If the GTA franchise could answer my title, it would sigh and say "GTA IV, you ungrateful pricks."
GTA IV is one of the best games of our time, if not the best. ADHD 12 year olds will whine and cry that it?s too realistic and it?s not fun. At least a few of us can appreciate a true piece of art when we see one.
So, by now, you?ve probably figured out that I am in fact not 12, and am old enough to have enjoyed all of the Grand Theft Auto games in their time of glory. And by now, you?ve probably assumed that this will be a totally biased rant sandwich smothered with mustard in between a poor vocabulary and fan-boyism.
[IMG_inline height="250" width="300" caption="I'd choose this over the rant sandwich any day."]http://hoboken411.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/turning-point-hoboken-sandwich-turkey.JPG[/IMG_inline]
WRONG!
Well, half-wrong?
I have indeed played all of the GTA games, and basked in their unwavering downpour of fun, but I?m not actually pretentious enough to think that GTA 4 is the best thing since sliced bread. I am, however, pretentious enough to make you wait to find out my opinions of GTA 4, so read on!
One of GTA 4?s biggest flaws is one of the first things that you?ll notice about the game, so lets start there.
Shall we?
Driving is an absolute snooze. Like literally. I?ve fallen asleep whilst driving across the islands of Liberty City. Whether that was the rum, exhaustion, or the actual driving, well, I can?t remember. I did fall asleep, though, and any real ?GTA? style driving shouldn?t put you to sleep!
Right GTA 4 haters?
In previous GTA titles, driving was crazy and wild ? it wasn?t entirely out of the ordinary to take a corner too fast and wind up on top of a building, but in GTA 4, everything is way more realistic. Cars just don?t have a ?fun? feeling about them. Not helping the situation is the bland selection of cars. Almost every car in GTA 4 has appeared in other GTA games. You?ve got the Vincent, Pony, Infernus, and other real cars with stupid made up names.
In an attempt to lighten the ?realistic? and ?un-fun? driving, ?Rockstar? added a ?twist? and? what?s that you?re snickering about?
Shut up, I enjoy quotations in my reviews.
[IMG_inline align="right" height="150" width="150" caption="I love you..."]http://www.mysteryshoppersmanual.com/wp-content/images/quotation-marks.jpg[/IMG_inline]
Anyways, to remedy the situation, when you hit something like a light pole, you?ll fly threw the hood of your car onto the streets ahead of you. It?s actually really fun to watch Niko fly threw the air a few times, but after the novelty of it wears off, it?s just plain annoying. Just when things are heating up in a police chase, you?ll hit a street post, and bam, you?re out of your car, defenseless to the police. Thanks, Rockstar!
[IMG_inline align="left" height="150" width="150" caption="No, really, I'm not being sarcastic."]http://www.hip2b2.com/images/uploaded_images/SMILEY%20FACE.GIF[/IMG_inline]
Another negative is also something you?ll notice right out of the gate, or right off the boat in GTA IV?s case ? the graphics. Distances look fan-freakin?-tastic, with heat waves over the screen, and Liberty City?s ominous skyscrapers looming over the world. Upon closer inspection, though, the Graphics are very bland. Textures break up when you get too close; screen tearing is frequent, and etcetera.
Don?t even get me started on the lighting, though. Gray, gritty, and dull were fine for Gears of War ? it matches the game?s personality well. After all, the game takes place on another planet, and the shade of color on that planet could be gray for all we know. GTA 4, however, takes place in Liberty City, a clone of New York, so why the blank is everything gray during the afternoon?!
Really, Rockstar, I?ve been to New York, and I can assure you that the world consists of more than Black and Whiteish gray.
Keeping with the ?Lets fix what was never broken!? mentality, Rockstar decided to change the hand-to-hand combat a bit. Instead of Punches being exchanged by both parties of the fight, you now get to push people!
Yay! Yay for less effective combat!
Thankfully, Rockstar decided they needed to address the biggest problem with past GTA titles, the targeting system.
