"Growing Up"

[Paragon Fury]

http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-ways-growing-up-changes-way-you-see-video-games/

So this article got me thinking the other day; why is that every time someone mentions things grown-ups need, have or "should" be doing, they don't seem to apply to me, or appeal to me. Its like there is this block that keeps me from giving a damn about things I'm apparently suppose to. I mean, I'm 25 and;

My job isn't going to get much better

I kind have to face the fact that my job isn't going to get much better. I'll likely be stuck making $12 an hour for the rest of my life - jobs are few and far between around here. What professional jobs there are immediately get sucked up by people with way fancier and better degrees than I have. And the kinds of jobs that people like me used to get promoted to either got cut, or shipped off to India/Pakistan/China where the workers work for the daily wage of "If you work we won't beat you", a wage most can't compete against.

"Career Advancement" isn't much of a thing nowadays.

You're supposed to have a girlfriend/planning a family by now

Well, I've never had a girlfriend, and I've only ever been on one date, ever. My job isn't exactly a place to meet someone, nor something terribly interesting. Most (read: all) of my hobbies are personal, alone things, like video games and reading. And I'm on the low-end of the desirability scale; shy, awkward, quiet. Don't make a lot of money. Don't have a car and don't like or want children. Thats....pretty much the lowest of the barrel that one can get before you start getting into people with actual issues (IE: Criminals, attitude problems, ugly, etc.).

You're supposed to worry about things like owning a house!

Yeah well...what if I don't need a house? They're massively expensive to buy, maintain and use. I don't have any need for that kind of room anyway. A small apartment suits me just fine, and costs less.

You should socialize more

The thing is...I could not possibly give less of a damn about things people like to socialize over. I don't care about sports. Or music. Or art. Well, I suppose I care about sports, since League of Legends and Starcraft have made gaming into a sport...but not sports that people actually get together about.

I play video games and read. I maybe go see a movie once or twice a year (this year will likely only be Age of Ultron. Maybe the Water Diviner if it turns out to be good). None of that is very "social". I don't have anything to socialize over - I'd just be that weird guy, not there doing anything. Things I could socialize over are out of my price range; I'll never be able to afford to go Blizzcon or PAX East or E3 or anything like that.

You should go out and do things!
Yeah. Its not like I didn't TRY.

Skiing? Tried that. Was a danger to myself and those around me even after 2 years of lesson and practice. Stopped, 'cause I don't want to be that guy who winds up breaking someone's kid because he shouldn't be on the slopes.

Play an instrument? Tried that too. For years when I was a kid. I was so bad I actually got berated and told to just stop by the music instructor at school.

Volunteer work? Did enough of that to last me a lifetime in high school.

You shouldn't play video games so much. You should do more adult things, like X!

Yeah. Adult things suck. TV isn't that interesting. Adult sports, like golf, tennis etc. aren't that fun to play or watch. Or any of the other things you're probably thinking of listing. But yet, I'll be inundated with articles like this one suggesting that the thing I DO like to do isn't appropriate for adults, likely for the rest of my life.

Joy.

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

It seems to me that the people who say that really don't have a clue as to how other people work.

I mean, I'm almost 30 years old, and I barely have my shit together. Or, at least I'm trying to get all my shit together. I have a lot of shit to herd, let me tell you.

I know for me, it's very hard to get a head in my field and going back to school while trying to have a social life. So, when people say that to me I tell them my schedule, and I ask them to tell where I have time for such things. Fun fact: they can't.

In terms of video games, it's my stress relief, and I'd imagine for most people that play games it is too. I think it's just a generational thing, and some people don't "get" what video games still are. I mean, I know a lot of people who don't play games and still think they're "children's toys".

Everyone I know has an opinion on what being an adult is, but are a little clueless into what that actually means. A lot of "adult" things don't appeal to me either, and I personally don't care if my fellow adults have a problem with it.

I normally tell them at least I don't have a massive mortgage to pay off and bask in their tears.

