Guys: Would you date / marry a powerful woman?

[Artemicion]

I don't see why not. As long as that power doesn't make her a hardcore *****, I'm sure things would be just dandy.

 

[Zoe Castillo]

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[Togs]

By powerful to you mean strong and confident? Or a woman in a literal position of power?
If the former definately, if the latter then no- for her to be around my age and in a position of power then she's gonna have to be driven and ambitious, 2 traits and I dont find particularly attractive or pleasant.

 

[walrusaurus]

Nope, not a chance. Don't think i could get over that whole pesky female thing.


so the first word of my captcha is mirrored? do i type it in reverse order or am i supposed to recognize it and type it in properly? Why the hell do we have to have captchas anyways? isn't that the whole purpose of having people make accounts???

EDIT: This is a public service announcement if you get a mirrored word in you captcha DO NOT flip it over and enter it in like a normal person. Instead type the letters as they are, in reverse order. Hope you can identify them upside down, otherwise you may want ot invest ina moniter that is easily flipped over.

 

[dvd_72]

If I love them, ofc, but there's the rub really.

Falling in love with them would depend on -how- strong. If she's strong to the point of dominating, then it wouldn't come to that, because I'm not submissive.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I want to dominate my partner. I want her to be strong and independent, the more successfull the better, but if the force of her personality is sutch that I feel more like her pet than her partner I'd loose feelings for her pretty quick.

Conversly, if she's "weak", depending on me for support both emotionally and financially to the point where she's barely her own person, I'd come to resent her pretty quick. I don't want to be the one dominating like the women your topic reffers to would be dominating. (if that last bit makes any sense...)

Alot of the examples you gave are where the woman would basically make her partner look small and worthless, and that doesn't sit well with me no matter which sex is in which role. Domination to the point of me being nothing but a toy she's decided to play with would never work for me.

Might have been a bit of rambling there, but I hope that made at least a little sense.

 

[Wereduck]

I suspect a large part of the problem is that people with the drive for excellence frequently only respect power. Therefore, as soon as one accepts the less-dominant role they are seen and treated as weak - and that cannot exist in a healthy relationship.

I've mainly seen this in small offices where they can't retain capable employees because the boss won't stop asserting dominance: if someone submits they're gutless and if they won't they're insubordinate - either way they've got to go. Sadly, the same principle can also be expressed in relationships, especially for men; where a man who won't submit "doesn't love me" but a man who does submit isn't a man.

As for me, I like a strong duckette just as long as she doesn't turn her strength against me.

 

[surg3n]

I wouldn't bother me in the slightest, I'd be glad to have a relationship with someone who is smart and succesful.

But that's not how the cookie crumbles. How many women out there would actually date someone 'below' them in terms of career or social standing? - not many. Women tend to either go for men who are more succesful, and can provide for them, or they go for people who think they can. It's hard-wired into a womans genes to look for a man who can support her, just like it's hard-wired into a mans genes to look for a woman who can nurture their children.

It's kinda obvious when you look at celebrity relationships, those are all about status - mis-matches tend to fail pretty quickly. If you have a smart and succesful girlfriend, then marry her, because your unlikely to be that lucky twice in your life. Remember that some women are succesful because they always strive to improve their life, and that might just include you - if your not up for some improvement, some metrosexual tendancies, then I say go for someone more down to earth. I don't see the point in adding conditional logic to relationships at all though, because it doesn't matter one bit, assuming were not all egotistical, shallow douchebags - we are attracted to people, not careers or salaries or expectations. When I was young, a girl I was dating told me once that she was smarter than me - and I could accept that if it was remotely true, when someone your with only thinks they are smarter, well that's just the worst thing ever. It's like a lack of respect, I would never tell her that I'm smarter - it should be something that is never discussed, assume that people are smarter in different ways. Even if you are a programmer, and she works in McDonalds .

 

[SwimmingRock]

Im attracted to manly girls and girly guys (go figure).

Holy crap! You mean I'm not alone? None of my friends ever understand when I try to explain this to them. You've made me feel a little better about the world .

 

[Valdus]

I don't live in 1800, I don't have an issue with my partner being "more powerful" than me. If such women find guys are avoiding them due to being rich or something, the I say good for them, it's a good way to weed out the idiots.

 

[Kargathia]

Men and women both like to feel needed by their partner, and while it's generally taken as a given that the woman is needed for caring and nurturing, the man typically feels like it's his role to be the strong provider. (This is in American culture, anyway.) Take that away from him and he often feels uncomfortable.

Maybe the OP should've first asked whether people feel that personal economic success is essential to their happiness.

OT: I've always been attracted to independent women, but one who puts her career first and foremost? I'm not sure.

... And yes, I'd probably feel uncomfortable if I felt my own endeavours were failcakes in comparison.

