Google Vs. The English

[SonicWaffle]

Okay.

"Spunky carrot."

Nah, it needs some context to it. For example, I was walking to work this morning when some cyclist nearly knocked me over. Bold as brass, riding on the pavement. I yelled that the next time he tried that, I'd kick him so hard in the spunky carrot he'd never ride a bike again.

Their expressions seemed right. I did considering breaking out a picture of Piers Morgan, but that wouldn't be professional.

Dude.

Jermy Kyle?

 

[SonicWaffle]

Is Piers Morgan like your Bill O'Reilly? Insanely hated, but stupidly popular? I never see him mention in a positive light. He must really be a spunky carrot.

As carrots go, he's a pretty spunky on, but I don't think it's fair to call him our Bill O'Reilly. He's not frothing-at-the-mouth insane, just insufferably smug and self-satisfied despite being a c-list (at best) celebrity.

 

[The Wooster]

Their expressions seemed right. I did considering breaking out a picture of Piers Morgan, but that wouldn't be professional.

Dude.

Jermy Kyle?

Is he still around? I'd assumed we'd driven the aggravating shit into the sea by now.

 

[Fudj]

Proud to be english today, i really really am

 

[SonicWaffle]

Their expressions seemed right. I did considering breaking out a picture of Piers Morgan, but that wouldn't be professional.

Dude.

Jermy Kyle?

Is he still around? I'd assumed we'd driven the aggravating shit into the sea by now.

Not only that, but he was given his own quiz show not long back! To be fair to him, he's at least aware of his own reputation - I read an interview where he said he didn't care about being a nasty Anne Robinson style quiz host, because "I'm already the most hated person in the country, so what have I got to lose?"

However I might feel about him personally, I can't deny that his show sometimes brings joy to my heart. It's like they found a way to make Jerry Springer scummier and funnier. Some of my favourites include "Is my step-brother my dad?" and "Our relationship just hasn't been the same since my boyfriend was hit in the head with a hammer". My all-time favourite was a little gem buried in a rant Jeremy was having at some scumbag kid with behaviour problems. Having only tuned in halfway through, I have absolutely no sense of context for the statement, which makes it all the more hilarious;

"You threatened your nan! You smoke drugs! You attacked your sister! You chased a dog!"

 

[Strazdas]

google has many secrets. it used to translate russian word "urod" to beauty, which is exactly opposite. it can roll over.

and there also are such crazyness in its search algorythms (caused by users no less):

Spoiler

 

[BrotherRool]

I'm glad I'm Welsh

 

[OuendanCyrus]

Peep Show. Go watch it now.

Also, the English is awesome =D

 

[Geo Da Sponge]

Ironically the people least likely to be offended by the page are the English themselves; as we tend to use the word particularly liberally. Often in lieu of punctuation, in fact.

The temptation to write out a reply using the word **** instead of every instance of punctuation was so tempting, but I don't want to attract the wrath of the banhammer.

Why, by the way, are you using Mitchell & Webb to represent Englishmen? Are you saying they are typical specimins, or that they're cunts?

Their expressions seemed right. I did considering breaking out a picture of Piers Morgan, but that wouldn't be professional.

Hey, if calling Piers Morgan a **** is good enough for Stephen Fry, it's good enough for you.

 

[Dalek Caan]

Once again, we ride to battle.

For ENGLAND!!

I don't think many people in England will care about this. I think a lot of people in England who use the internet will be on facebook and those who really want to know the definition of being English would rather use a dictionary.

 

[Dascylus]

I think we shoud take back the word ****.
As a british person I can use the word ****... You non-english can't, it's our word.
As in "My cunts and I, drinking our cuppas. We aren't concerned with the filth because we have batons too and we will bust up a **** in our overly-small and poorly insulated house"

And personally I think Mitchelland Webb are great examples of british people.

 

[Palindromemordnilap_v1legacy]

Quick, I need a picture of Vince from Mongrels now!

"Did you just call me a c***?"

 

[Dogstile]

Being English, I think its a rather apt description Its basically a compliment in my family

 

[luvd1]

.... Bloody Nicolas Sarkozy. That guy just has to be a dick.

 

[Elementary - Dear Watson]

I am a proud English Airman, and that makes me smile! The lads are going to love this one!

 

[Me55enger]

Y'see, it?s not that the English don?t care, it?s just that we used to own a sizable portion of the planets landmass.

Imperialist-spawned racism, sexism and bastardidity aside, it?s provided us with an air of security.

So when Johnny Foreigner takes a swing at Britannia, we just smile knowingly. Do what you want, we?re English and proud.

Hence, we laugh.

Good trick though.

 

[Something Amyss]

Why, by the way, are you using Mitchell & Webb to represent Englishmen? Are you saying they are typical specimins, or that they're cunts?

I don't think there's any difference, given this definition I found on Google.

 

[Grouchy Imp_v1legacy]

Quick, I need a picture of Vince from Mongrels now!

"Did you just call me a c***?"

Beat me to it, damn you...

OT - So this is what the taxpayer is paying Alex Salmond to do on a slow day huh?

 

[SonicWaffle]

Why, by the way, are you using Mitchell & Webb to represent Englishmen? Are you saying they are typical specimins, or that they're cunts?

I don't think there's any difference, given this definition I found on Google.

Touche, sir. Touche.

 

[RhombusHatesYou]

I'm glad I'm Welsh

Proud to be a taint?