 

[Saetha]

You know, I may not be twenty five yet, still a few years short of that, but I remember I used to be incredibly concerned with "growing up," especially once I left home and went to college. I'd shy away from talking about my interests, put away all my "nerd" shirts, that sort of thing. But eventually it's like - who the fuck cares? There's only one solid definition of what an adult is, and it's a purely biological one. If you're past puberty, congrats, you're an adult. Outside of that? No real definition. Video games were seen as something little boys played, and now they're mostly recognized as a medium that caters mostly to young adults. Comic books were once for kids, but now they're generally recognized as an obscure but adult-oriented medium. And it's my hope that, with the new generation having been raised on anime and the Disney Renaissance, that animation and cartoons will finally get some recognition as adult things, too.

And it's more than that, too. People are getting married later. People are having children later. People are showing an increasing dissatisfaction with the American economy and job system. I mean, I've heard more than a few theories about how, due to our emphasis on the necessity of a costly college education, a new "life stage" is emerging in our culture, in between dependent teenager and completely independent "adult." It's called the Boomerang generation for a reason - because people are realizing that it's become increasingly difficult to achieve complete independence from one's parents right out of college or high school. Thus a sort of extended childhood is becoming socially acceptable. Decades, maybe even years ago, you'd be a considered a failure for living with your parents out of highschool. Now all you have to say is "college debt," and everyone nods their heads and makes nothing of it.

In short - no one can really tell you what an adult does or does not do, not only does that change from person to person, it changes from era to era. Perhaps, with America seeing a rise in "geek culture," you'll find that your hobbies are more acceptably adult than those of past generations would consider them.

And if not, fuck 'em. They don't define what it means to be an adult. No one does.

 

[Tsukuyomi]

Speaking as someone who's been fighting his way through the same expectations, I understand how you feel. I'm working my way through college, dealing with a job I've had for some time that I now loathe thanks to seeing what an honest-to-god decent job is, single, and living with the folks because hey! Economic crashes are a thing! I also need to loose weight, work on getting a better wardrobe, and make sure the old car I have keeps up until I can afford a new one. Might I also point out I just celebrated my 30th birthday yesterday.

Yeah, I kinda feel pathetic. I didn't know what I wanted to do right out of high-school. Frankly? I just remember thinking that I was finally FREE. I didn't have to have learning shoved down my throat and I could see what this vaunted real world had to offer. Sadly, I couldn't resist college entirely and I half-heartedly took classes, half of which I failed. (The ones I didn't came in handy later on, thank god.)

It's tough, but as I've talked to people, increasingly it seems like a lot of them are either being very nice, or they genuinely don't think that what I'm going through is odd. They insist that 30 isn't old, or that at least I'm mature enough now to handle college and I have work experience that college can't teach. They point out the good sides of what I consider the things I should be and am ashamed about. Like you, OP, I still feel the crush of what I "should" be doing or "should" have done already, despite that people around me just kinda shrug their shoulders, don't judge me, and it really seems like with the exception of people who are widely considered to be assholes....no one cares.

The American Dream isn't what people think it is, or what they want it to be. It's changed and it's continuing to change. Why else are some sections of the country so angry? Their fabled golden era with all it's supposed morals and awesomeness is gone and, deep down, they know there's no way they can return to that. No amount of morals, laws, religion, or anything else can bring back the past. All that clinging onto the past notion of what constitutes success in America does is teach an erroneous message to future generations, who end up like us: miserable and feeling like failures at life because we haven't lived up to standards that, for various reasons, simply can't be achieved or can't be achieved as easily as we'd like or with the resources most of us have available to us at the times when we're supposed to achieve them.

