Girlfriend.

[Shrix157]

I have been a long time observer of escapist forums and have finally decided to jump on in.

I am seventeen and I've never had a girlfriend (I'll take a moment to wait for the gasps to subside). None of my friends can see any obvious reasons why I have never managed to have one--I have many friends and frequently associate with members of the female variety--but I think I know why. I am a generally passive guy and I've always believed that relationships just 'happen.' Like you run into some girl, start talking, this leads to that, etc. However, I am always stuck with the same group of people... So I was wondering: Is a girlfriend something that needs to be worked at, or does it just happen? I'm inclinded to believe it happens both ways, but when does working at it too hard become creepy? I'm not totally naive, I know things don't 'just happen,' but I think you guys know what I mean.

I figured escapist is one of the most mature forums on teh interwebz so i figured I'd as you guys. Sorry for the long post...

 

[Gxas]

Wish I knew more to tell you than to just wait for the right girl. When you meet her, I think you'll know. Until then, though, enjoy your time being single. I mean, not having to spend money on another person every hallmark holiday has some benefits doesn't it?

 

[WrcklessIntent]

If you do meet a girl you the one thing you do not want to seem as is Creepy. EX. I actually had a friend who went around asking everyone what this girl liked and if she was into anyone but kinda more in a stalkerish way. I don't know how to say it dude. Like the girlfriends that i have had i have just meet through my friends or at parties. I mean dude I'm in highschool just like you the only advice i can give you is go out and MEET the people!

 

[Generator]

Through my whole three relationships, none of them which I've particularly enjoyed and two of them lasting little longer than a week, I've come to realize that things generally don't 'just happen', nice as it would be. I too am a generally passive guy and I constantly see girls who I'd like to try to start a relationship with veer off towards other guys. And through my limited experience I've learned that, while it would be nice for a relationship just to happen, they don't, and you need to take some sort of initiative in making them happen.

 

[lem_is_cool]

Don't panic, it's not something you'd really work at. As you said, it's not you, it's just your stuck in a tight knit group, and soon you're social group is likely to change as you change schools/start work and you can meet different and new people. Don't try and force something that isn't there and it's probably cliché but just relax and wait because if you'll probably meet someone when you least expect it.

 

[Flying Dagger]

I mean dude I'm in highschool just like you the only advice i can give you is go out and MEET the people!

this! except i'm not in high school.
the more people you meet the more chance something will just happen, though i warn you, be careful with who you go for, at the time it may seem any relationship is better then no relationship, but it only takes a short time for you to learn from that mistake. trust me.

 

[Asturiel]

It happens if you want it to happen, just slip by wherever this person is more often slowly. Be more energetic a passive guy doesnt often get the ladies.

 

[TheNumber1Zero]

You could always Become Asexual Try to show levels of interest, if you come across uncaring... well you become me, or I become you, since you're 17 and i'm 16... you get the idea.

Find someone you like, go for it, and if it doesn't work just try again.
Trial and Erorr man.

 

[scnj]

In my experience it doesn't just happen. I missed on many opportunities because I didn't tell the girl how I felt. When you find the right girl, you'll most certainly know, but it's up to you to actually make the first move.

 

[Shrix157]

Damn, apparently i trusted the right people to ask this question. Thanks for the quick and thorough responses. I've always felt that I would just 'know' when i've met the right one, and i thought i did for awhile, I took her to homecoming and stuff... However, a couple months later she was making out w/ another guy (that i know) in public) and she's just not that kind of girl. O, well. i guess i'm just getting frustrated as everyone around me is involved in something... just gotta wait for MORP, not get my hopes up too high encase no1 asks me haha

 

[2012 Wont Happen]

Just ask out a girl that you like.

Do it. Its the only way.

 

[Mcupobob]

I have been a long time observer of escapist forums and have finally decided to jump on in.

I am seventeen and I've never had a girlfriend (I'll take a moment to wait for the gasps to subside). None of my friends can see any obvious reasons why I have never managed to have one--I have many friends and frequently associate with members of the female variety--but I think I know why. I am a generally passive guy and I've always believed that relationships just 'happen.' Like you run into some girl, start talking, this leads to that, etc. However, I am always stuck with the same group of people... So I was wondering: Is a girlfriend something that needs to be worked at, or does it just happen? I'm inclinded to believe it happens both ways, but when does working at it too hard become creepy? I'm not totally naive, I know things don't 'just happen,' but I think you guys know what I mean.

I figured escapist is one of the most mature forums on teh interwebz so i figured I'd as you guys. Sorry for the long post...

Well hello other me, I the same way.. down to the same age creepy. I just wait around for things to clique but latly I've been trying to find a girl I could relate too.

 

[Mushroomfreak111]

17 is not really like superlate, loads of people wait well into their 20's before they find a boyfriend or girlfriend. Of all my friends, only I and one other are/have been in a relationship, and my friends are from 16-19. Don't worry, you'll find the one eventually!^^ (well maybe not THE one, but the first one =P)

 

[Pimppeter2]

I honestly wouldn't know. I chase tail like a dog, and I get a good amount. I dunno, its always been like that for me.

 

[butterkniferampage]

In my experience, (lots of girlfriends, most of them (damn near all of them) broke up with me) working hard to achieve a relationship is never really creepy. It just means you like the girl and you want to be with her. When you find out that she digs you and you get together it makes it all the sweeter. And I think the way to go is to be less passive. Go to the girls!

 

[historybuff]

Being passive does not let a girl know you are interested in her. You will inevitably slip into the "friend zone". If you are interested in a girl, you might want to at least make an effort.

So try to meet some new people--and if you are interested in a girl, be more active about it.

 

[Flying Dagger]

if you are still in high school, stop looking for "the one"
just look for someone you enjoy spending time with, and take it from there.

 

[manaman]

Yes you have to put in some effort. You also can't sit around pretending you are "just friends" when you have feelings for a girl. The only way she is going to truly know how you feel is if you let her.

But you should get that by now as most people have been saying the same thing.

 

[e2density]

I have been a long time observer of escapist forums and have finally decided to jump on in.

I am seventeen and I've never had a girlfriend (I'll take a moment to wait for the gasps to subside). None of my friends can see any obvious reasons why I have never managed to have one--I have many friends and frequently associate with members of the female variety--but I think I know why. I am a generally passive guy and I've always believed that relationships just 'happen.' Like you run into some girl, start talking, this leads to that, etc. However, I am always stuck with the same group of people... So I was wondering: Is a girlfriend something that needs to be worked at, or does it just happen? I'm inclinded to believe it happens both ways, but when does working at it too hard become creepy? I'm not totally naive, I know things don't 'just happen,' but I think you guys know what I mean.

I figured escapist is one of the most mature forums on teh interwebz so i figured I'd as you guys. Sorry for the long post...

I'm similar to you, I don't/never had a girlfriend...and it's not that I don't want one, it may be because you set your standards too high....that's the case with me...