Half your age + X rule for dating... Does it really hold, and how well? Opinions?

[ParkourMcGhee]

Okay your graph isn't really all that clear...

What's the feeling on a 23 year old guy dating a 17 year old girl? Both at same level of education...

I'm thinking it's pretty borderline, but just out of curiosity what do you guys/girls think?

By the half+6 rule that I prefer, it's right on the border, so I'd say it's ok, so long as they were both happy with it.

Yea, 12 is stupid as it'll never last and is just silly. But to say a 17yo should be ashamed that they're dating

Under 18? Wow that's extremely closed minded. While I agree that dating at 12 is too young, most teens start dating around 14-15. Which is alright with most of society.

We're no longer living in the Middle Ages. Instead of lifespans usually cut short in the region of one's forties, we live in an era where the average lifespan has shot up to the seventies or eighties. There is no longer an excuse for early carnal knowledge in a society where people live that long.

...Ashamed of what?

I think it's better people start experimenting and come to terms with their own sexuality whenever it feels right. Some people develop faster than others so it's silly putting a tag on it...especially one so high.

If people don't get jealousy issues and have their kiss by eighteen, we'll see a lot of confused young adults.

And if we can put their efforts into something more productive, I'd be all for that. I'd have personally been far more productive during my teenage years being devoid of sexual urges. Luckily, I managed to restrain them - although at the profound cost in efficiency that this indicates.

I went to an all boys school (from the ages of 12 to 19), and it was hell. Everyone has their own opinions

For those of you who have matlab, here's the (surprisingly short) script if you want it.

Spoiler: script

%x = your age, l = age of partner min, u = age of partner max
x = 0.01:0.01:100;
l = x/2+6;
u = (x-6)*2;
ur = (x-7)*2;
lr = x/2+7;
plot(x,u,'-b',x,l,'-b',x,lr,'-r',x,ur,'-r')
set(gca,'XTick',[0 5 10 15 20 25 30 35 40 45 50 55 60 65 70 75 80 85 90 95 100])
set(gca,'YTick',[0 5 10 15 20 25 30 35 40 45 50 55 60 65 70 75 80 85 90 95 100 105 110 115 120 125 130 135 140 145 150 155 160 165 170 175 180 185 190])

What is that stuff? Plotting in all that looks extremely tiresome. May I recommend Geogebra [http://www.geogebra.org/cms/en]?

Spoiler: And since this has not been posted yet:

Personally, I think having rules for whom you can date and not is unnecessary. Intuition would be better I say. Take it on a case by case basis.

Unfortunately I have to do matlab for my uni course so I'm stuck with it . As for the other thing, I'd have to agree with you. At the moment I'm happy with a 27 - almost 28 year old (and I'm 20) which would be right on the edge . But I feel really comfortable with her.

The idea that 12- or 14-year-olds should be dating is in itself repugnant enough to invalidate the rule. Anybody dating under 18 in today's society should be ashamed.

Under 18... really?
Yea, 12 is stupid as it'll never last and is just silly. But to say a 17yo should be ashamed that they're dating

Yeah, Maybe 14 and under shouldn't be excepted, but I was 17 turning 18 when I started dateing a 15 year old...we lasted almost 3 years.

and now i'm 20 turning 21 in June and i'm starting to date a girl that just turned 18.

By the half + 6 rule, 18 and 15 is A O.K., I don't see too much issue with it anyway - it's near the line, but still in I'd say .

 

[ParkourMcGhee]

According to your graph, a 57+100 match up is ok, whereas a 15+18 is not. Needs some work methinks.

With my preferred half + 6 rule it's fine. And when you get to older ages, how many people really worry about it that much?

Well, to be honest I haven't seen old people more than 20 years apart get together, so you might be onto something, but what would you suggest?

The idea that 12- or 14-year-olds should be dating is in itself repugnant enough to invalidate the rule. Anybody dating under 18 in today's society should be ashamed.

Under 18... really?
Yea, 12 is stupid as it'll never last and is just silly. But to say a 17yo should be ashamed that they're dating

The idea that 12- or 14-year-olds should be dating is in itself repugnant enough to invalidate the rule. Anybody dating under 18 in today's society should be ashamed.

Please don't troll, this is supposed to be an open topic, not a flame war.

 

[Ironrose]

Here It's accepted as half+8 which I see as workable. it means at 16 your own age is appropriate, at 20 someone 18 is appropriate, at 24 20 is appropriate. it covers the younger range very well but I think it is a bit conservative on the older end of the scale.

 

[Ekonk]

And if we can put their efforts into something more productive, I'd be all for that. I'd have personally been far more productive during my teenage years being devoid of sexual urges. Luckily, I managed to restrain them - although at the profound cost in efficiency that this indicates.

Antisexuality, eh? An interesting movement, although I think it's perfectly possible to live a happy and productive life and have sex.

Anyway, this graph seems a little of. Also, who needs graphs? I have a functioning mind which I can use to see wether someone is too old or too young for me.

 

[ThatDaveDude1]

I've always gone by 5/6 of your age as the minimum.

Examples:
An 18 Year Old and a 15 Year Old.
A 21 Year Old and a 17-18 Year Old.

Seems to hold up pretty well.

 

[Lord Beautiful]

Unless X > or = (my age/2), I'd get registered as a sex offender.