As for being a geek? Yeah. I am. It's a part of who I am. It puts me alone in my classes in college, but I have friends outside of class, and aside from one individual, no one gives a damn. Will I develop more interests that aren't geeky? Probably. It's part of becoming more of a person. In fact I somewhat welcome it. Everyone bangs on about "real life", but I have yet to meet someone who can show me what's so great about it. I'm more than willing to expand my horizons and do different things. It's not that I dislike real life, it's that most peoples' version of real life bores me, particularly when they...don't have hobbies. A friend and I have legitimately asked co-workers "What do you do for fun?" and they either don't have an answer and look like they've never thought about it, or their interests are clubs and drinking. Even the single ones, that seems like all they do. How you can't have more than that I don't know. At least I know I have a narrow range of interests. Other people look down on me and never realize they're just as narrow as I am.

----------------------------------

Point is OP: Don't beat yourself up too much. The rules aren't really the rules, and even if people say those are the rules, they're using an out-of-date rulebook. Keep your options open. Maybe go back to school for something, and no I don't mean Video Game Design or something else ultra-saturated. Find something where you'll be able to find work, but you can also enjoy it. Hell, just finding something, ANYTHING, positive to balance out what you see as the negative aspects of your life can do wonders. Hell, try picking up a Trade. It's manual work, sure, but it's not all that difficult to do and there's enough brain-power required to be not entirely mindless. Plus there's gonna be a TON of demand. In a land where everyone has a power-tie but can't fix their busted toilet, the plumber is king...and he gets paid a king's ransom.

 

[Scarim Coral]

I feel ya OP since I pretty much in a similar situation-

I stuck in a low wage job but I am content that I'm least making some earning since being unemployed for years is the worse. My family on the other hand don't see it that way.

I lived in the middle of nowhere or rather it is far away from the cities and my friend lived miles away and the fact that I'm antisocial so making new friend isn't a easy thing for me to do.

My family think I'm some kind of an outcast even my own brother just cos they have the same mindset on the whole go out and meet new people thing too.

Well ok I admit I do want a girlfriend and raise a family at some point but at this point it's more like a fleeting dream and I fully accept that I going to be "forever alone". I'm just lazy to say that I will leave it to fate if I truely meant to be alone for the rest of my lives (relationship/ romance side).

Also yeah I rather prefer owning a flat more than a house (less maintanance) but that's not going to happened either.


Lastly I think it's unfair to say those life goals (get a good job, own a house and raise a family) are always the same goal everyone should strife for since that goals is not the same difficulty that our parent/ older siberly that we got now thanks to the recession, higher housing prices and relationship is always different to everyone!

 

[Sleepy Sol]

Don't let other people's narrow definitions of what an "adult" should be like or what they should do negatively affect you.

I would type out something longer but I feel like shit and my head fucking hurts.

 

[Robert B. Marks]

To start, in the interests of full disclosure, I am 38 years old, I've been married for about two years now, and as soon as my wife and I manage to get a mortgage and a house, we're going to start having kids.

When I was 25, I felt similar to how you feel. There weren't a lot of jobs to be had, and those few that were out there didn't have a lot of opportunities for advancement. I was single, and I began to fear that living the way I wanted to live (making my living with my pen) would come at a cost of never being able to have a family of my own. The things I wanted, deep down inside, felt very far away (and keep in mind, this is coming from somebody who by the age of 25 was a published author). You might think, "Wait a minute - weren't you running Garwulf's Corner back then?" but here's the thing: I wasn't paid a cent for the original run of Garwulf's Corner.

And, I HATED it when people told me not to worry, and how it will get better. I still hate it when people hand me platitudes instead of actual, workable solutions.

But, you know what? My thirties have been the best decade of my life so far, by a LOT. Somewhere around the age of 33-34 everything just fell into place. My twenties were downright aimless in comparison to my thirties. The way I like to put it is that I still have the youth to do the things I want to do, but I know where all the proverbial landmines are (mainly from having tripped over them in my twenties). Or, put another way, I finally got out of my early career and into my mid-career - I became established, in at least some small way.

