Girl Problems

[RedxDecember]

I went to a school dance with a close friend of mine. We're like brothers and we've helped each other a lot. We met in ninth grade and we've carpooled since then. We are now both in tenth grade. There was this girl- she's like a nine out of ten in... "hotness" I guess... and she really likes him. They've flirted and almost gone out around five times, and each time I've had to "set them up" just to see them wimp out. Last night at the dance it was different. They kissed. Yay. Fucking finally all this drama bullshit can be over, right? Nope.

I like her. I have since the second quarter of ninth grade. At the dance we got extremely close. I mean like close enough to french kiss her. The excuse was the music was loud, but really, in all honesty she was close enough to suck my neck and she acted like she wanted to. My friend and the girl "pecked" on the lips for like two seconds. She kept telling me how she wanted to be "frenched" while constantly bumping into me when we weren't dancing. My head hurts from all of this. They aren't even going out after the kiss, and they've given me these bullshit answers about how they don't know what they're going to do.

The girl, basically, wants to be the ***** in the relationship. She wants my friend to take control of her. It's weird, but it makes enough sense. My friend thinks that if she wants it so bad she should kiss him. I've tried to help as much as I can, but it hurts so much now that I like her.

Should I be a wild card and go for her? Should I help my bro? Should I just get the fuck out?
I don't know. Any help you could possibly give me?

Thank you for reading.

NOTE: I didn't actually french her or touch her sexually. She was just really, really close. Our lips hit each others ears when we were talking, because of the music, but besides that nothing big went down. We just stared at each other. Alot.

Mod Edit: Due to the nature of this thread, it has been moved to the Advice Forum.
Also, guys, it's from October 2011. Advice now is likely irrelevant.

 

[Leole]

Tell your friend "Hey, we french kissed, what are we going to do about that" and you should definitely NOT do anything with her until you've talked to your bro, or you're risking your friendship needlessly.

 

[Ruwrak]

Bro's before ho's in all cases. Girls come and go, but good friends is that what you need.

Just because two people kiss doesn't mean they are a couple immediatly. There's a delicate process you know. And if she wants to be the more submissive person in the relationship, then kick your friend against the tush and tell him to just go for it and see where it ends.

Then again it is his and her choice to get involved or not. I would strongly suggest to not go for her while he is still engaged with her, it might cause a whole lot of drama that haunts you for the rest of the schoolperiod (hint: Personal experience and the first line of this post)

Tell your friend "Hey, we french kissed, what are we going to do about that" and you should definitely NOT do anything with her until you've talked to your bro, or you're risking your friendship needlessly.

FFFFFF ninja'ed! But very good advice. A whole lot more compact as well..

 

[Catchy Slogan]

Don't be that guy who cheats on your best friend.

 

[Aethren]

Bros before Hoes, always. Girls come and go, but your bros are for life. On that note, tell both of them all of what you just told a world of random strangers. And help your bro grow some balls already, he needs to man up and take her before she finds somebody who will.

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

Tell your friend about it and see if that can spurn him into action. But in all honesty, if he's still not man enough to go for her after that then he has no-one to blame but himself if she ends up with you.

Edit: That or a threesome, never be afraid to just put that one out there

Edit Edit: That said, if you've liked her for so long then maybe you shouldn't have spent so much time and effort trying to get her and your best friend together. Maybe you are the one who should have just gone for it in the first place?

 

[Quaxar]

I believe this is the time to bring up the "advice forum"...

Tell your friend "Hey, we french kissed, what are we going to do about that" and you should definitely NOT do anything with her until you've talked to your bro, or you're risking your friendship needlessly.

For everything else I want to agree with this.

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

I went to a school dance with a close friend of mine. We're like brothers and we've helped each other a lot. We met in ninth grade and we've carpooled since then. We are now both in tenth grade. There was this girl- she's like a nine out of ten in... "hotness" I guess... and she really likes him. They've flirted and almost gone out around five times, and each time I've had to "set them up" just to see them wimp out. Last night at the dance it was different. They kissed. Yay. Fucking finally all this drama bullshit can be over, right? Nope.

I like her. I have since the second quarter of ninth grade. At the dance we got extremely close. I mean like french kiss her close. The excuse was the music was loud, but really, in all honesty she was close enough to suck my neck and she acted like she wanted to. My friend and the girl "pecked" on the lips for like two seconds. She kept telling me how she wanted to be "frenched" while constantly bumping into me when we weren't dancing. My head hurts from all of this. They aren't even going out after the kiss, and they've given me these bullshit answers about how they don't know what they're going to do.

The girl, basically, wants to be the ***** in the relationship. She wants my friend to take control of her. It's weird, but it makes enough sense. My friend thinks that if she wants it so bad she should kiss him. I've tried to help as much as I can, but it hurts so much now that I like her.

Should I be a wild card and go for her? Should I help my bro? Should I just get the fuck out?
I don't know. Any help you could possibly give me?

Thank you for reading.

