Girlfriends (boyfriends) and getting them.

[PolarBearClub]

Right, first off, this is not a thread full of crafty tips I have shoved down my pants on how to be uber-cool and get a girlfriend (or boyfriend, choose which ever fits for you). What I'm hoping it will be is a collective pool of information about how people got together with their current partners, and maybe impart some helpful wisdom or advice for those still looking.

I guess I started this as I was just reading the thread 'you can have one thing you want, what is it' (not the exact name but you understand) and even on the first page quite a few of the responses were 'a girlfriend'.

So, I have a girlfriend, been going out with her for over 2 and a half years. Yet as far as any average age I'm aware of, I started quite late in terms of kissing/dating, 16. I've had a few girlfriends in between the first one and the most current one, though only one other was a serious long-term relationship.

If I'm reading the other thread right, some people find the whole dating thing, or finding the right girl, quite difficult. Maybe you could fill us in a bit on the exact problem. I'm not particularly attractive, bit chubby at the moment, though to my girlfriend t least I'm quite funny, which is always a plus. I used to get horribly nervous around girls, even my first girlfriend, which was disastrous. However, I've grown quite confident since then, and I think that plays a huge part.

I guess I'll add more later, don't want to go on and on. As I said, I'm not trying to come off as conceited or full of myself, I just want a discussion on some of the problems people face, because overall i don't think 'finding' a girlfriend should be particularly daunting or difficult for anybody.

TL;DR - Dating: problems/experiences with.

 

[inflamessoilwork]

Confidence. Self confidence is the key to many a womens heart.

Not cockiness, or arrogance, but confidence. Walk upright, carry yourself as if you mean something, and while speaking to said person of interest, make eye contact. It shows you're paying attention and are interested in what they have to say.

 

[hyperhammy]

I don't have that much luck but my tip is just to get back up and try again.
I've been rejected by too many girls to count. xD

 

[hyperhammy]

Confidence. Self confidence is the key to many a womens heart.

Not cockiness, or arrogance, but confidence. Walk upright, carry yourself as if you mean something, and while speaking to said person of interest, make eye contact. It shows you're paying attention and are interested in what they have to say.

Great advice and an awesome profile picture!!!

 

[Kurokami]

TL;DR - Dating: problems/experiences with.

I always befriend them, then wait several months before exploring my interest in them, by which point I've crash landed the friend-zone.

Oh wait, how to get them? S***, not a clue, sorry. =/

 

[RatRace123]

Never had much luck, I have a tough time reading girls interests. I probably had a shot at least once, but I'm not sure I recognized it at the time. Oh well, I've kind of given up on getting a girlfriend for the moment. I mean, I'm giving up on actively seeking them out.

College and studies and all that, still if the opportunity presents itself... well, you never know.

 

[alerriixx]

I just told my girlfriend out right just how amazing and what not i thought she was, she dumped her boyfriend to be with me and its now been 2 and a half years, so yeah self confidence and some cajones should help ;D (not intentionally moeaning to be arrogant if i seem it)

 

[Eggsnham]

As the other guy said, confidence is key.

Even the fattest, hairiest and sloppiest looking man (general hygiene is still important, mind you) can get a girlfriend if he has confidence and a good personality.

Confidence is different than being a dick as well. Just hold yourself up and show that you care about yourself and others, don't be obsessive about yourself and others though, that's not a good policy.

There are plenty more tips I could give, but you may also want to check out BonsaiK's relationship thread.

 

[SturmDolch]

Confidence, yeah. If you don't have it, pray that you're like me and in the lack of confidence, appear over-confident. My girlfriend thought I was a player when I asked her out because I seemed confident or something. Also because I'm white, but that's another thing entirely.

Just go ask her out, too. Don't ditty about. Don't be her friend first; be an acquaintance, though. Her answer to "Want to go see a movie?" shouldn't be "Er... I'm sorry, but who are you?"

 

[inflamessoilwork]

Also, if trying to impress people with humor, try to avoid topics such as politics and religion. Try to save things like that for possibly the second date, if obtained.

 

[PolarBearClub]

Never had much luck, I have a tough time reading girls interests. I probably had a shot at least once, but I'm not sure I recognized it at the time. Oh well, I've kind of given up on getting a girlfriend for the moment. I mean, I'm giving up on actively seeking them out.

College and studies and all that, still if the opportunity presents itself... well, you never know.

I think that's one of the things though, the idea that you should 'look for them'. What does it actually mean? Where would you look? If you're thinking of a club or something, not the best place for girlfriend material ladies I think.

Any girlfriends I've had have just kind of happened, without expecting anything. It's only when you realise 'hey, there might be something more to this' that I think you should actively seek something.

Agree with anyone who says confidence. I have a friend who's the type of guy who immediately becomes the centre of any room he's in. He's not loud or obnoxious, he just knows how to chat and isn't afraid of talking to a random stranger the way he would to me or any other close friends. Point is, women just seem to flock to him, and he doesn't even try!

