similar interests.

 

[Foolery]

22, and I feel I'm in the same boat. A friend invited me out to a bonfire recently, I had to excuse myself and go home after the first hour. All anyone would talk was drinking stories, and sex. Small talk is good and an important social skill to have. It breaks the ice and leads to more interesting discussion. But it would be nice to have conversation with some substance, what's going on in the world, science, history, etc.

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

Why are you having a conversation? Is it to legitimize your views in front of a bunch of randoms, or is it to learn more about your peers and possibly get to know them better afterword?

Face to face interations aren't an Internet forum where you walk in, throw out your opinion, walk out, and maybe come back if someone directly references you and you're alerted to it. There's nothing wrong with talking about something that bores you or you're unfamiliar with, it's having an open mind (and probably being honest that you're clueless) where you can get really interested in a conversation and walk away with knowing something new. Learning more about some excellent people is just a part of it.

And someone was going to post this anyway.

 

[Dimitriov]

Oh, I just lecture my co-workers on etymology and history. What are they gonna do leave work?


No, I'm fairly lucky in that I know at least a few people who share those sorts of interests and are within my age range (I'm 27). Okay, so sometimes I do just lecture people whether they start to get glassy-eyed or not.

But who wouldn't be fascinated by the fact that the words near and next were originally the comparative and superlative forms of the adjective nigh?

 

[Avaholic03]

Sounds to me like OP is hanging out with the wrong people. It's sad you feel the need to generalize based on age range though. Everyone matures and develops their own interests in unique ways. Even if you feel like your interests are more sophisticated, that's not really an excuse to look down on others for what they choose to talk about. Instead, just seek out people who you feel are more interesting to converse with (keeping in mind that online interactions are no less valid than real life interactions).

 

[Phil Burke]

"But it's often said that people who work quietly, behind the scenes, are the most important people."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-O-2v1qBsg&list=PLBD99FF9534AC5C75 -Some guy in this song

For real though, getting on with people is just a matter of finding common ground. If that only happens with older adults then you might want to accept the fact that you have mature interests for your age. As long as you find a few people out there who you like talking too, regardless of their age, you should be fine. And there are definitely other 20-something-year-olds out there who share your interests, too ^.^

 

[King of Asgaard]

19 here, and a similar predicament. The difference being I can fake interest in others mundane waffle quite well, so they don't suspect I don't give two shits about how much [insert female celebrity here] invades their 'wildest' dreams. I have the best conversations with people outside my normal peer group, with one or two exceptions.

 

[Frezz]

I think sex and booze are just things that most of us have some sort of contact with, and they're often reliably funny, so they make easy icebreakers. I'd recommend indulging the small-talk somewhat. It's something I've had to start doing consciously, since it doesn't come naturally to me at all, but it's usually pretty rewarding. I get pretty anxious around strangers, which really adds to this problem, but I've found that just about anyone I can hang around long enough to get into an extended conversation with has some kind of focused interest that they can teach me something about, and they're usually willing to humor an animation history tangent. Sometimes I strike gold and find someone who's into a lot of the same things I am, but even when I don't, I've found there's a surprising amount of crossover between things that might look pretty different at first; say, competitive swimming and playing the trombone.

Seems to me that you get what you give, most people do want to talk about things that are personal or meaningful, but very few are going to open up about those topics to someone who has, purposefully or not, expressed an active disinterest in the people around them. There's a lot of information in the world. If you make the mistake of assuming someone's stupid just because they're ignorant of your favorite parts of it, you're going to miss a lot of what they have to offer.

That doesn't mean I can get into a deep conversation with anyone I meet (I'm socially challenged enough I'm lucky to even start a conversation with anyone I meet without help from an outgoing friend) but I've been able to find at least a few people my age to talk to about physics and philosophy since high school, and I grew up in a cow town in central NY.

 

[FPLOON]

I'm like a lovable oaf! I can get along with ANYONE!! *twitch*

But seriously, even at the "young" age of 21, everyone I talk to [usually] on a daily basis is either older than me and/or are taller than me... I am one of the few people that would literally say the first thing that would pop into their head[footnote]It's usually irrelevant random shit, anyway...[/footnote] and not regret saying that afterwards...

