Getting on with people

[omega 616]

Sounds to me like OP is hanging out with the wrong people. It's sad you feel the need to generalize based on age range though. Everyone matures and develops their own interests in unique ways. Even if you feel like your interests are more sophisticated, that's not really an excuse to look down on others for what they choose to talk about. Instead, just seek out people who you feel are more interesting to converse with (keeping in mind that online interactions are no less valid than real life interactions).

I am stuck with these people 40 hours a week, I have no choice beyond getting a new job/placement.

I don't think I am looking down on them, I just find sports, holidays and drunk stories boring ... as much as they find my interests boring.

Friends are a different kettle of fish, one of them is a kinda open minded religious person, so I sometimes have good chats with him, about religion, science, politics etc

 

[Avaholic03]

Sounds to me like OP is hanging out with the wrong people. It's sad you feel the need to generalize based on age range though. Everyone matures and develops their own interests in unique ways. Even if you feel like your interests are more sophisticated, that's not really an excuse to look down on others for what they choose to talk about. Instead, just seek out people who you feel are more interesting to converse with (keeping in mind that online interactions are no less valid than real life interactions).

I am stuck with these people 40 hours a week, I have no choice beyond getting a new job/placement.

I don't think I am looking down on them, I just find sports, holidays and drunk stories boring ... as much as they find my interests boring.

Friends are a different kettle of fish, one of them is a kinda open minded religious person, so I sometimes have good chats with him, about religion, science, politics etc

Fair enough. And I can sympathize with that situation at work at least. I've tried to meet a few of my coworkers half way. I'll try to be at least familiar with some of their interests (sports seems to be the easiest subject to keep up on...if you know a few players and relatively how well the teams are doing, you can pretty easily fake an interest). Then, once you're in the conversation, you can try to steer it in a direction that you're more interested in.

Of course, there are a few coworkers that I simply don't get along with, and ultimately the only way I've found to deal with that is keep conversations brief and mundane. How's it going? How's the family? How 'bout that weather? It does feel tedious to have those same conversations over and over, but as far as I can tell that's a huge part of general social interaction. Most people stay at that boring top level rather than getting in depth about any subject.

 

[Eliam_Dar]

Had the same problem when I was younger (now 34), but I realized I was talking to the wrong people (not because they were bad, but we did not share any interest). To actually talk to people who shares the same interests as you, start going out to places you like, doing the things you like, and eventually you'll get in touch with people like you.

 

[Stasisesque]

Why are you having a conversation? Is it to legitimize your views in front of a bunch of randoms, or is it to learn more about your peers and possibly get to know them better afterword?

Face to face interations aren't an Internet forum where you walk in, throw out your opinion, walk out, and maybe come back if someone directly references you and you're alerted to it. There's nothing wrong with talking about something that bores you or you're unfamiliar with, it's having an open mind (and probably being honest that you're clueless) where you can get really interested in a conversation and walk away with knowing something new. Learning more about some excellent people is just a part of it.

This.

Very few people are willing to have in-depth debates with relative strangers in the real world. That in no way means they are incapable of holding conversations, or are in any way unintelligent, it usually means they don't want to get into a debate with a stranger. Is that so very hard to understand? It happens online because we have a nice big shield to hide behind and we can run away if we lose/hear something we dislike/are upset by the turn the conversation has taken.

I'm 28, most of my friends have families now, so most conversations revolve around families. They bore me because I don't have a family of my own and really don't have much to say. This is my problem, not theirs'.

 

[Phasmal]

I'm okay with talking to people of any age.

I also don't really like talking about sport or drinking. So I usually avoid those subjects.
I don't really have anyone outside my gaming friends that I can talk with about my interests, because they are all generally nerdy.

I do like finding someone new who plays games, but half the time they only play sport/racing/COD, so we can't relate much anyway.

I wish I had more people to talk games with IRL, but I don't come across many people who are into the same things.

 

[Isra]

My opinion is you really do need to share common interests with them, you can't just fake a good conversation. If you're not interested in the stuff they like and vice versa, you're not going to be best friends. The truth is that there is no secret to it, you just have to find people who think like you. Don't try to fit in where you don't feel comfortable. Fuck trying to hold conversations with people who aren't interested in anything you actually want to say.