I know it doesn't feel that way right now, but it WILL get better. Once you get past 3-5 years of experience in that job you're holding down right now, you suddenly become a lot more desirable to employers, who more often than not care a LOT more about experience than what letters are after your name. Those hobbies you pursue today will help you later, just from the networking alone.

So, my attitude towards it all is to just chase your dreams, have fun, try new things, and pay attention to who you meet along the way. You never know what's going to happen (to give you an idea of just how unpredictable it is, I tried dating sites, online chats, and none of it worked...and then I met my wife at a bus stop during a power failure). And, that Cracked article was more or less on the ball - as your life fills up, the video games really do matter less and less. And the thing is that as that happens, you find that you're really quite okay with it.

 

[jklinders]

Cracked is probably the last place anybody should be looking for life affirming or even half decent advice.

The op-eds that are not poorly thought humorless attempts at humor are just guest spots by more or less random people with an opinion and very often a massive chip on their shoulder. I see more and more people pointing at some op-ed from them as if it's gospel and I just fucking cringe.

Do what works for your individual life. Do right by the people around you and more often than not they will do right by you (exempting idiotic workplace politics, fuck that shit). If you at least attempt to take care of yourself and the people around you, more often than not shit will fall into place. I won't get more specific than that as I am not other people and that shit means different things for different people which is exactly why these type of op-ed pieces are not worth the kilobytes they take op on that site.

I'm close to 40, only getting married for the first time this year, have a crappy job and I'm actually fairly happy with myself. Fuck other people's expectations. it's your life not theirs.

 

[Thaluikhain]

The ideal of growing up is little different from most ideals, in that it's something we are supposed to aspire to (rightly or wrongly), not something we are likely to achieve.

We are supposed to do X, Y and Z to be considered proper adults, but the reasoning behind why those things are chosen is often very obscure.

(OTOH, if I wake up tomorrow and magically have become one of those proper functioning adults, not going to complain. But can I have superpowers as well?)

 

[KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime]

If growing up means giving up my favourite hobbies, getting a house, dating whom ever says society says I should, being forced into social situations that I'll hate, and wearing clothes because they're considered age appropriate... Then screw you, I'm never growing up! I'm going to play my video games, socialize with people who like me for me and not other petty things... And I'm going to wear this cute pink lolita dress that's covered in white lace frills, with a white petticoat, white stockings, and pink maryjane style heels because I think it's an adorable outfit.

On the other hand if growing up means supporting my self, and not having to give a damn what others think, then I'm all for that.

 

[Arnoxthe1]

You will grow up when you learn to stop caring about yourself so much (not saying you do) and start caring about others.

Also,

A real man/woman always does what he/she needs to do. He/she has to go to work? He/she goes to work, no excuses. He/she needs to provide for his/her family? Then he/she does so.

These are the true marks of maturity. Everything else is just so much gravel by the wayside.

 

[Smooth Operator]

There is always some asshole out there who expects you to do shit his way, that never works out, you just make yourself miserable executing everyone else's plans.

Find the shit that works for you, only then will anything seem like progress.

 

[L. Declis]

To start, I believe that everyone should watch this:

The Only Thing I Know:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKBRG_QgEAM

Building a Better Gamer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fXqydQOz2o

It's 25 minutes total and they're both something that every gamer needs to sit down and look at and just think about for a bit. It's something we all need to hear.

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And the kinds of jobs that people like me used to get promoted to either got cut, or shipped off to India/Pakistan/China where the workers work for the daily wage of "If you work we won't beat you", a wage most can't compete against.

There is one thing that is starting to irritate me; this idea that all the Chinese work for peanuts.

Oh, they may well work for peanuts, but you know what else? They also work for 13 hours per day, easily. My game artist friend? He works 8 hours as a university professor teaching art, and then 5 hours at home or in an office doing digital drawings for various companies, and then he is at home, practising or learning more techniques. He's somewhat fluent in English as well. He makes decent money but chooses with live with 4 other artists in a relatively small flat, so he can save up money to send to his family that live in the countryside and work for less than 5 dollars per day.