 

[seventy two]

I do not really like that rule since it has a limited range of usefulness that is much shorter than human life. In my opinion a range of 80% to 120% of you age is a pretty good estimate for it. (120% bit could probably be increased.)

Spoiler: Graph of that range

[LINK]http://img857.imageshack.us/img857/6213/graph.png[/LINK]

 

[Lukeje]

For those of you who have matlab, here's the (surprisingly short) script if you want it.

Spoiler: script

%x = your age, l = age of partner min, u = age of partner max
x = 0.01:0.01:100;
l = x/2+6;
u = (x-6)*2;
ur = (x-7)*2;
lr = x/2+7;
plot(x,u,'-b',x,l,'-b',x,lr,'-r',x,ur,'-r')
set(gca,'XTick',[0 5 10 15 20 25 30 35 40 45 50 55 60 65 70 75 80 85 90 95 100])
set(gca,'YTick',[0 5 10 15 20 25 30 35 40 45 50 55 60 65 70 75 80 85 90 95 100 105 110 115 120 125 130 135 140 145 150 155 160 165 170 175 180 185 190])

Why didn't you use 0:5:100 and 0:5:190 within the two set() commands?

(Yes, my only comment in this thread is on a matter of programming style).

Edit: also, since these are all linear plots, why do you have ~ 10,000 x points? You only need two...

 

[Auxiliary]

According to your graphic I was a boytoy of a vicious woman more than twice my age. I was like three months away from 18.

 

[zen5887]

First things first.

The idea that 12- or 14-year-olds should be dating is in itself repugnant enough to invalidate the rule. Anybody dating under 18 in today's society should be ashamed.

We all know how you feel about relationships (how could we not when you post in every single relationship thread), but you have to agree that your view are not the norm. Denying sexual urges during that age, well.. at any age really, is kind of un natural. Humans are designed to fuck, and once we realise we can, and that it feels good, we're going to try it. Sure, there are a lot of problems like teen pregnancy and stuff but they can be addressed with better education on the matter (but that's a whole different topic). I would say its important for young teenagers to date young, that way they can learn how shit works while the stakes are relatively low.

Anyways.

I think half your age +7 is an alright guideline. Although I'm 20 now, and I would be hesitant to date anyone under 18. The idea of dating a high schooler is a little weird to me...

 

[Gilfareth]

I'd have personally been far more productive during my teenage years being devoid of sexual urges. Luckily, I managed to restrain them - although at the profound cost in efficiency that this indicates.

"Beep boop, I have reprogrammed myself to ignore my sexual urges for I am a robot, beep." Seriously, I can see the advantage of keeping to our studies as best we can, but one of the other posters has a point; you had the same urges as everyone else, and you're tone with this argument seems to shout 'Repression issues!', with a megaphone cranked up to eleven (actually, I've never seen one; are there megaphones with volume settings?). With the exception of those born completely without sexual urges, going your entire adolescence- a time where mistakes are tolerated the most and learned from the quickest- ignoring said urges is going to cause more problems for you emotionally than the extra time spent studying could ever hope to make up for socially or academically. If this was entirely your choice at the time, and I seriously doubt it was, then you simply made one of the worst mistakes a teenager could. If it was thrust upon you by your parents' ideals (or anyone close to you, really), then I simply feel sorry for you.

Regardless of your opinion's origin, don't try to thrust your close-minded opinion down as though it were the word of God. Have a more open mind to the benefits of having a close physical and emotional relationship when you're younger. Looking at any and all of your ideas with a healthy amount of unbiased skepticism can help you so much more than wallowing in your ideas ever could, believe you me.

 

[Gilfareth]

(I accidentally reposted, assuming the Captcha would have stopped the first post, since my page auto-refreshed without me finishing it. I apologize, but could a mod please remove this extra post?)

 

[N3vans]

My thought on this is that as long as both people are over 18 the age gap isn't really an issue (okay within reason, anything more than about 10-15 years is a bit stranger). When there's age gaps involved and one is under 18 and the other over it gets dodgy.

 

[SpAc3man]

Gentleman's rules state it's half your age + 7 years. Tends to hold well in my opinion. 20 year old can date a 17 year old which seems ok. A 20 year old with a 16 year old seems weird. 40 year old can go for a 27 year old which seems fine. The older the people are the less a big gap seems to matter.

 

[Altorin]

well, I'd say the youngest you should date is what's legal in your area

the oldest is really whatever you are comfortable with

 

[Layzor]

For now, I'm 21 and I won't touch somthing under 18 that'll probably raise to 20 and stay there once I hit 25.

 

[loc978]

errr... not so much with "dating" (never really had the urge to try out that scene), but I've been in the cougar zone several times when it comes to sex... and your so-called "pedophile zone" twice (once with a 19 year old, once with a 21 year old)... so uh, yeah...
With the exception of pre-pubescents and legal issues, age-related math really doesn't apply to sexual maturity.

 

[Eldarion]

The idea that 12- or 14-year-olds should be dating is in itself repugnant enough to invalidate the rule. Anybody dating under 18 in today's society should be ashamed.

I've been dating since 12 years old, both sexes. Sexual urges are totally natural. Thing is, after parting ways with my lovers I can still honestly say I love them. I'm still friends with most of them.

Can you say that about your past relationships?