 

[Dags90]

My biggest problem is that it doesn't make rational sense for me to form strong romantic attachments, so I don't do it. I have no idea where I'll go when I finish college; I'd like to wait until I have a stable career path before dating. I've had someone call this "rationalizing", with the intent being that it isn't rational.

 

[xXAsherahXx]

In my experience, it just kind of happens, it isn't particularly necessary to go on a mad search for one. If you like someone and he/she is your friend, eventually you'll find out if they like you as well (after some mental manipulation).

 

[spartan231490]

Hell if I know. Keep asking until someone says yes? Honestly, my problem is that most of the girls I am attracted to are dating someone else.

 

[Ghonzor]

I see what you say about confidence...and yet I completely go against it.
Due to some...events...I'm not the most confident man in the world, and yet my girlfriend still loves me wholeheartedly. I guess the real advice is to be yourself. As much of a cliche as it may be, it's true. You can never hope to have a decent relationship if you're trying to be someone else. A good sense of humor never hurts. And good god was I lucky to find a girl who's okay with me being a bloody nerd.

 

[dicai]

TL;DR - Dating: problems/experiences with.

I always befriend them, then wait several months before exploring my interest in them, by which point I've crash landed the friend-zone.

Oh wait, how to get them? S***, not a clue, sorry. =/

You made my day

Yeah, that happens to me, too. I try to hide my true intentions from them, just befriend them and then, before you realize, it's too late.

 

[theironbat46]

Okay I need some tips. I really like this girl. We are really good friends. We have an entire group of friends around seven people. We go to the movies many times. Maybe even this Saturday.. We have a lot of stuff in common [Comic Books, Jokes, Television, etc.] We have shared lots of awesome moments. That time we all saw Iron Man 2. I sat next to her, we talked the whole time. It felt like a date. The last movie we saw [Eclipse, she liked it I heard The Last Airbender sucked ass.] So all our friends left and we just sat on the bike rack [My parents make me wait till everyone leaves so no one is abducted] and talked. It was great. But she never responds to my text, but she used to in the spring. Also she might have a crush on my best friend. So you have an idea of how much I like her, and my reasons for being so nervous. Should I ask her out at The Other Guys [this Saturday] or Scott Pilgrim [for a romantic tune] ? Or at all? Please advice.

 

[hyperhammy]

Okay I need some tips. I really like this girl. We are really good friends. We have an entire group of friends around seven people. We go to the movies many times. Maybe even this Saturday.. We have a lot of stuff in common [Comic Books, Jokes, Television, etc.] We have shared lots of awesome moments. That time we all saw Iron Man 2. I sat next to her, we talked the whole time. It felt like a date. The last movie we saw [Eclipse, she liked it I heard The Last Airbender sucked ass.] So all our friends left and we just sat on the bike rack [My parents make me wait till everyone leaves so no one is abducted] and talked. It was great. But she never responds to my text, but she used to in the spring. Also she might have a crush on my best friend. So you have an idea of how much I like her, and my reasons for being so nervous. Should I ask her out at The Other Guys [this Saturday] or Scott Pilgrim [for a romantic tune] ? Or at all? Please advice.

I wouldn't take her not replying to your sms to seriously. Maybe she's like most of my friends who never reply to sms.
Has she told you she has a crush on your best friend? If not you could test it by asking your friend to come along and see how she reacts.
Honestly, don't ask her out. Make sure you sit next to her during the next movie and try holding her hand. Worked for me.
Good luck! Even if she doesn't like you back try going out with her best friends. Also a great way to seek revenge.

 

[Free Thinker]

Okay I need some tips. I really like this girl. We are really good friends. We have an entire group of friends around seven people. We go to the movies many times. Maybe even this Saturday.. We have a lot of stuff in common [Comic Books, Jokes, Television, etc.] We have shared lots of awesome moments. That time we all saw Iron Man 2. I sat next to her, we talked the whole time. It felt like a date. The last movie we saw [Eclipse, she liked it I heard The Last Airbender sucked ass.] So all our friends left and we just sat on the bike rack [My parents make me wait till everyone leaves so no one is abducted] and talked. It was great. But she never responds to my text, but she used to in the spring. Also she might have a crush on my best friend. So you have an idea of how much I like her, and my reasons for being so nervous. Should I ask her out at The Other Guys [this Saturday] or Scott Pilgrim [for a romantic tune] ? Or at all? Please advice.

BonsaiK. Relationship Problem thread. He's the guy for this stuff.
OT: 17, single, and never heard a "yes", ever. They either tried to be nice about, which hurts more, or they're a ***** right off the bat. Now I'm just struggling over whether I care or not anymore.

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

So, my policy of being an uncaring asshole probably isn't the best then huh? Damn, it was so fun too.