He isn't even unusual. Almost everyone I know works like a fucking dog here, ever since they're 4 years old, they have a bloody good work ethic, and people are surprised when they beat out the local who half-arses his work for 8 hours from a broken education system and calls it a day for several times the cost. People here leave for the office at 7am and they don't get home until 9pm. That's the reason people are outsourcing here, not just the price.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Just slip this on.

One of the biggest things about growing up is starting to take active care of yourself.

I've always been a bit shitty when it came to dentists, so now I'm making an effort with my teeth and spending a lot of money to get those straight pearly whites that basically every American has.

I've always been a lazy fuck, so now I jog every day I can (assuming pollution is fine) and I sit up straight. I walk to and from work and probably get about 3 hours of light exercise per day.

I've always indulged my hobbies in the past, but I was recently presented with a choice; pay back some debt and buy my way onto a new course with a new qualification, or buy a PSP Vita with a lot of games, or buy the new Warhammer army that just came out since most of my stuff in the U.K. I picked the responsible thing that'll help me long term.

I've always dressed in the lazy gamer way. You know what I mean. T-shirt with a graphic and jeans. Now I am making an effort to wear good clothes. Do I have amazing clothes? Not really. But I have several pairs of really good jeans, several very good shirts, a pair of very good comfortable trainers and a pair of proper dress shoes. I'll be getting a suit in the future. Not loads, but one fitted suit. I have haircuts. I'd love long hair like Jon Snow, but I realise it's unlikely to look good and I have a responsibility to myself to look good. As they say, you should always leave your house looking like you're going to run into the love of your life.

I've always been a bit lazy when it comes to food. Nowadays, I take cooking classes, I prepare most of my food, I try to eat breakfast, lunch AND dinner. I try to eat smaller portions (a good sized portion is what fits into your cupped hands). I use brown sugar and brown bread instead of white.

In regards to drinks, I now make sure to drink 2 litres of water per day. About half of it comes in tea form, but half of it is water from the bottle.

I also try to sleep at 11 every day and get up at 7. Is it working? Kinda. But it will greatly improve my life.

In my opinion, growing up is when you start looking and preparing for the future by making sacrifices now, and realising how your actions affect the long term.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I thought I'd give this a little write-up, as I'm dealing with similar thoughts about growing up.

My job isn't going to get much better

I saw all the immigrants coming to the U.K. stealing my job and so I went to their country to steal theirs. That's a joke, but yeah, in the U.K., I couldn't find any work for several months. Now I'm in China, I pick my hours and I refuse clients with a bad history or don't pay well enough (I get about $30+ per hour in equivalent currency).

I am also studying in a Chinese University and I hope to go to a good uni here and get a degree. I was getting one in the U.K. but I completely buggered it up with depression and kinda fucked myself over. I am taking advantage of the fact they want foreigners and my previously good grades and I'm looking to get an unusual degree from an unusual country which I hope shall help pay off in the future. I've grown up enough now to know I have to tough shit out I don't like, and the fact is that no one is really going to help me so I need to make my own opportunities.

So, I'm learning how to make video games, I'm getting more qualifications (such as Java, Chinese, a Chinese Driving License, a better TEFL, cooking classes) to improve my odds, I'm working out and fixing my teeth so I look better and am more employable, I'm also working on producing content I can sell for money as well as improve my C.V. with some initiative. For the next 5-10 years I'm going to be working like a fucking dog but I feel I have enough chances and opportunities to push ahead. I'll never be a millionaire but I like to think I'll be comfortable.

Basically, once you realise that no one owes you a thing and you're paid according to your market value, it is kinda freeing. You want to be paid more? Make yourself worth more. You are exactly as good as you are both lucky and hard-working, and luck is basically just opportunistic hard work. At least this is what I am learning in China, and from my friends. They work like a dog, but it does pay off in time.

At least that's what I've been learning these past few years.

