Halo: ODST or 20 dollars an hour

[RentCavalier]

You can hijack vehicles actually.

Yeah, I found this out, to my surprise. It's just WAY fucking harder, since you're not God. However, you can only really hijack Ghosts. Wraiths are off-limits, and if you can actually manage to steal a Chopper, KUDOS, 'cause I mean, man. What the hell.

Meh. The review didn't really sound off with me and seemed pretty bland (the metaphors were also forced and uninspired) - if you're trying to be like a certain other reviewer then it isn't working out, if you're not, I would suggest investing some time in defining a different style altogether.

You're a good writer, don't get me wrong. It just seems like you're trying to rely on the inevitable controversy among fans and non-fans to bring this review forward. The whole piece sounds as though you hated it going in and numerous small mistakes (as outlined by previous posters) shows lack of care.

P.S. - All you people arguing and being passive-aggressive might as well be arguing over whether vanilla or chocolate is the superior ice-cream flavour. At the end of the day, they're -still- both ice-cream.

If I wanted to have this review be controversial, I'd have said something petty and superflous like (spaced for quoting out of context):

HALO ODST IS THE WORST GAME EVAR MADE. IT IS SHIT. IT IS THE SHITTIEST OF SHIT EVER SHAT OUT BY A SHIT BEAST. WHEN I PLAY THIS GAME, THE GUNS SOUND LIKE FARTS BECAUSE IT IS SO FULL OF SHIT.

I find the controversy funny, which is why I even bothered to post a review at all. As for the other things, saying a person who uses metaphors in a review is unoriginal is like saying that the Pope is secretly an alien monster from the planet Orgasmo who kidnaps small children and uses them to jump-star his evil interstellar breeding program. It's utterly absurd.

(Small note: I actually was ripping Yahtzee off shhhh don't tell anyone plz thx.)

Also, for the rest of you, I changed it. Orbital Drop SHOCK Troopers. Like that makes any more sense. It's not particularly shocking if somebody crashes to the ground in a metal turd you can see plummeting towards the earth at 5000 miles per hour. It's also not the most efficient way of deploying soldiers, since at most you see, maybe, a dozen ODST people deployed in such a manner, which seems to me that it's because THEY think it is cool and not for much of a tactical advantage (because if you wanted to drop a squad of highly trained commandos into an area, there are a lot better ways then LITERALLY DROPPING THEM FROM THE SKY. Maybe a teleporter. Or a friggin' stealth aircraft.)

 

[random457376]

x3

I would just like to point out, I don't think the 'use' of metaphors are unoriginal - simply that the ones you chose to include were bland and crude, in my opinion.

 

[RentCavalier]

x3

I would just like to point out, I don't think the 'use' of metaphors are unoriginal - simply that the ones you chose to include were bland and crude, in my opinion.

Oh yeah? Well your MOM is bland and crude. YEAH!
...that doesn't help my point does it?

 

[GloatingSwine]

a cut and paste knock-off of Gears 2's Horde mode

because horde mode was so obviously the first mode to have a "survive against waves of enemies" mode.

That would probably be Invasion or whatever it was called in UT2k4. Which, of course, also Epic.

Actually I thought Firefight was a good advance on Horde, what with it being all about the score* as well as survival, and the progressive increase in difficulty thanks to the skulls was better than Horde just giving all the enemies Moar Hitpointz.

* Actually, I think scoring mode is where Halo 3 is at it's best as well. Halo is not a Serious Business FPS, it's an arcade shooter where you shoot multicoloured gremlins with colourful and shiny weapons and their heads explode into confetti, it deserves a scoreboard and high scores and stuff.

 

[Kajin]

The review was pretty good. I found it enjoyable enough to read through. I never had any intention on buying ODST and this review basically enforces the reasons for why I won't. So, in a nutshell it's enjoyable but doesn't offer much that I haven't already heard elsewhere.

On a side note, I won't condemn Bungie to the thought of them being money grubbing sellout whores until I actually see them doing it in person. People need to remember that Microsoft BOUGHT Bungie and that there might very well be a Whore Sellout Quota Microsoft enforces on all the branches it owns. Take it for what you will.

 

[Ashbax]

Some fairly unreasonable points, but otherwise a solidly Written review anyway. I liked the terms "Grenades sailing through the air like easter eggs from hell" However.

 

[MaskedMori]

You could have shortened the entire thing by saying this, "See Halo 3 review *Link*" Spot on review though.

Microsoft decides all the prices not Bungie. Reach is a FULL and completely redesigned game that will sell at the usual 70-74$. Nobody better say shit about that price because Reach is all new.

If they do the same thing they did with the other 3, it's going to be the same game with a lousey campaign. Plus it's been a generic shooter that any company could pump out. I really doubt that bungie is going to redefine the series at all with another new installment, sure there will be a few new gameplay mechanics, why spend over full retail price for it? Oh yes, and a sequel/remake is NEVER "all new".