Girlfriend issue

[Sovvolf]

Sorry to tell you matey but long distance relationships rarely work out, there okay for a while until one of the people in the relationship realises that it's just unrealistic and decides to move on in life.

 

[TriggerUnhappy]

What are you doing asking Escapists for an answer to your problems? It's simple, talk to her about it and try to see what's up. It's better to figure out what's going on now rather than worrying and worrying while you're in college.

 

[Anonomnom]

I don't know i'm just in a lot of pain its so hard to understand ive been so frustrated lately and really depressed. I just could use some advice, my friends and family haven't been the biggest help.

Its clear you are suffering from a case of chronic ***** dependency, and this here, is an intervention. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DOvq8FsiUE]

 

[thepj]

Chances are she's found some other d00d at her high school. Girls are so fickle, especially at that age.

Forget about her, go after some of those college wenches instead.

Well were really loyal to each other and we would never cheat on one another so im pretty sure theres not another guy.

bullshit, pretty much all women cheat in one way or another. let her be distant, once you've found some other girl in college then just end it with her and move on. don't act needy, clingy and generaly wussy though in the meantime.

Edit: if it gets to breaking point before this^ then don't hang on till the last minute, break it of yourself and keep your dignity. If she does end it before you don't pine over her, beg her to come back or try and show her your emotional side, these will just make her even less interested

 

[Shoto Koto]

You hear it everywhere man, as much as you might not like it they say long-distance realtionships never work. Either stick with it and try to buck the trand or call it off but stay friends and maybe later on, when she is at college or whereever she goes on to?

 

[The Rockerfly]

Take it from personal experience, it won't work
You can try really hard
but one of yo is going to want physical contact, even just a hug or a kiss
and since they can't get it from you...
You see where I am going, trust me. Break it off at the last minute, tell her how you feel and maybe try and get back when you come back

 

[A Raging Emo]

ouch, i say keep the relationship going untill it just cant work no longer

That's a double-negative. You should have said 'Untill it can work no longer' or 'Untill it can't work any longer'.

OT: I know that everyone else has been saying this, but long-distance relationships never work. Say that you 'Just want to be friends' or some such after you have found a nice girl around about your own age.

 

[Nmil-ek]

Chock it off to experiance, cut her loose go out have a few drinks and brush it off best thing you can do sooner you get a new start the better, what I would not do is fool yourself with "well shes loyal" or be so clingy. Relationships take alot of work and effort and the willpower to devote yourself to someone whos not there for months at a time is a next to mythical thing in most people.

 

[Aur0ra145]

I have one word to say.


CHEAT!!!

 

[GermaniusX]

hmmmmm at a guess i'd say she feels she has to emotionally distance herself from you because you're moving away, presumably in case of a break up. As for advice i guess you could talk to each other about it, about how you feel towards each other etc and see where it leaves you.

 

[Jurassic Rob]

Sounds like you two are grwoing apart. Sorry dude!

 

[AngloDoom]

Honestly, considering half the responses seem to callous or mocking, I wonder why people come to the Escapist of all places for relationship advice; a place where being a dickhead is praised and encouraged, especially if inappropriate.

I personally think that a long-distant relationship is going to be difficult. She may be getting distant to you now simply because she is upset; I don't know her and can't tell. However, just go for it. Try your hardest. If you don't, you'll live in a world of 'what ifs' and regrets which will do a lot more harm than trying and failing.

That's all I can really tell you without knowing more.

 

[henrebotha]

At her age (and yours!), people are unsure of themselves. As a result, they are fickle.

It is likely she found someone else - someone not as far away - who gives her more or less what you do, but without the great distance. Alternatively, it is possible that she knows where your life is going now, and that acting less affectionate will make it easier for you to deal with.

Whatever the case may be, you should accept that this relationship will likely not make it very much further. Like someone else said, if there is great emotional distance and great physical distance, there's pretty much nothing to keep the relationship together.

I've been through exactly this, and I know that it's not easy. However, I promise you that in retrospect, you will see that it was a beautiful relationship, and it had its proper beginning, and its proper end.

And if she really is the one creature in this universe who is meant to be with you, then believe me, it will happen. Just give it some time.

 

[Daveman]

my cousins in the reverse situation to you, her bf is going to college and she is still gonna be in school for years (it's also bad because she lives in hawaii and he's going to San Fran)

she got a puppy.

I don't know what to say to you, I guess move on, if she seems distant maybe the magics gone for her.

 

[quiet_samurai]

Your story is an old one buddy. High School relationships usually, not always, but ususally never make it into the college years. You're going to be apart for long periods of time, and be exposed to other people conastantly. My solution, break up with her, but that doesn't mean you can't still be friends. And trust me, college life blows hogh school life out of the water, jump in fullly.

 

[Haunted Serenity]

Time and distance kill relationships faster then someone cheating excessivly. You are picking a fight with fate. Best of luck but maybe it's time to move on. don't listen to your head or heart, go with the gut instinct.

 

[Spacelord]

Judging from what I've read in your first post, I'd say: that sucks, man. :S

This'll end sooner or later. Best thing to do is tell her how you feel just like how you did in your post, then break it off before she cuckolds you (which seems likely, somehow, but I'm biased, so don't take my word for it).

 

[MalloryHartevelt]

Its not over, your not looseing her and w.e else everyones saying. You see every relationship has two stages honeymoon stage and the actual relationship stage. Honeymoon stage is the begining of every new relationship, its where you both think everything about your partner is magical and perfect in everyway and you just want to drown eachother in love and affection. This can last for a very long time or not depending on the person. When the lovey stage is over its not over but things do change, not nessecarily bad or big changes they are usually small and seem really big to the person mainly noticing the change and that person is usually the one who dosent want to let go of the honeymoon stage. I hope this is clear, im not very good at typing what i think. What you need to do is research a bit into long distance relationships. Text everyday, and call atleast once a day. Be honest and open, but if there are things that may upset the other dont say them.

And about the birthday thing, its no big deal. The next day you are both are free take her out for a special and romantic birthday day. Take her out for a meal, cinema, boatride, kiss in the park, catch fireflys and release them later. Take a poleroid camera too! Take lots of photos then on the day of the party, send her the photos in a homemade book from you attched with flowers and balloons, that way the whole night she will be soo smitten with the great gift from you, all she will be thinking of is you and showing off how much her bf cares and trust me girls love showing off.