You're supposed to have a girlfriend and be planning a family

I have met a wonderful girl while I was in the U.K. at uni. She is Chinese and part of the motivation. It's worth pointing this out; moving to China really wasn't so hard. You'd think it'd be damn near impossible, but if you have a reason to go, they won't stop you. It was my dream for so long, I can't figure out why I didn't just damn well do it.

But back to the point, her parents are pressuring her to marry and have a family. She's just about 20 at the moment. We plan to marry a year after she gets back from the U.K. At first I worried so much about how we could afford a massive wedding and a house and everything, but then I realised that she just wants it with me, not a massive one, but one with me. She never asked me for a thing, it just makes me want to give it to her. But much like the China thing above, we shall have a medium one we can afford together and be happy than a massive one that may never happen.

The house? The car? The children? They'll come in time. But we'll work hard at it together. I'm lucky to have met someone so early, but to be fair, I worked very hard to meet her, and we work very hard at our relationship. We phone each other three times daily, we leave text messages (WeChat) all day for the other person to read when we wake up and we make a point to not do anything risky to the relationship (like hang out alone with the opposite gender). Much like my career, we work doggedly hard at it and it's not easy but it's so worth it.

You're supposed to worry about things like owning a house!

Again, she has never asked me for one. But I want to work hard with her and get one together, as she deserves the dream. I want to have a family in our house. I want a garden and a dog. I want to decorate the house during holidays. Have a Christmas dinner with all our friends in the dining room.

Expensive? Hugely. Also, I grew up in a lower class lifestyle and I want my children to be middle class, as I know my fiancee is. I want to improve my lot. It's hard, but I'm not giving up. I can understand those who do, but I refuse to.

You should socialize more

I try to. I used to spend all my time indoors playing games, and while they're fun, I can't help but look at all the time I spent replaying the same thing over and over and think about how I wasted it. Games are fine, but they're sedatary, you don't exercise, you don't improve yourself as a person, you don't generally socialise, you're not improving or creating, it's just... I love video games, but they're not something you should spend all your time on.

Don't get me wrong, I just finished LISA and it was glorious, but out of that or watching Under the Dome by Chai Jeng, which one was the one that is going to make me a better person or help make the world a better place?

In my opinion, being an adult is realising that being selfish and constantly consuming media is not a good life to have, and it's our duty to, as Solid Snake said, pass on our memes, or as Galt said, we have a duty to produce not just consume, or as even Moviebob said; if all you know are videogames, you are a boring person.

 

[R.K. Meades]

Whenever I hear people discuss the matter, 'growing up' sounds like code for taking a knee, and making peace with the fact that your current lot in life is about as good as it's going to get. That isn't the way I'm wired. We get to spend a limited period of time on this rock-- settling for less would feel like the ultimate betrayal.

 

[astrav1]

Are you seriously taking a cracked article seriously AND giving them traffic as well? There is your problem, once you stop going to such shitty sites that try to tell you how to feel, you will find that you are doing better very quickly.

 

[Silence]

To start, I believe that everyone should watch this:

The Only Thing I Know:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKBRG_QgEAM

Building a Better Gamer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fXqydQOz2o

It's 25 minutes total and they're both something that every gamer needs to sit down and look at and just think about for a bit. It's something we all need to hear.

Okay, I started the first video, and I have to say:

It is exactly what you should NOT tell people who play too much games. First of all, many of the people playing too much have dysthymia or depression. If you start saying they wasted their life away ... well, that's what they are thinking in the first place, and what is causing them to get into the vicious circle. They probably have heard "stop playing games, you are wasting your life" all their life.
In the end they will find comfort in the idea that life is meaningless, so why should they stop.

Instead find something what you can bring out of the games into real life. And bring it there. Don't look back at the games.

(Oh, btw, the music in the background is incredibly cringeworthy)

But one part about the video is good, the last minute:
Gaming is, if played in multiplayer, a social experience. Find others like you and do things in and outside the games together.