[IMG_inline caption="Now these are even easier to use - you know, for less civilian casualties."]http://www.webwombat.com.au/games/images/gta-4-preview-1.jpg[/IMG_inline]
You can lock onto enemies the same way you could in the GTAs of yesteryear, but now, flick the right analog stick and you?ll be locked onto the enemy that?s in the direction you flicked. Thing is, when enemies get too close, you?ll loose control of where you can flick the trigger, so essentially, we are back to where we started ? taking control away from the player, which is never good.
Also new to the GTA franchise, you now have the ability to take cover behind anything at all. This really saves the new combat systems from being a total failure. I have no complaints with the cover system, and I actually think that it was more effective than the cover system in Gears of War.
Whaa? But that?s Gears? staple! A great cover system! That may be, but GTA 4 doesn?t limit the actions you can do with this cover system to one button. Now I?m looking at you, epic.
In general, it seems like Rockstar is taking baby steps towards making this a babies? game. And by ?babies?, I mean people who can't handle complex gameplay. This couldn?t be more apparent than in the missions.
At first, I assumed the tutorial style missions were a necessary evil, that would go away after the first few. I was sadly mistaken. Every single mission seems to introduce something new, whether it be a new gun, the internet, racing, and so on, the game seems to find away to make you find something new every time. Because of this, the difficulty of the missions goes WAY down. This is by far the easiest GTA game to date, and this is the basic synopsis of most missions- Receive a call on your cell phone telling you to drive to a destination, kill a target, and then drive back. Granted, GTA does throw in more than a few curve balls, but I have still yet to do a mission more than once.
In GTA: SA, you had the option of having girlfriends, but IV takes this little idea into a full-fledged apocalypse. You now have the option to have ?friends? and girlfriends in the game. However, it isn?t so much an option, as it is ?do this, or we?ll bug the crap out of you for the rest of the game? situation. Take girls out on dates, and take friends to get beers, play darts, or shoot some pool and they will like you more. If you don?t they?ll call you, call you, and call some more. San Andreas handled the option of girlfriends/friends much better than IV, because it was more of a mini-game, than it was distraction from the actual story.
I guess Rockstar thought the friends and girlfriends would add some extra playability after the story was over.
Short answer ? it doesn?t, and the game in general just doesn?t have a lasting appeal.
Long answer ? Because GTA IV went for the realistic approach, causing sandbox mayhem isn?t nearly as fun in IV than as it was in San Andreas, which severely takes away from the overall time you?ll be playing the game. Euphoria physics have a lot to do with this, as even though people will react realistically to you running them over, doesn?t make it more fun. Moreover, the "friends" that you'll get to have aren't very likeable, and frankly, they're very sensitive.
Brucie, for example, is a total meathead that kisses his muscles and generally loves himself too much, yet for some reason, the game thinks he would make a good friend. What's more is that when you don't have a drink with him often enough, he'll call you and start acting very depressed.
Brucie, we get it, you need friends to soothe your ego. I just hate you. No I won't play darts with you, Brucie! I don't like you! Stop calling me!!
[IMG_inline align="left" height="200" width="200" caption="I wonder why I don't like Brucie..."]http://img.qj.net/uploads/articles_module/109745/gta4-brucie-screenshot-01_qjgenth.jpg[/IMG_inline]
I?m getting pretty sick of bashing the greatest game of all time? Whoa! Not quite! You thought you had me there, didn?t you?
Seriously though, GTA 4 does have some good points?
It?s a Grand Theft Auto game, so naturally it has a tremendous soundtrack. The funny talk shows, the country music, the hip-hop, it?s all here. I have a surprising favorite amongst the soundtracks, though.
In San Andreas, CJ was a gangster and thus quite a bit of rap music was included.
Niko, however, is eastern European, so a station playing exclusively eastern European music was included.
Why I like this style of music, I have no idea. I?m not from Europe, nor have I ever been to Europe. God knows that I don?t understand its languages. Maybe it?s something about the way the rapper lady starts counting in German, and then mumbles something that sounds like a curse word, I really don?t know. Chances are, you?ll like the station too, though.