You can't at this stage dude. Not when you've tried so hard to get them together, and I don't mean it in a 'don't quit now!' way. I mean it in a 'he will hate you and rightly so' way. But I would stop trying and see what happens without you to push them. You've done more than a reasonable amount by now, so just sit back, wait and see. If it goes nowhere through his confusion and inaction, and she makes it clear she wants you more, then maybe you should go for it?

 

[TheKruzdawg]

Talk to your friend first and let him know what happened. If he doesn't go for it, that basically gives you free reign to take action.

 

[Zoomy]

I was in a similar situation once, only the guy and girl had been going out for a while. Ended up stealing her away, and that turned out to be a really bad idea in the long run. But that was just one lady, and the girl in your situation may be perfect.

But if she isn't, then when it all breaks down around you and you need support afterwards, said friend may not be there, and neither will any that decided your action was a betrayal of sorts. It's a risky game. I'd recommend looking elsewhere.

 

[Rawne1980]

As much as I tell people you only live once and to go for gold when they get a chance for something or someone they want I also have friends and, even when i've been a massive bastard, i've never screwed over a friend.

Have a chat with your buddy and see what he's going to do. If he keeps farting around like he is then tell him to grow a pair and make his move if he really likes her.

If nothing comes of it and he moves on then you have all the freedom you want to make your move.

I really have been in a similar situation. 14 years ago I came on leave for a week. 6 month in Northern Ireland and no woman .... I had testicles like watermelons and needed release (I know it's a bit crude and I apologise).

A friend was fliritng around with a lass i'd had a thing for since I was about 12 but they had got close. He wouldn't make a move and she wanted him to but she was flirting with me aswell.

It would have been so easy for me to bed her but I couldn't do that to a friend so I backed off. Had to kick him up the arse to make a move though, he was always shy around women.

Felt better for it a couple of years later, they had got married and now have 2 great kids and i'm a godfather to them. I also have a wonderful wife of my own and 5 amazing kids I love them all. Things could have turned out so differently had I slept with her and, even though I wasn't at the time, i'm glad I didn't when I look back.

 

[Jubbert]

Tell your friend that if he doesn't man up and start gobbling that ***** up, you're gonna devour her like the last french fry in a happy meal.

 

[cthulhumythos]

GENTLEMEN. it is time commence snickering condescendingly. (i jest.)

in partial seriousness- take this advice from a wise old man of the grade directly above yours-

if you don't want drama, cut that shit off here and now, and don't let anyone find the bodies.

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

Don't be that guy who cheats on your best friend.

As far as I know 'cheating' can only occur when there is a relationship involved, and in this case the girl and his best friend seem to be trying pretty hard to put off being in a relationship. If she gets tired of waiting and starts looking else ware then maybe his best friend should take it as a life lesson and grow a pair rather than accuse this guy of cheating.

 

[Jubbert]

As much as I tell people you only live once and to go for gold when they get a chance for something or someone they want I also have friends and, even when i've been a massive bastard, i've never screwed over a friend.

Have a chat with your buddy and see what he's going to do. If he keeps farting around like he is then tell him to grow a pair and make his move if he really likes her.

If nothing comes of it and he moves on then you have all the freedom you want to make your move.

I really have been in a similar situation. 14 years ago I came on leave for a week. 6 month in Northern Ireland and no woman .... I had testicles like watermelons and needed release (I know it's a bit crude and I apologise).

A friend was fliritng around with a lass i'd had a thing for since I was about 12 but they had got close. He wouldn't make a move and she wanted him to but she was flirting with me aswell.

It would have been so easy for me to bed her but I couldn't do that to a friend so I backed off. Had to kick him up the arse to make a move though, he was always shy around women.

Felt better for it a couple of years later, they had got married and now have 2 great kids and i'm a godfather to them. I also have a wonderful wife of my own and 5 amazing kids I love them all. Things could have turned out so differently had I slept with her and, even though I wasn't at the time, i'm glad I didn't when I look back.

Dude, that story is seriously inspiring in a weird way.

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

Tell your friend that if he doesn't man up and start gobbling that ***** up, you're gonna devour her like the last french fry in a happy meal.

Couldn't have put it better myself. This is definitely my post of the week (cue fanfare and presentation of trophy by scantily clad girls)

 

[Ruwrak]

Bros before Hoes, always. Girls come and go, but your bros are for life.

Bro's before ho's in all cases. Girls come and go, but good friends is that what you need.

We're creepy wording that alike. . .
I decided. . . I like you Mahahaha.

 

[emeraldrafael]

<spoiler=If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but a ***** aint one><youtube=LloIp0HMJjc>

OT: if your firend is actually dating her, then I've always followed the bros before hoes rule and let them date them.

Sounds though that she likes to be one of those girls that causes issues and wants men fighitng for her. I personally dont like to get involved with those kinda girls because of course bros before hoes.

...

so I dontk now. I wouldnt if your friend is dating her, and I would actually tell him your feelings for her and what she wants and go from there, but otherwise i'd just leave it alone.