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About growing up: The argument is a dumb excuse to get people into their "place in society". There are good arguments against wasting your time in any one activity, but "grow up" is not one of them.

 

[L. Declis]

Okay, I started the first video, and I have to say:

It is exactly what you should NOT tell people who play too much games. First of all, many of the people playing too much have dysthymia or depression. If you start saying they wasted their life away ... well, that's what they are thinking in the first place, and what is causing them to get into the vicious circle. They probably have heard "stop playing games, you are wasting your life" all their life.
In the end they will find comfort in the idea that life is meaningless, so why should they stop.

Instead find something what you can bring out of the games into real life. And bring it there. Don't look back at the games.

(Oh, btw, the music in the background is incredibly cringeworthy)

But one part about the video is good, the last minute:
Gaming is, if played in multiplayer, a social experience. Find others like you and do things in and outside the games together.

This idea that all people with depression are fragile; I've had depression. Clinical depression that dropped me on my arse out of uni. I think what he has to say is important, so we shall agree to disagree. I believe that people need to hear the truth. Even James from Extra Credits says that when he had depression, it took him years of wasting his life before he realised what he had wasted, and he had to work hard to correct that. I agree with both of them on this.

Why do I think his video is important? Because it's not someone who doesn't play games saying it, it's someone who is a gamer as much or more than any of us, and he is giving us his point of view. Even if you don't agree with it, it's worth seeing his point of view and considering it. Have you ever avoided something important or picked up bad habits because of video games? If you're a "hardcore gamer", then probably.

 

[Silence]

Okay, I started the first video, and I have to say:

It is exactly what you should NOT tell people who play too much games. First of all, many of the people playing too much have dysthymia or depression. If you start saying they wasted their life away ... well, that's what they are thinking in the first place, and what is causing them to get into the vicious circle. They probably have heard "stop playing games, you are wasting your life" all their life.
In the end they will find comfort in the idea that life is meaningless, so why should they stop.

Instead find something what you can bring out of the games into real life. And bring it there. Don't look back at the games.

(Oh, btw, the music in the background is incredibly cringeworthy)

But one part about the video is good, the last minute:
Gaming is, if played in multiplayer, a social experience. Find others like you and do things in and outside the games together.

This idea that all people with depression are fragile; I've had depression. Clinical depression that dropped me on my arse out of uni. I think what he has to say is important, so we shall agree to disagree. I believe that people need to hear the truth. Even James from Extra Credits says that when he had depression, it took him years of wasting his life before he realised what he had wasted, and he had to work hard to correct that. I agree with both of them on this.

Why do I think his video is important? Because it's not someone who doesn't play games saying it, it's someone who is a gamer as much or more than any of us, and he is giving us his point of view. Even if you don't agree with it, it's worth seeing his point of view and considering it. Have you ever avoided something important or picked up bad habits because of video games? If you're a "hardcore gamer", then probably.

Okay, that's my personal take on it:

I "wasted" my youth with playing WoW. I did have no problems in school, but aside from that, I basically spend all my teenage years thinking about WoW.
After that I had depression and I was thinking I wasted this time. Until I realized that I had not.

Because of personal reasons I would have had really shitty teenage years, if not for the game(s). Having trouble making friends? Oh wait, there are some people talking about Warcraft, I can join them. Feeling bad? Games. I have friends for life because of gaming. I wanted to get really good at a game. I "wasted" one semester on it. Only, I did not waste the time, I now know exactly what you need to do to "git gud", and not only in games. I know when the point is where I need to stop doing everything else and focus on one thing, to get it done (I never did it with the game, I stopped when I realized there was this point). I wanted to make a game, then write a story, influenced by some games. I "wasted" the time. Only I did not. I learned much. About the creative process. About what your own creativity can do to you.

Time is not wasted. Time is used to learn things, it doesn't matter what you do. Even if you think you only learned that you playing games wasted your time: Well, you learned that you can be too obsessed with one thing, that time can fly if you do something for entertainment, that you actually don't care that much about games.

