Girlfriend problem... I have some questions to ask you (mainly women).

[Argonian alchemist]

So, me and my girlfriend for about 5 years now have had a huge event overshadow both our lives recently, it led to a lot of arguing and so forth. 5 years may not seem like all that much, but I am only 16 myself.

So yeah, I've been with for a large portion of my life. We've known each other since we were four.

She means the world to me and I'd do anything for her. However as I said there's been a large issue, I can't really talk directly about that. However I made a video for her, I'm not all that good with computers, and it was rushed... but, it's all I could think of at the time.

Here's the video:


Now, I know it's hard to give me advice since you don't know what the actual issue is but... Did the video connect? This question is mainly directed at women, if you saw this video? how would it make you feel? Did it bring the right message across? The message mainly being that I really just need her to be a friend more than anything right now and that I need her unconditional understanding?

I know it's hard to answer because of the limited info but, if you have anything to say. Please do, anything would help right now.

Thanks.

 

[Flare Phoenix]

Don't bother guys, the video isn't really anything. It doesn't ask any questions or asks for any advice.

It doesn't matter if the video connected with random people on the internet since, as you said, we don't know what the hell is going on. Ask her how it made her feel. Or better yet, actually talk to her instead of making a video about it...

 

[Instinct Blues]

I'm just going to say this you're only 16 everything that seems like the end of the world isn't always as bad as it seems to be. If you just need her to be there for you and be a friend then tell her that outright no need for the melodramatic video.

 

[Flare Phoenix]

Don't bother guys, the video isn't really anything. It doesn't ask any questions or asks for any advice.

I never said it did... did I? Why do you have to be such ass? "Don't bother guys..." It's not like I'm asking for a treatment for cancer or anything...

I was just looking for advice for girlfriends and relationships overall.

However I just assume your into men or something? nothing wrong with that, but if that's the only response for this thread you could think of, well. yeah...

If you haven't got anything nice to say then don't say anything.

Well the topic title says "girlfriend problem" but nothing in the video or your post brings up any problems you're having except for the incredibly vague "something happened" and here is a video that might possibly have something to do with the problem but since I'm not telling you what the problem is it just comes across as pointless and confusing.

Really?! I call this topic out for bring pointless so that must mean I'm gay?

 

[Javarock]

(Male)
Make me Feel?, I Felt nothing.

Anything else?

Also, The Title was misleading.

 

[II2]

Don't bother guys, the video isn't really anything. It doesn't ask any questions or asks for any advice.

I never said it did... did I? Why do you have to be such ass? "Don't bother guys..." It's not like I'm asking for a treatment for cancer or anything...

I was just looking for advice for girlfriends and relationships overall.

However I just assume your into men or something? nothing wrong with that, but if that's the only response for this thread you could think of, well. yeah...

If you haven't got anything nice to say then don't say anything.

I get the sense you're kinda worked up about stuff, but I don't think Flare P. was trying to be rude, but to the point that your video is kinda hard to "access" and doesn't give people much to work with... Kinda like hearing some other people's inside joke, they'd have to explain a lot of context to connect and even then they probably weren't there in the first place to get the emotional resonance.

_______

What I 'took' from your video is that you've made an earnest, if somewhat protracted and heavy handed presentation of your feelings basically saying, "love you; lets work it out...?".

I think your heart's in the right place, but making public video to her (of her) might make her uncomfortable. It's kinda an overdramatic and overblown gesture and less direct and 'honest' than just having a heart to heart. I'd recommend eighty-sixing the video and just opening a dialog.

Keep the message simple and to the point: "I love you, I hate how things are between us right now, lets work things out between us." - and, if you hurt her somehow, take responsibility for what you did and apologize, or if the situation was reversed, forgive her.

No promises of success, but ^ is a good place to start.

She's cute. Good luck.

 

[Dissolve]

I heard two seconds of Evanescence and muted the video immediately. Sorry, I really can't stand that music. Also, all those quotes are really egregious copypasta. I'd write something original, something from the heart.

Cheers, buddy!

 

[deathlord552]

What is this I don't even?