?
?
Lets see? Good points... Good points?
Heh. I?m fresh out of those.
The multiplayer, in theory, would have been a good point. Imagine a GTA death match, team death match, and online races. If you wanna see that, then Rockstar has got you covered, and then some. They also added other game modes like ?Mafia Work? and ?Car Jackings? to appease even the most fickle amongst us. Unfortunately, neither I, nor anyone I know has been able to play any of these game modes with any consistence online, as if to say GTA IV has the worst connection issues of any game I?ve come in contact with for the 360. When in the game, there is also some serious lag issues. So again, if only this woulda worked? It really would have justified the purchase.
[IMG_inline caption="There are more people in this photo than I've seen online while playing GTA 4."]http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2399/2429442389_dca124d0af.jpg[/IMG_inline]
All sarcasm aside, GTA IV does do something better than every other game. Seriously.
The story is brilliant. Absolutely awesome, magnificently superb, and a whole bunch of other generic adjectives describing how terrific it is.
This is my favorite story to ever grace a video game. Without risking giving away too much of the story, here is a basic summary- You play a character named Niko Bellic, an Eastern European immigrant whose cousin lures him to Liberty City with stories of big houses, beautiful women, and fancy cars. Once you arrive in Liberty City you quickly discover that you live in a crappy apartment, and your cousin is a low line taxi driver. That's as far as I'll go, but let it be known that this would definitely be a hit movie if made into one.
We all knew Grand Theft Auto IV would sell, before we knew any of the specifics. It sold, but unlike other games suffering from the contagious disease know as ?hype-syndrome?, GTA IV got terrific reviews. Whether or not it deserves terrific reviews really depends on who?s playing it. Fans of the series probably won?t like it as much as the previous games, whilst newcomers may enjoy it for being what it is.
It?s almost like Rockstar unintentionally switched the genre of GTA, from Free-roaming, stats based action RPG to Gritty, realistic, story-based TPS.
It?s an interesting trade-off, but unfortunately, you can?t make everyone happy.
GTA IV is one of the best games of our time, if not the best. ADHD 12 year olds will whine and cry that it?s too realistic and it?s not fun. At least a few of us can appreciate a true piece of art when we see one.
So, by now, you?ve probably figured out that I am in fact not 12, and am old enough to have enjoyed all of the Grand Theft Auto games in their time of glory. And by now, you?ve probably assumed that this will be a totally biased rant sandwich smothered with mustard in between a poor vocabulary and fan-boyism.
[IMG_inline height="250" width="300" caption="I'd choose this over the rant sandwich any day."]http://hoboken411.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/turning-point-hoboken-sandwich-turkey.JPG[/IMG_inline]
WRONG!
Well, half-wrong?
I have indeed played all of the GTA games, and basked in their unwavering downpour of fun, but I?m not actually pretentious enough to think that GTA 4 is the best thing since sliced bread. I am, however, pretentious enough to make you wait to find out my opinions of GTA 4, so read on!
One of GTA 4?s biggest flaws is one of the first things that you?ll notice about the game, so lets start there.
Shall we?
Driving is an absolute snooze. Like literally. I?ve fallen asleep whilst driving across the islands of Liberty City. Whether that was the rum, exhaustion, or the actual driving, well, I can?t remember. I did fall asleep, though, and any real ?GTA? style driving shouldn?t put you to sleep!
Right GTA 4 haters?
In previous GTA titles, driving was crazy and wild ? it wasn?t entirely out of the ordinary to take a corner too fast and wind up on top of a building, but in GTA 4, everything is way more realistic. Cars just don?t have a ?fun? feeling about them. Not helping the situation is the bland selection of cars. Almost every car in GTA 4 has appeared in other GTA games. You?ve got the Vincent, Pony, Infernus, and other real cars with stupid made up names.
In an attempt to lighten the ?realistic? and ?un-fun? driving, ?Rockstar? added a ?twist? and? what?s that you?re snickering about?