To be fair, different people take different things out of a speech. While I very much hate how the video says what it says, it can help other people. I just think you need a different take on people who are, right now, in dark thoughts. But maybe there are people to which it was never said (my dad said I wasted my time on games often enough), who really learn from the video.

 

[Yan007]

http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-ways-growing-up-changes-way-you-see-video-games/


My job isn't going to get much better

You're supposed to have a girlfriend/planning a family by now

You're supposed to worry about things like owning a house!

You should socialize more

You should go out and do things!

You shouldn't play video games so much. You should do more adult things, like X!

I'm turning 30 in 5 days and I'll address your points as if I were talking to myself at your age. To give you a bit of context, at 25 I:

-Already had an English teaching degree and just started working in China as an ESL teacher because there were no jobs in my field at home.

-The year before I was thrown out of my apt by my girlfriend on XMas eve because I could not afford an Ipad. I was short on money but still doing my best to pay the rent, food, utilities and make sure her 2 year old son never had to do without the essentials.

So at 25 I had a degree, but still failed at everything. I was also in debt.

I came back last year, debt free. I'm going back to university to study mechanical engineering, at 30.

============

Unless you're in a STEM field, chances are your job will never get any better. You can feel better about this if you understand this is the case for the majority of people and you are not alone. On the other hand, if you remain single and don't spend too much, you can end up saving money over the years, something even more difficult to most people nowadays.

Full disclosure about the family thing: I tried. I tried taking care of an ex and her son and was thrown out when my money was gone. I almost had a kid, but my other ex decided to have an abortion instead when I told her I would not give her parents money out of every paycheck I get so they can have a nice retirement. The pregnancy was already at 7 months (but, China, so ya...). Now, I'm MGTOW. I'm not against casual sex, but I want to remain single and not have kids of my own. I won't tell you not to have a family if you want, but always keep in mind that everything you worked for, your children included, can be taken away from you very easily and you will fight a long, costly battle against your ex and the state if she decides she wants to take your kids and money away. More than half of marriages end up in divorce and about 75% of divorces are initiated by women. Even if I concede that the remaining couples are all absolutely happy with their situation, the numbers suck. It's a game I'm not willing to play anymore and I invite you to consider opting out as well, but I'll respect your choice if you still want to have your family because that's a strong drive. Lastly, if you absolutely want a steady girlfriend for the sex, I'd suggest you look for escorts instead and do both you and your potential girlfriends a favor. You'll end up saving money and having better sex in the long run and avoid all the potential drama.

I'd only settle for a house if the payments were lower than renting. Otherwise, don't tie yourself down with a house and be able to move anywhere you want for work and leisure instead.

Socializing is important, but not for its own sake. Find people who like the things you do. Until recently I was almost always working and having fun by myself and I just found a comic book store in the town next to mine and became friends with the people working there and the other regulars. They like to build props and costumes and I'm pretty good at painting furniture to give it a game-ish allure so we share a lot of tips to build stuff.

Going out is overhyped. Most people around you, especially the ones married with kids never really go out much. If you go out for a walk once every couple say then you're already going out more often than the majority of adults.

Doing adult things is doing what you want. Period. Don't let anyone shame you because of your choices. If you decide to remain single, never doubt yourself. If you want to play games, never doubt yourself. Same for cosplay, or reading comics and so on. Consider that at 25 you're not at your peak value yet and your value is still increasing as long as you entertain a hobby or study or work on yourself AND remain in good shape. Observe that men age like wine and women age like milk. When I was 20 most girls my age dated the older guys and now that I'm 30-ish, I'm the one dating the younger girls. I've seen some of my exes recently. They are now in their early 30s and the effects of age are really showing up in force. Frankly, I used to curse how difficult it was to find a date as a younger guy, but I'm delighted to be a man because as I'm getting older my charisma and wealth increases and my girlfriends are always young and beautiful.