It hasn't been that long since I was 16 and I know making a silly, little emo video would not have impressed anyone I was dating.

Also from the comments on the video, looks like this has been all sorted out.

I'm not sure what you've even asking other, 'hey how do I talk to my girlfriend?'
To which the answer is, 'face to face like a man about whatever the issue, no pussyfooting or passive aggression because that just makes more problems.'

 

[pppppppppppppppppp]

Um, can you display your affection for her without making a lame slideshow on MovieMaker? If she's your gf of 5 years, why aren't you comfortable talking to her, and more importantly, did you seriously start a "relationship" when you were 11?

Seriously, what's wrong with kids these days, with your crappy female alt bands, and your "non-conformist" scene movement, and your lack of face-to-face social skills, and your constant need to talk about girl problems, and your, uhhhhhhhhh, newfangled iPods.... and whatnot......

 

[Flare Phoenix]

Don't bother guys, the video isn't really anything. It doesn't ask any questions or asks for any advice.

I never said it did... did I? Why do you have to be such ass? "Don't bother guys..." It's not like I'm asking for a treatment for cancer or anything...

I was just looking for advice for girlfriends and relationships overall.

However I just assume your into men or something? nothing wrong with that, but if that's the only response for this thread you could think of, well. yeah...

If you haven't got anything nice to say then don't say anything.

I get the sense you're kinda worked up about stuff, but I don't think Flare P. was trying to be rude, but to the point that your video is kinda hard to "access" and doesn't give people much to work with... Kinda like hearing some other people's inside joke, they'd have to explain a lot of context to connect and even then they probably weren't there in the first place to get the emotional resonance.

Yeah, I wasn't trying to be rude; I was just pointing out that the thread really served no purpose. Whatever problems is going on between him and his girlfriend should be discussed privately and not put up to share on the internet, in my opinion - especially if you're going to be vague about it (i.e. if you're going to ask the internet for advice, actually tell them what is going on).

Even by the sense of "I wanted to see how this video makes you feel" is pointless, because how some random people on the internet feel about it will be entirely different to how she feels about it. Again, we have no context so we have no idea what he is trying to get across.

 

[Loner Jo Jo]

... I don't get it.

I don't know what your problem is right now, but if you truly love her, since you've known her since you were 4 and you've been "together" since you were 11, why can't you talk to her about it? If it's about her, then you definitely need to talk to her. If it's about a friend, and you've been sworn to secrecy, you at least owe her to tell her that. All you have to say is, "I know this has been difficult, but I promised person x I wouldn't tell. I hope you can understand." Simple as that.

About the video, the song is cheesy, it holds no real meaning and the quotes seem insulting if you feel like she isn't being supportive enough. Of course, I'm not her. I'm not a 16 year old girl. Maybe when I was 16 (yes, I am a girl), I would have thought it sweet, and the intention, while misdirected, is nice. Still a video on youtube, especially one that isn't even private < giving her the respect she deserves and talking to her face to face.

 

[Johnny Impact]

Your problem is you can't express yourself.

Your post smacks of cowardice. If you can't muster the courage to tell your issue to random strangers on the Internet, you certainly will never be able to tell someone you care about.

Please understand we have problems of our own and don't really care about your personal crap. We are strangers. Most of us live thousands of miles from you. What are we gonna do, whisper it around in history class? Laugh behind our hands when we see you in the hallways? Get real.

Sound off like you got a pair! Do it to her, if not to us. But stop with the wishy-washy.

Also, "unconditional understanding" is not at all the same as "unconditional acceptance." She may understand without accepting. Careful what you ask for.

Also also, girls are like Ferraris. On the one hand, they look nice and make interesting sounds when you step on the right pedals. On the other hand, they're expensive as hell, full of intricate engineering you can't understand or repair by yourself, and break down often and without warning.

Also also also, you're only sixteen. The world is not ending. I had nasty shit of my own at sixteen, I am thirty-four now. Obviously I survived. You will survive whatever has happened. You will have bigger problems later than what you have now. Most likely you'll survive those too.