Girl Advice

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Reiper

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Mar 26, 2009
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Hello there!

I am just making this thread to ask a quick question about asking a girl out.

So here is the situation...

To summarize quickly
My roommate sits with two girls in class, one of whom he started dating. He has told me that the other one wanted to meet me. She messaged me on BBM and we have talked a few times, and she seems like a nice girl.
Today is tuesday, we started speaking on saturday and have had roughly 3 five to seven minute conversations on bbm.

So my question is, should I ask her out, and how should I do it. I am a bit of an introvert, so despite being in my early twenties I am not the best at asking people out. Like, what should I say, and where do you think we go / do?

now obviously I would be asking over bbm, so it is easier than in person, but still!
 

PunkyMcGee

A Clever Title
Apr 5, 2010
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ask her out. but don't think of it as a date but more as two people hanging out.

do what's comfortable. don't force yourself too much stress.
 

CthulhuMessiah

New member
Apr 28, 2011
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I would. What is the worst thing that would happen? You would either:

A) Get a date
B) Get denied (no one goes through their entire dating career without one fail, unless they meet Mr/Mrs right the first try)
 

Lilani

Sometimes known as CaitieLou
May 27, 2009
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Whatever you do, do NOT ask her through a text, a facebook message, or any other non-personal or non-face-to-face fashion. I once had a guy ask me if I had plans for Valentine's via text, and I didn't know whether I should feel more affronted or sorry for him.

Try taking her someplace for lunch or dinner, someplace where you two can quietly discuss things in private. It would be very awkward for you to do it in front of her other friends. So I recommend someplace familiar and comfortable to the both of you.

As for what to say...I'm not exactly sure what you should say. The way I got together with my boyfriend was a bit different from usual. We went to lunch together, and I knew he wanted to ask me out, it was just written all over his face. But he was just too shy to say anything. So finally after about an hour, I say "Well, there was another thing I wanted to talk about. I like you, like...a lot." And he teared up a bit, and it was all very sweet. And within 45 minutes my Facebook relationship status was updated :3
 

Reiper

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Mar 26, 2009
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trooper6 said:
Just say something like, "Would you like to grab coffee/lunch sometime?"
simple yet brilliant! However, I fear that without having actually met her that my nerves will fail me and the conversation will turn awkward, especially since shes attractive!
 

mireko

Umbasa
Sep 23, 2010
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Carry a canvas bag full of live crabs. Ask her if she has any questions for them. In this case, it can be beneficial to dress them up in cute little outfits and give them names like "Crabby", "Sir Claws-a-Lot" and "Germaine Cheslock". No matter what the question is (and no matter what the crabs actually answer), say that they've been offended and accuse her of being a communist.

Then get down on one knee and ask for her hand in marriage. It'll work.
 

Slash Dementia

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Apr 6, 2009
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Champthrax said:
trooper6 said:
Just say something like, "Would you like to grab coffee/lunch sometime?"
simple yet brilliant! However, I fear that without having actually met her that my nerves will fail me and the conversation will turn awkward, especially since shes attractive!
If the conversation turns awkward and starts getting silent, say: "Oh--I'm sorry, I was entranced by your beauty." (Kidding)

Seriously, don't over-think what you're going to say. Conversation will come naturally once you both get a little comfortable with each other. You'll do fine--the worse that could happen is that she doesn't like you in the way you might like her. "Plenty of fish in the sea."
 

PunkyMcGee

A Clever Title
Apr 5, 2010
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mireko said:
Carry a canvas bag full of live crabs. Ask her if she has any questions for them. In this case, it can be beneficial to dress them up in cute little outfits and give them names like "Crabby", "Sir Claws-a-Lot" and "Germaine Cheslock". No matter what the question is (and no matter what the crabs actually answer), say that they've been offended and accuse her of being a communist.

Then get down on one knee and ask for her hand in marriage. It'll work.
genius. it's so simple, yet so complex.
 

SaikyoKid

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Sep 1, 2011
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Champthrax said:
trooper6 said:
Just say something like, "Would you like to grab coffee/lunch sometime?"
simple yet brilliant! However, I fear that without having actually met her that my nerves will fail me and the conversation will turn awkward, especially since shes attractive!
Usually the best option turns out to be the easiest option. Something simple like a lunch meeting or something small would be a wonderful way to start things out.

As for conversation pieces, try asking her a lot of questions about herself and see where the conversation goes. Things like her hobbies, her family, what kind of movies she usually goes for. Just whatever comes naturally you can roll with. And if it does go into a bit of a quiet, don't sweat it too much. Sounds like she likes you a bit too so you shouldn't worry and just go in with a smile.
 

spartxn

New member
Oct 22, 2011
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Just ask her. Be yourself and be confident. Try not to stutter or act nervous. Girls respond to & like confidence.
 

ckam

Make America Great For Who?
Oct 8, 2008
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Go for some brunch. Chicago or your city has quite a few places that are interesting to eat at. Though, you should go for the restaurants that are like Starbucks or McDonalds. Go to somewhere a little more indie.
 

Lilani

Sometimes known as CaitieLou
May 27, 2009
6,581
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spartxn said:
Just ask her. Be yourself and be confident. Try not to stutter or act nervous. Girls respond to & like confidence.
That is a misconception. What we respond to is authenticity--genuine emotions, not veiled in facades or false fronts. My boyfriend was so shy when he asked me out, I actually had to ask him. It was written all over his face what he wanted to do, plain as day, so I just gave him the little push to get us there.
 

Silverfox99

New member
May 7, 2011
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The girl wants to meet you. All you have to do is set that up. Just be direct. Its not a big deal. I know the hormones start flowing and it can mess up your head, but its still not a big deal. Ask her to meet you somewhere and talk with her. The calmer you are the more relaxed she will be and the better the whole experience will be.
 

Dr Druza

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Sep 24, 2010
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People think there's some unwritten code of relationship laws, and when you break one you get dumped/rejected. There's not. Shes just a regular person (just like you), and unless they're full of themselves, they won't mind some regular, unfiltered, straight up YOU. Just do what you think you should. She might be more nervous about what you'll say that you are. Don't sweat it.

If you don't ask, you don't receive.

Although, I'd prolly try to get to know her better first. You can be friends with a member of the opposite sex without dating...
 

the spud

New member
May 2, 2011
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NO!! Don't throw your life away! Riding it solo is the only way to be! "All men are born free and equal, but if they get married it is their own fault."

[sub][sub]cries in the corner[/sub][/sub]
 

dex-dex

New member
Oct 20, 2009
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Just ask her out for some coffee at a cafe.
She will either say yes or no.
get some confidence the ladies like that.