Shut up, I enjoy quotations in my reviews.
[IMG_inline align="right" height="150" width="150" caption="I love you..."]http://www.mysteryshoppersmanual.com/wp-content/images/quotation-marks.jpg[/IMG_inline]
Anyways, to remedy the situation, when you hit something like a light pole, you?ll fly threw the hood of your car onto the streets ahead of you. It?s actually really fun to watch Niko fly threw the air a few times, but after the novelty of it wears off, it?s just plain annoying. Just when things are heating up in a police chase, you?ll hit a street post, and bam, you?re out of your car, defenseless to the police. Thanks, Rockstar!
[IMG_inline align="left" height="150" width="150" caption="No, really, I'm not being sarcastic."]http://www.hip2b2.com/images/uploaded_images/SMILEY%20FACE.GIF[/IMG_inline]
Another negative is also something you?ll notice right out of the gate, or right off the boat in GTA IV?s case ? the graphics. Distances look fan-freakin?-tastic, with heat waves over the screen, and Liberty City?s ominous skyscrapers looming over the world. Upon closer inspection, though, the Graphics are very bland. Textures break up when you get too close; screen tearing is frequent, and etcetera.
Don?t even get me started on the lighting, though. Gray, gritty, and dull were fine for Gears of War ? it matches the game?s personality well. After all, the game takes place on another planet, and the shade of color on that planet could be gray for all we know. GTA 4, however, takes place in Liberty City, a clone of New York, so why the blank is everything gray during the afternoon?!
Really, Rockstar, I?ve been to New York, and I can assure you that the world consists of more than Black and Whiteish gray.
Keeping with the ?Lets fix what was never broken!? mentality, Rockstar decided to change the hand-to-hand combat a bit. Instead of Punches being exchanged by both parties of the fight, you now get to push people!
Yay! Yay for less effective combat!
Thankfully, Rockstar decided they needed to address the biggest problem with past GTA titles, the targeting system.
[IMG_inline caption="Now these are even easier to use - you know, for less civilian casualties."]http://www.webwombat.com.au/games/images/gta-4-preview-1.jpg[/IMG_inline]
You can lock onto enemies the same way you could in the GTAs of yesteryear, but now, flick the right analog stick and you?ll be locked onto the enemy that?s in the direction you flicked. Thing is, when enemies get too close, you?ll loose control of where you can flick the trigger, so essentially, we are back to where we started ? taking control away from the player, which is never good.
Also new to the GTA franchise, you now have the ability to take cover behind anything at all. This really saves the new combat systems from being a total failure. I have no complaints with the cover system, and I actually think that it was more effective than the cover system in Gears of War.
Whaa? But that?s Gears? staple! A great cover system! That may be, but GTA 4 doesn?t limit the actions you can do with this cover system to one button. Now I?m looking at you, epic.
In general, it seems like Rockstar is taking baby steps towards making this a babies? game. And by ?babies?, I mean people who can't handle complex gameplay. This couldn?t be more apparent than in the missions.
At first, I assumed the tutorial style missions were a necessary evil, that would go away after the first few. I was sadly mistaken. Every single mission seems to introduce something new, whether it be a new gun, the internet, racing, and so on, the game seems to find away to make you find something new every time. Because of this, the difficulty of the missions goes WAY down. This is by far the easiest GTA game to date, and this is the basic synopsis of most missions- Receive a call on your cell phone telling you to drive to a destination, kill a target, and then drive back. Granted, GTA does throw in more than a few curve balls, but I have still yet to do a mission more than once.
In GTA: SA, you had the option of having girlfriends, but IV takes this little idea into a full-fledged apocalypse. You now have the option to have ?friends? and girlfriends in the game. However, it isn?t so much an option, as it is ?do this, or we?ll bug the crap out of you for the rest of the game? situation. Take girls out on dates, and take friends to get beers, play darts, or shoot some pool and they will like you more. If you don?t they?ll call you, call you, and call some more. San Andreas handled the option of girlfriends/friends much better than IV, because it was more of a mini-game, than it was distraction from the actual story.