As for the whole party scene, I think a lot less people enjoy it than it seems. Tons of people are just there because 'it's what you do'. For example, I just recently went back to New Orleans and spent some time on Bourbon Street. Drank a lot, went to a lot of pubs, met a lot of people, blah blah, but I think the only time I was really enjoying myself is when I was just walking around the quarter checking out all the old buildings or relaxing and having a conversation with someone outside of that hurricane of noise (I always pay a visit to the graveyards in the garden district, too, the fucking dead people are more interesting than a lot of the living ones).

I like being near the party scene though. As in smoking a joint in a hot tub 100 feet away from it where I can still hear it and smell it in the air. Relaxed. It makes perfect ambiance for me. As soon as I step into the middle of it? Bored as shit and vaguely annoyed by it all, and honestly I think a lot of other people are too. Half of them are just there to pick up and the few that really are having fun are usually messed up on something (besides alcohol).

 

[lacktheknack]

As an increasingly asexual prude, sex stories are just as likely as not to antagonize me outright.

Thankfully, people are open to talking about other things. The trick is to be able to take a genuine interest in ANYTHING. Everyone's got interesting stories to tell, just ask for them and don't think about how much you don't care about the subject. If you try to care, you'll usually succeed.

Sure, you might think that my neighbor's software development job is boring and not worth talking about, but I'd be lying if I said his story about a company he worked with literally recursing itself to death wasn't morbidly funny.

 

[Ambitiousmould]

I only talk to 4 people of my age range (I am 18) because holy shit do the others talk bollocks. I have never had, heard or overheard a conversation from these people that wasn't bitching/gossiping, or about them drinking and being drunk. How the fuck can human beings find so little to do that that is everything in their life worth talking about? I am not well travelled, but I can probably find myself at least 20 different topics of conversation. Ready?

Video games
Films/TV
Science
Politics
Current events
Aviation (Waddington 2014 - and the 10th Waddington International Airshow I've been to - here I come!)
History
Comedy
Comics
Grammar
Food (you may think it mundane, but something as important as this can have some genuinely interesting and useful points. An example, gravy on a chicken sandwich, yea or nay?)
Small talk
Literature
Social life (or lack thereof)
My/other people's day (note: NOT last time they were drunk)
Travel and other places
Random interesting shit (for instance, did you know that there is a cave into which a river flows, but no one knows where it comes out?)
Technology
Life plans (not that they'll ever go as planned)
Art (usually the kind you find on the internet. No, not THAT kind, the good kind, like awesome paintings of fantasy worlds and stuff).

I think that's 20. And that doesn't even include all of the random arse shit I talk about with those 4 people, usually while playing video games.

 

[Mossberg Shotty]

I'm 19 and I can't help but relate to what you're saying. I moved to a new city about three months ago and I just don't seem to have anything in common with the people here who are in my age group. I'm attractive and I don't lack social graces but I just can't seem to connect with many people. They're interested in beer bongs and orgies, whereas I would prefer a nice chardonnay an evening of reading horror stories. It's difficult finding common ground with people you're forced to socialize with, so I mostly just keep to myself, aside from a few romantic prospects.

I guess it's nice to know it's not just me. Anyways, you've given me some solid advice before and you seem like a happenin' kinda guy so I would tell you just to expand your horizons. There's no guarantee you're going to mesh with people you have to be around (coworkers, family, etc.) but you might find a group of like-minded people you can choose to spend your free time with.

I should probably take my own advice here.

 

[michael87cn]

If you listen to people, they will eventually let you talk about whatever you want. But finding someone thats interested in the same things as you, if those things are abstract, or rare, is hard to come by.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Me holding a conversation at work:

"So, how bout those Canucks..."

"How was the concert you saw? You know, with the band?"

"Nice weather huh?"

...

Off a film set, people my own age seem to be a different species. I miss my gaming friends from Saskatchewan. :/

 

[Artina89]

I'm 25 and I generally keep myself to myself, often preferring my own company. I do have a small circle of friends who I genuinely like hanging out with, but I don't go for any of the "team bonding exercises" that my work colleagues often plan. They are talking about maybe going go karting one Sunday, but I can't think of anything I would much less rather do on a Sunday, especially because the amount of back stabbing that goes on in my company is staggering. Don't get me wrong, I have tried to get on with them, but I don't want to get involved with the inter lab politics, I just want to show up, do my job to the best of my ability and then go home.