Guys are jerks. But girls...?

[gorfias]

Although in that picture that guy comes across as a bit of a stalker, so I don't blame that girl for trying to avoid him

Agreed. Interesting topic, but very bad example.

 

[The Mehster]

Yes, girls can be supreme dicks. But they can get away with it easier than men.
I've never been mistreated by a woman, albeit I've never been in a relationship. I hope I've never mistreated a woman, if I have, I've never meant it.
It's all down to stereotypes. Stereotypes like men think only of sex.

 

[thenumberthirteen]

Leaving stories of my Ex out of it.Thursday night I was out with my best friend, her boyfriend, and her friend for drinks(ok far too many uses of the word friend).

My BFF felt ill, and her BF (this isn't really helping) went home leaving me with her friend who I only slightly know. So we went out to a different bar and had a drink. I went to get another round, and when I came back she'd gone without saying anything or telling me she was going. I hanged about for a good while, and then left.

I couldn't get in touch with her and I worried something may have happened to her. No. Just turns out she was a ***** and just went home. If there's one thing I can't stand is a lack of common courtesy. It would have taken 5 seconds to say "I'm going now", but no.

 

[JoJo]

Sure, assholes can be either gender but eh... that girl in the FaceBook comment doesn't sound like that much of a jerk, sounds more like "Toby" is a creepy stalker. If you ask someone out and they aren't interested, then you back off and look else-where, following them around and showering gifts onto them isn't going to suddenly make them like you.

you may or may not have gotten a whole bunch of comments on this so i apologize but i feel the need to point out the fact she didn't tell him to back off (if she was uncomfortable and didn't like it she would have told him to stop not just keep taking the gifts) he was basically nice to her and she just kinda took advantage of him so maybe he is a creeper but if that was the case she shoulda told him off earlier that would have been the unjerkish way instead of taking all the stuff

I have been quoted a bazillion times so far, but not exactly with the comment you've made. As a counter-point I'd make, she did refuse to help for the project, throw away all three of his valentine cards and give away the rose he gave her, plus standing him up for the concert dance. If those aren't signs to back off, I don't know what are (and considering this is just HIS side of the story, she may well have told him to back off). She only took advantage of him once, by accepting the tickets, which I can kinda understand since by then he had been after her for three whole years.

 

[GigaHz]

He may have not taken a hint, but if her immature behavior and avoidance of simply outright telling him to fuck off don't scream mean-spirited ***** I don't know what does. This is coming from a female, by the way. Guys can be thick, but she outright and unapologetically used him for her own personal gain, never TELLING him to stop. She just reaped the benefits and ran, every single time. The accepting of the gifts was a positive sign, and then she followed them up with negative signs. How can you blame him for not knowing what to do with the mixed signals? He never got an outright no, so he had no reason to stop.

But the signals aren't mixed.

In every scenario, it is obvious that she doesn't like him. The problem is the guy goes overboard, as in he is forcing her to come around and like him despite her feelings. If I were in her shoes, I wouldn't stand for it one bit. Because that scenario is read from the guys perspective, who's to say that she didn't tell him to fuck off at one point? It is possible that in the guy's obsession, it never fully registered.

I'm not denying that she used him, but I am denying that we should feel sympathy for the guy. It would be completely different if she showed signs that she actually liked him and then eventually lead him astray, but she never showed signs once. So, I do blame him. I blame him on several counts. She's not winning a nobel peace prize for taking advantage of an easy target but he is definitely not a saint.

 

[GigaHz]

Umm, first of all, he accepted the consequences of his own actions after each bad decision. He didn't go on Facebook and complain that girls were ruining his life after each time she hurt him. In fact, the only reason he DID post that at all was to offer a counterexample to her comment. He even admitted that guys can be dicks with his post.

Basically, he accepted the consequences of his own actions like any adult should. She, on the other hand, blamed her problems on guys without even backing up her claims.

Accepted the consequences? I call BS.

It's possible that he didn't go on Facebook every time because Facebook has only been popular for a few years. Not that it matters if he would, but there are a lot of other factors at play.

If he truly accepted the consequences, why did he continue to try and woo her into submission despite overwhelming evidence that she doesn't have any interest in him? Why does he continue to hound her Facebook looking for a golden opportunity to make her look bad? I'm sorry, but if the guy isn't full out stupid, he is a creeper or at the very least immature.