I guess Rockstar thought the friends and girlfriends would add some extra playability after the story was over.
Short answer ? it doesn?t, and the game in general just doesn?t have a lasting appeal.
Long answer ? Because GTA IV went for the realistic approach, causing sandbox mayhem isn?t nearly as fun in IV than as it was in San Andreas, which severely takes away from the overall time you?ll be playing the game. Euphoria physics have a lot to do with this, as even though people will react realistically to you running them over, doesn?t make it more fun. Moreover, the "friends" that you'll get to have aren't very likeable, and frankly, they're very sensitive.
Brucie, for example, is a total meathead that kisses his muscles and generally loves himself too much, yet for some reason, the game thinks he would make a good friend. What's more is that when you don't have a drink with him often enough, he'll call you and start acting very depressed.
Brucie, we get it, you need friends to soothe your ego. I just hate you. No I won't play darts with you, Brucie! I don't like you! Stop calling me!!
[IMG_inline align="left" height="200" width="200" caption="I wonder why I don't like Brucie..."]http://img.qj.net/uploads/articles_module/109745/gta4-brucie-screenshot-01_qjgenth.jpg[/IMG_inline]
I?m getting pretty sick of bashing the greatest game of all time? Whoa! Not quite! You thought you had me there, didn?t you?
Seriously though, GTA 4 does have some good points?
It?s a Grand Theft Auto game, so naturally it has a tremendous soundtrack. The funny talk shows, the country music, the hip-hop, it?s all here. I have a surprising favorite amongst the soundtracks, though.
In San Andreas, CJ was a gangster and thus quite a bit of rap music was included.
Niko, however, is eastern European, so a station playing exclusively eastern European music was included.
Why I like this style of music, I have no idea. I?m not from Europe, nor have I ever been to Europe. God knows that I don?t understand its languages. Maybe it?s something about the way the rapper lady starts counting in German, and then mumbles something that sounds like a curse word, I really don?t know. Chances are, you?ll like the station too, though.
?
?
Lets see? Good points... Good points?
Heh. I?m fresh out of those.
The multiplayer, in theory, would have been a good point. Imagine a GTA death match, team death match, and online races. If you wanna see that, then Rockstar has got you covered, and then some. They also added other game modes like ?Mafia Work? and ?Car Jackings? to appease even the most fickle amongst us. Unfortunately, neither I, nor anyone I know has been able to play any of these game modes with any consistence online, as if to say GTA IV has the worst connection issues of any game I?ve come in contact with for the 360. When in the game, there is also some serious lag issues. So again, if only this woulda worked? It really would have justified the purchase.
[IMG_inline caption="There are more people in this photo than I've seen online while playing GTA 4."]http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2399/2429442389_dca124d0af.jpg[/IMG_inline]
All sarcasm aside, GTA IV does do something better than every other game. Seriously.
The story is brilliant. Absolutely awesome, magnificently superb, and a whole bunch of other generic adjectives describing how terrific it is.
This is my favorite story to ever grace a video game. Without risking giving away too much of the story, here is a basic summary- You play a character named Niko Bellic, an Eastern European immigrant whose cousin lures him to Liberty City with stories of big houses, beautiful women, and fancy cars. Once you arrive in Liberty City you quickly discover that you live in a crappy apartment, and your cousin is a low line taxi driver. That's as far as I'll go, but let it be known that this would definitely be a hit movie if made into one.
We all knew Grand Theft Auto IV would sell, before we knew any of the specifics. It sold, but unlike other games suffering from the contagious disease know as ?hype-syndrome?, GTA IV got terrific reviews. Whether or not it deserves terrific reviews really depends on who?s playing it. Fans of the series probably won?t like it as much as the previous games, whilst newcomers may enjoy it for being what it is.
It?s almost like Rockstar unintentionally switched the genre of GTA, from Free-roaming, stats based action RPG to Gritty, realistic, story-based TPS.
It?s an interesting trade-off, but unfortunately, you can?t make everyone happy.