 

[Killertje]

I wouldn't mind a very intelligent woman. Dumb girls are a turn off for me anyway and if she's smarter than me maybe I can learn a thing or two. As far as money goes, I wouldn't mind a sugar mommy kind of deal, but businesspeople usually hate slackers, which is what I am so I don't see that happening. And as for celebrities, I like my privacy and if paparazzi shove me aside I'd kick their asses to the other side of the street while their colleagues write a story about the berzerking emo rage boyfriend of what's-her-name. Not really my thing, but as long as we love eachother I'd put up with it reluctantly.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Personally I prefer stronger women, but that's just because I'm an argumentative sod and a fluffy will just get overruled perpetually.

 

[Simalacrum]

Nope. Power doesn't scare me. If I love her then thats all that matters to me ^_^

 

[Vault101]

depends what you mean by power

I mean if I did earn more than a man and he had a problem with it...what the hell would i do? quit my job or gett one that pays less just so he can feel like the big man in the relaitonship?

fuck that shit

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

So here's the question, say the woman you are dating is always surrounded by media and publicity, the media doesn't care about you, they'd gladly push you aside if she is around to get a photo of her. Would you feel belittled or threatened by this or would you be happy with her success and shrug it off as part of what you went into when you both decided to be together?

If my GF DOES become a successful author eventually, then I might be in this situation.

And I'd be A-OK with it. I don't usually assert my presence anyway. Hell, a few birthdays ago, I was kinda awkward with the fact that everyone was going "hey, it's YOUR birthday, what do YOU want to do?".

I wouldn't have any trouble with her being famous and me being on the sidelines.

 

[Particulate]

Interesting huh? And rather controversial, yes, but I just had to ask because I've noticed that many women who are very intelligent or wealthy or both often point out that men are afraid of them and don't like to feel like the underdog in the relationship. Men in this position on the other hand rarely if ever point this out. If they have I certainly haven't heard about them, but I could name several celebrity females who have.

So here's the question, say the woman you are dating is always surrounded by media and publicity, the media doesn't care about you, they'd gladly push you aside if she is around to get a photo of her. Would you feel belittled or threatened by this or would you be happy with her success and shrug it off as part of what you went into when you both decided to be together? Or lets say she was a powerful business woman with plentiful businesses before you came along, she doesn't want your money, just your love and commitment as any good husband, again, would you feel overwhelmed or suddenly self conscious? How about an intelligent girlfriend who has been to uni, obtained several masters degrees and simply puts you to shame when she speaks, again, how would you feel? These are obviously exaggerated slightly for the sake of the topic, there are far more daily and normal circumstances of this just by being a strong minded female in an everyday world.

I'm asking because we live in world (that I find personally far better than it used to be) where women are far more stronger and independent, so these scenarios have become pretty common, but I don't blame guys for feeling threatened by it, after all, it's in our nature to have dominant personalities, it's kind of instilled in most of us at birth, so its a matter of re-adjusting to these new circumstances, some people find it easy and take on a submissive role and some prefer to be strong. And finding it difficult to get into a relationship like this shouldn't be seen as a bad thing, what it demonstrates in (I hope) most cases is that you simply prefer to be taking care of your partner and showing her all you can do as a man. To some guys, being submissive is a weakness.

My mum happens to be a VERY strong woman, and I'm thankful for that because she's made me strong too, my dad is submissive, but that doesn't mean he's weak, when the time comes, he doesn't tolerate nonsense, he changes pretty quickly and you soon start to see that he isn't anything as submissive as he appears to be 98% of the time.

Look up Queen Rania of Jordan

pretty much every heterosexual guy I know and even some girls would gladly be with her. She's shockingly attractive, stupendously intelligent, and her philanthropic work makes Oprah look like Hitler.

 

[Restoshamankk]

I'd say that be a woman to relate to, certainly nothing to be afraid of.

 

[Trucken]

This is a bit of a lopsided example, because few people will ever actually date someone that's constantly in the media spotlight. Speaking from personal experience, few men actually like their woman to be more "powerful" then them, whether that means a paycheck, or greater social success, or whatever. Men and women both like to feel needed by their partner, and while it's generally taken as a given that the woman is needed for caring and nurturing, the man typically feels like it's his role to be the strong provider. (This is in American culture, anyway.) Take that away from him and he often feels uncomfortable.

I've only met one man who was honest enough to admit that he'd feel weird if his wife made more money than he did, but I've met (and dated) plenty who said they couldn't have cared less only to have serious problems with it when it happened.

I think you might be on to something. My first reaction when I saw this thread was "not a problem". Then I started thinking about it and came to the conclusion that it would eventually become a problem due to my own insecurities (sp?). Say I would start dating a successful singer. At first it would be cool, go to parties and meet other celebrities, maybe travel around with her while she's on tour, all that stuff. But before long I would be staring at myself in the mirror thinking "why the fuck is she dating a loser like me? She's beautiful, talented, knows a ton of guys who all look better than me and what I earn in a year she earns in a day." I'd like to think I could be in a relationship with someone that is that much more powerful/successful but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to handle it.

 

[Burst6]

If i liked her and she liked me ,sure. I don't really mind women stronger than me.

Also if someone pushes me aside to take a picture of her, I'm taking their camera and disassembling it metal gear boss style.