It's not like she said something terrible anyway. "I'm so sick of boys being such dicks". Completely valid thought and status. Would I be in the wrong if I had a bad day and had a status update that said "I'm so sick of girls being such bitches"? I know I wouldn't want to have a stalker who tried to get in my pants respond to my post to vilify me. And I sure as hell wouldn't want one of those politically correct jerks demand that I change my '*****' statement to 'people' or 'girls'. I really don't give a crap if guys are bitches or dicks or whatever, I am not trying to hook up with them so their actions don't affect me as much.

In reality, the dude probably became her friend and held on to these golden nuggets of information without confronting her about it. Instead of getting the courage to do so, he waits for a moment when she is somewhat vulnerable and proceeds to make her look bad. I know I wouldn't want someone like that as my friend. And what's more, you're trying to label him as an adult. I'm sorry, but adults have more respect than to defame someone publicly. They are both children and they will both continue to act like children until they each receive a well deserved kick in the ass from life.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

...are bitches. Its just the nature of people: we're all asswipes.

 

[DanDeFool]

"IN YEAR 10 I BROKE INTO YOUR ROOM AND STOLE SOME HAIR FROM YOUR BRUSH SO I COULD PUT IT IN MY SHRINE AND YOU CALLED THE POLICE OMG WHY U SUCH A *****"

Anyway.. to be honest, not really. There are always assholes, of course, but on the whole I've run into far more obnoxious/dickish men.

It's probably because you're a woman.

No, don't hit the reply button and start banging away at your keyboard in disgust. I'm not feigning misogyny for lulz, I'm just making a point about the way men's minds work.

If you're a woman, men will usually think one of two ways when they see you, depending on their mindset.

The Nice-Guy mindset usually goes, "Oh, there's a woman. I don't want to bother her, so I'll just leave her alone or delay interacting until I absolutely have to."

The Jerk mindset goes, "Oh, there's a woman. I'm going to roll up to her and start running my game (or whatever else he has in mind), regardless of whether or not it's bothering her, and I'm going to be persistent, especially if she goes out of her way to make it clear that she doesn't want me around."

Maybe that doesn't cover all of the interactions you've had where men have been dicks, but my point is that the reason you run into more dickish/asshole men is because the nice men are usually too worried about bothering you/offending you/looking like jerks/getting rejected/being accused of sexual harassment/etc. to try interacting with you in the first place.

 

[ishist]

There is a subtle difference. Some guys can be dicks whereas all girls are EVIL (with all caps).

Even the wife I've been happily married to for 15 years is EVIL.

 

[Gothtasical]

Sure, assholes can be either gender but eh... that girl in the FaceBook comment doesn't sound like that much of a jerk, sounds more like "Toby" is a creepy stalker. If you ask someone out and they aren't interested, then you back off and look else-where, following them around and showering gifts onto them isn't going to suddenly make them like you.

you may or may not have gotten a whole bunch of comments on this so i apologize but i feel the need to point out the fact she didn't tell him to back off (if she was uncomfortable and didn't like it she would have told him to stop not just keep taking the gifts) he was basically nice to her and she just kinda took advantage of him so maybe he is a creeper but if that was the case she shoulda told him off earlier that would have been the unjerkish way instead of taking all the stuff

I have been quoted a bazillion times so far, but not exactly with the comment you've made. As a counter-point I'd make, she did refuse to help for the project, throw away all three of his valentine cards and give away the rose he gave her, plus standing him up for the concert dance. If those aren't signs to back off, I don't know what are (and considering this is just HIS side of the story, she may well have told him to back off). She only took advantage of him once, by accepting the tickets, which I can kinda understand since by then he had been after her for three whole years.

See this confuses me because it doesn't necassarly say that he asked her to be his partner he says to come around which could be to be his partner or to ya know help with some work. As well as i never said he wasn't stupid and couldn't take a hint because honestly idk why anyone would put up with that. However i do have a feeling that if she told him to back off he would have said it. In the sense that he isn't really worried about being embarrassed. Aswell she took advantage of him more then once as well in the sense of just being a plain *****. Let me say my logic. Basically she let him do all the work for that project, she took advantage of all the many things he did for her by not telling him to leave her alone or saying no. Also idk why she wasn't nice to him. Yes it's creepy somebody just randomly being extremely nice to you. But he was being just a good guy and she didn't even try to be his friend or idk be nice to him back? I mean the guy bought you tickets for your favorite band and idk if she even said thanks. I understand your point of view however i just find it unnaturally cruel to do that to someone when they are just trying to be nice.
Also i just love having serious, friendly debates with people.