Harry Potter Jokes

[G1eet]

5. His voice cracks while casting a spell, causing it to rain naked Tracey Ullmans.

What a wretched mental image.


Or my personal favorite: "Straight Snape kills Gay Dumbledore!"

Except it was funnier when people hadn't read the book and cried "SPOILER ALERTS?!"

 

[Hutchy_Bear]

"Have you heard? The police have taken away Dumbledore's hard drive!"

Gotta love Mock the Week.

 

[Valkyira]

As Harry looked at the old man clutching his wand, harry regretted transferring to catholic school.

 

[Spaceman_Spiff]

Chat up lines:
My name my not be Luna but I can sure Lovegood
I know you cant find platform 9 and 3/4 but I got something of the same specifics.

 

[Hutchy_Bear]

"I am Voldemort and I am gay!" said Voldemort. "Let me show you some dark arts."

Ron and Harry smiled as the Coventry fans rounded the corner. 'Let's f*cking kill 'em!' they bellowed at their fellow Chelsea firm members.

 

[Wilfy]

Harry had always thought he would meet his death at the hands of Lord Voldemort, so imagine his surprise when the doctors told him that he was HIV positive.
Courtesy of Frankie Boyle.

 

[Jamous]

He can do some impressive magic!
"Now THAT'S real magic!" said Harry, as he readied the syringe again. You've got to love Mock t' Week. New series soon! Yay!

 

[Abedeus]

Change every "wand" in the book into a "wang". After about one or two chapters, you will notice that J.K.Rowling is a very perverted woman.

Also, Snape killed Trinity with Rosebud.

 

[BaronXS]

Change every "wand" in the book into a "wang". After about one or two chapters, you will notice that J.K.Rowling is a very perverted woman.

Also, Snape killed Trinity with Rosebud.

...Did you even see my post?

 

[The Maddest March Hare]

Change every "wand" in the book into a "wang". After about one or two chapters, you will notice that J.K.Rowling is a very perverted woman.

Thanks for reminding me of this one.

A few little gems for you all to enjoy:

"Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.

"Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

"Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

 

[Abedeus]

Change every "wand" in the book into a "wang". After about one or two chapters, you will notice that J.K.Rowling is a very perverted woman.

Also, Snape killed Trinity with Rosebud.

...Did you even see my post?

Oh, yes, but I didn't realise it's about the same thing ;p

Blame spoilers.

Besides, we both got it from (probably) bash.org.

 

[Claymorez]

Harry: Ginny you want to see my wand

 

[Valkyira]

Ron Weasly was suffering from swine flu and everyone was avoiding him, luckily he was ginger so he was used to it.