I am just... that... LOVABLE... (Just keep me the hell away from dating advice... and not because I have never dated anyone before, mind you...)

 

[Scarim Coral]

Kinda, I haven't met any other people around my age or less other than my friends (I lived in the middle of nowhere and I ain't the type to go around looking for people to be my friend). I suppose the example I'm gonna used are my work collagues. By all means I get along with them when it come to work but conversation is somewhat iffy.

Sure I can talked to them about the current work situation, weather, local event or something in general but other than that I got nothing. They're don't used the internet as much as I do nor do I watched TV as much as they do. Granted I 'm not suprise by this seeing how they are all older than me.

I suppose this is why I look forward to see this supervisor who something cover the shop for a day (she is from the other store in the next town over) since she is the only one out of work so I can talked to the most (she is similar age to me and she is into anime and video games like me).

 

[Malty Milk Whistle]

Eh, you just talk to them.
17 here and I've managed to get on with pretty much everyone I've ever met, old and young(one or two volatile and noteable exceptions) purely by listening to them and occasionally making a joke or shitty pun.
Your mindset is probably doing more harm than good, as putting people into boxes is a surefire way to either horrifically insult someone or sell them waaaay short. Take a moment to actually listen and learn about someone, does much more good than assuming all they're into is "sex and drinking and gossip" which is almost always flat out wrong.

 

[Colour Scientist]

I'm pretty good at talking to people from most age groups.

I used to be insanely awkward and shy around new people. I still have my moments but I'm definitely better at making small talk and chatting to people than I was. I think it was just an issue of confidence for me. I used to be terrified that people would have a negative opinion of me so I just stayed quiet but now that it doesn't bother me as much, I'm much more comfortable in those kinds of situations.

I've always had a group of friends that are around my age so that's never been an issue for me.

 

[Joccaren]

I can talk to anyone from any sort of age group.

Honestly, I find sports, live action TV shows like GoT and TWD and that, and people's lives in general uninteresting. They bore me to death.

Yet I still manage to talk to these people.

Either you feign interest in what they like, or you find some common grounds to talk. If you're working together, than can become a common interest and you can talk about that.


I probably have it easy though. I'm into gaming, and always have been pretty hardcore into it. I enjoy all types of games from strategy to FPS and everything in between. I swim, and have at least played near every sport out there at some point, even if I'm not interested in them. Everyone I meet considers me a genius, even though I'm not, and I have a lot of knowledge on most subjects, especially science. I enjoy drinking and going to parties, though clubbing is kinda meh it can be fun if you're just the drunk dickhead rather than trying to pick up chicks or that. I'm the kinda guy that has done everything, and is into most things, so I generally find something to talk about with most people. Except model plane builders. Couldn't find something to talk about there. He liked making and flying model planes. And Billiards. And near as I could tell, that was it. I am horribly into neither of them, and whilst not objectionable, I just don't find them that interesting to talk about.

 

[Casual Shinji]

I can generally get along with anyone except kids. So most people over the age of 16.

Or at least, how well a person of my standing in life can get along with others - I'm not good at small talk, since that typically involves talking about your day, your job, your friends, or your relationship, which in my case leaves very little.

If the subject is movies though, I can chew your ear off.

 

[mindfaQ]

While I do know quite a few that are not interested in such stuff, gladly I always had some friends I knew through school or college, that were interested in science etc.

 

[Story]

I used to be like that. At least, I thought I was. It was mostly to ignore Peer Pressure though. While in general I didn't like being pressured what to do anything especially when it went against my morals and since a large amount of people my own age tended to do that I would usually connect more to people who wouldn't, usually someone older. I would have full conversations with teachers and other adults before my own peers. I've grown out of it however, as I found more people of various different age groups with the same interests as me. Now I can talk to all different age groups, even small kids.

I want to say it's not just generally an age thing either. People will have various interest for different reasons. Age is one of them sure, but culture can be another. That was a huge one for me as I grew up in a mostly African-American school. I didn't share the same cultural interests (and neither did my father who raised me, dispute us both being considered black). So that was a big disconnect as well.