Greatest quotes and/or signatures

[Lawyer105]

Post the best quotes and/or signatures you've seen.

A few of my favourites:

I'm pretty disappointed that in the 21st century so much human endeavour and industry is still devoted to ascertaining whose imaginary sky-fairy is best...

-Friends come and go; Epics are BoP.-

The first rule of tanking or healing is to assume the dps is braindead.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well, I have others.

USA Today has come out with a new survey. Apparently, three out of every four people make up 75 percent of the population.

I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.

We are all atheists about most of the gods humanity has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further.

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.

 

[Quoth]

Could be a bit high brow..

"One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics, is that you end up being governed by your inferiors."
- Plato

"I believe life is constantly testing us for our level of commitment, and life's greatest rewards are reserved for those who demonstrate a never-ending commitment to act until they achieve. This level of resolve can move mountains, but it must be constant and consistent." --Anthony Robbins

"Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence" Desiderata, Max Ehrmann

"There are scars which mark the surface of our earth, erosion, deforestation, the squandering of the world's mineral and ocean resources in order to fuel an insatiable consumption," Pope Benedict XVI 17 July '08

 

[DugMachine]

"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!" - Hunter S. Thompson (not the actual quote it's been altered like a billion times I believe.


"Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who only dream by night." Edgar Allan Poe


And of course gotta add some Breaking Bad love


"No, you clearly don't know who you're talking to, so let me clue you in. I am not in danger, Skyler. I AM the danger! A guy opens his door and gets shot and you think that of me? No. I am the one who knocks!" -Walter White

 

[Calibanbutcher]

Upon being shown a flame-thrower in action for the first time.
"It's nice, but where does the bayonett go"
- some marine guy whose name I can not be arsed to look up.

"This might be a bad idea, but we won't know for certain until we tried it" -me

 

[Eleuthera]

"Books are a poor substitute for female companionship, but they're easier to find." - Kvothe, the Wise Man's Fear (By Patrick Rothfuss)

 

[OniaPL]

"If you don't poop your pants once a year, you are not really living."
- Sandy Danto

"If you really wanna turn a guy on when making out, stop making out and suck his dick."
- Poon Sensei

"You have to think of yourself as a house, baby. There's one thing you got to remember; You can't be letting all kinda men go in and out of your house, because then you will be known as the crack house. And you don't want to be the crack house. You also have to remember that every man wants to come inside your house. You'll want to keep the grass cut and keep it clean, because you don't want people passing by and thinking that you have an abandoned house."
- Tiffany Haddish's grandmother

 

[gigastar]

"Before the Wright Brothers invented the aeroplane, anyone who wanted to fly was required to eat two hundred pounds of helium."
- The Facts Core, Portal 2.

"Fools rush in where Angels fear to tread. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LeeroyJenkins]"
- Alexander Pope

Cybermen: Daleks be warned, you have declared war upon the Cybermen.
Daleks: This is not war, this is pest control!
Cybermen: We have five million cybermen. How many are you?
Daleks: Four.
Cybermen: You would destroy the Cybermen with four Daleks?
Daleks: We would destroy the Cybermen with one Dalek! You are superior in only one respect!
Cybermen: What is that?
Daleks: You are better at dying! RAISE COMMUNICATION BARRIER!!!
? The day the Cybermen and Daleks finally meet one another, Doctor Who, "Doomsday"

 

[RJ 17]

There's three types of people in this world: those who can count, and those who can't.

The Dude abides.

Retreating is running away, it's advancing in a backwards direction.

The first thing you need to know about CoD multiplayer is that if there's a green arrow behind you on the map, you're about to get shot from behind by the enemy.

(related to the above, both said by my brother) Green arrows fucking suck.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

A flute with no holes is not a flute. A doughnut with no holes is a danish.

Hello boys and girls, this is your old pal Stinky Wizzle-Teets. This is a song about a whale-NO! This is a song about being happy!

They shall learn to fear The Buttsecks. (in CoD, a friend of mine plays with the clan-tag BtSx and that's his catch phrase)

So I say to the guy "Look pal, your car was turned over when I got here. And as for your wife, she shouldn't have mouthed off like that!" - Homer Simpson

White people love Wayne Brady because he makes Bryant Gumbel look like Malcolm X.

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

Alright, alright. Look. You might have killed the stripper when you stuffed all those dollar bills down her throat...or you might have killed her when you hit her in the back of the head with that bar stool. I don't know, I'm not a doctor. But I can tell you what DIDN'T kill her: smoking. - Peter Griffin

 

[DJ_DEnM]

I sure do love it when we jump to conclusions. It's like playing musical chairs, but without the chairs, so people just kinda end up throwing themselves across the room for no real reason.

 

[Nazulu]

Those are pretty damn good Lawyer, never heard those before.

"War is not about dying for your country, it's about making the other bastard die for his" - General George S. Patton.

"All generalisations are false, including this one" - Mark Twain

"Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry" - Bill Cosby

Yeah, I like the funny ones.

 

[Redratson]

Flashbangs make you cool! (reference for almost all CoD matches when flashbanging is the only way to kill someone)

 

[Old Father Eternity]

To copy from a forum signature
---------------------------------
Rule One in War: If it breathes, make it stop.

Wisdom from; The Old Stalker, "Youthful Reflexes and Blind Luck are NEVER a match for Old Age and Treachery".

Rule Three; Revenge does not care who it eats...as long as it gets fed

War is insanity covered by the illusion of control.

 

[dangoball]

"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity" - Edgar Allan Poe

"The reason I talk to myself is because I?m the only one whose answers I accept." ― George Carlin

"If you think anyone is sane, you just don't know enough about them." - Christopher Moore

"I'll take crazy over stupid any day" - Joss Whedon

"The end is nigh!" - random crazy hobo

Why yes, I do like quotes about crazy.

"All generalisations are false, including this one" - Mark Twain

Argh! My brain!

One more:
"Question everything." - captcha

 

[latiasracer]

"But plans were made to go wrong." - Artyom (Metro 2033)

"Same old story huh, you save the world while sitting waist deep in shit and no one gives a damn." - Miller (Metro 2033, again)


The last one reminded me of Skyrim

 

[Calibanbutcher]

The best weapon against an enemy is another enemy - Nietzsche

There are no good wars, nor is there a bad peace. Benjamin Franklin


There is no instance of a nation benefitting from prolonged warfare.
Sun Tsu

When the rich wage war, it is only the poor that die. Sarte

If I die I want to be buried as a Nazi.
Not that I am one, but that will be one more nazi buried.

 

[Esotera]

Continuing with the programming trend of the OP:

Saying that Java is a good language because it works on all operating systems is like saying anal sex is good because it works on all genders.

And not really a signature/quote, or even particularly intelligent, but this [http://bash.org/?5775] is fucking awesome.