Ok, the vet clinic "customer's guide".
1. Please keep your pet under control. If you have a dog, your dog should be either in a crate or leash. With cats, your arms are NOT proper restraint. Please put the cat in a crate, box, secure harness, whatever you have. It's hard to grab scared escaped cats, especially if they manage to escape OUTSIDE.
2. Vet care is expensive. In Canada you don't see your medical bills because the government pays for it. OHIP doesn't cover pets, and yes, this shit is expensive. We try to remind you of your bill because we don't want you to be super surprised and angry over a massive bill. We do mark-up stuff because it's expensive to keep things running like rent, x-ray machines, and staff (and the average technician gets $12-$15 PER HOUR). You don't want to be given a discount for being an asshole and we want the path of least resistance. We'll think less of you and may be less willing to give you another one or be more flexible with payments. A bill of $100 is NOT high.
3. If your pet is sick, you should know your options. We're not forcing x-rays, bloodwork, ultrasound, etc, on you. These are OPTIONS. If you want to try antibiotics for now, fine, just say so. However if the problem doesn't get better, it may be necessary. We can't always feel around you pet and tell it ate something bad or has cancer. Same goes for pretty much every other service (heartworm testing, non-core vaccines, etc). I told you your vaccines were this price because you said you wanted the basic package. Don't complain to me when you get both non-core vaccines and it ends up more expensive.
4. Please make an appointment. Don't say "well, can't I just walk in?" because we may not be able to see you. The vet may be in surgery, out for lunch or other things, or we may be busy. If you make a appointment, we'll put you somewhere. If you have some kind of emergency then there's a bit more lenience, but a quick phone call is always preferred when possible.
5. An ear infection is not an emergency. Additionally, it's not an emergency where you need to speak to the vet right when he's in surgery. Please wait 30 fucking minutes please. Yes, this did happen.
6. Please don't call for vet advice yet be absolutely stuck in your ways about NOT seeing the vet (for cost, time, etc).
7. Please tell us everything that happened. Really, it helps. We can't read minds, so give a FULL history, regardless of whether you think it's significant. It'll help us find what's going on. I heard a story of someone working in a clinic where a dog was lethargic. After testing for heart conditions, the owner admitted that the dog was left in a car. Dog died because he didn't get treatment for heatstroke because of something very vital that wasn't shown.
8. Don't be offended if we put a muzzle on your pet. It's for everyone's safety, regardless if your dog is "good" or not. A scared animal does crazy things. If your pet is known to be aggressive or fractious, let us know so we can plan. If you have a muzzle at home, then use it.
9. If your animal needs to wear a cone, PLEASE keep it on. If your pet is having trouble eating then we can figure something out, but don't take it off unless you can genuinely say you can 100% watch our pet. It looks stupid, but most animals are pretty good wearing it and cope. Trust me, it'll cost hundreds if your pet's wound becomes opened or infected (and it most certainly won't be fun for your pet either).
10. And for the love of all that is pure, don't be offended if the vet doesn't want you in the room or holding your animal. Like it or not, animals often behave better without an owner's presence. Most people that work in a vet clinic love animals, so we won't torture your animal while you don't look. The restraint may seem extreme to some people (even some of the more minimal stuff) but it's done for safety for everyone.
