Has anyone ever considered how much we would miss toilet paper in all those apocalyptic scenarios?

[robot slipper]

I suppose you could have that on your list for looting trips, the good thing is it's a lightweight thing to carry. But when it eventually runs out? Eww. And I hate to be the one to bring this up, but as a female I would also be looting the shops for tampons/sanitary towels (pads). I don't even want to think about what would happen once those ran out. Hopefully by then, food would be in such short supply that periods would stop altogether.

 

[MammothBlade]

Note to self: recruit someone with a fetish for licking dirty buttholes. Wouldn't have to worry about toilet paper either way.

 

[DirtyJunkieScum]

Simple. Moss, especially sphagnum. I am "fortunate" enough to live in one of the dampest parts of the country and there is a mass abundance of the stuff. It's also good as a bandage or for sanitary towels, although not being a woman that last use would be lost on me.

 

[DirtyJunkieScum]

I suppose you could have that on your list for looting trips, the good thing is it's a lightweight thing to carry. But when it eventually runs out? Eww. And I hate to be the one to bring this up, but as a female I would also be looting the shops for tampons/sanitary towels (pads). I don't even want to think about what would happen once those ran out. Hopefully by then, food would be in such short supply that periods would stop altogether.

Sorry for the double post, but I just read yours and feel I should point you to my post above.

 

[robot slipper]

I suppose you could have that on your list for looting trips, the good thing is it's a lightweight thing to carry. But when it eventually runs out? Eww. And I hate to be the one to bring this up, but as a female I would also be looting the shops for tampons/sanitary towels (pads). I don't even want to think about what would happen once those ran out. Hopefully by then, food would be in such short supply that periods would stop altogether.

Sorry for the double post, but I just read yours and feel I should point you to my post above.

Interesting! I would have never thought of that. I would have probably ended up walking around uncomfortably with tons of leaves stuffed in my pants.

 

[DirtyJunkieScum]

Interesting! I would have never thought of that. I would have probably ended up walking around uncomfortably with tons of leaves stuffed in my pants.

I am glad that I have potentially saved you the inconvenience of walking around with your pants stuffed with dry leaves. On that note I should also point out that it would also be advisable to dry the sphagnum out before use, at least as a sanitary towel or wound dressing. Toilet paper can be left wet or dry according to personal preference, although perhaps slightly damp would be best.
On a final note sphagnum also has various anti bacterial and fungicidal properties so hopefully you won't need to hunt down any remaining stocks of Vagisil.

 

[Blunderboy]

While it's not high up on my list of priorities, I'll be using the Roman method.
We cloth on a stick. Rinse and repeat.

Not that it matters. Assuming I actually make it though the event that causes this Apocalypse, I would not last long.

 

[Sneezeguard]

Nah i'd be more concerned about toothpaste, I can't stand my mouth feeling dirty.

 

[Aerosteam]

That's not a problem for me, I've been stocking up tones of toilet paper for years.

 

[Chemical Alia]

I learned this sad lesson twelve years ago in boot camp. Hooray for toilet paper.

 

[maninahat]

Toilet paper gives you dingle berries. I'll give one cursory paper wipe to remove excess filth, but I use my hands. I get my hands a little wet and soapy and then wash my ass with them each time I poop.

If I'm in a public restroom, I'll scoop toilet water out of the bowl in my hand and use that to clean my ass real good. The trick is to flush a lot ot keep the water nice and clean. That and making sure to wash your hands real good after so you're hands don't stink.

I've put my hands in worse as busboy/dishwasher in a restaurant. You ever clean out a backed up drain with all kinds of food clogging it?

That is the single most disgusting thing I've ever heard.

What is scarier is that you think that water is clean and you work in the food industry.

I end up having this discussion with my girlfriend far more often than I would like. As an Indian, she uses her hands and a dipper jug. Indians tend to find toilet paper to be pretty disgusting themselves, and they wonder how the hell we keep anything clean down there.

As for OT, Borderlands has toilets absolutely everywhere. For some reason, people like to store their ammo in them.

Well she's much better than toilet bowl guy. She is using clean water. He is using water contaminated by multiple people's fecal matter.

Yes and no. He's only using the contaminated water on his own ass (which is already contaminated), and the fresh water that goes into a toilet bowl tends to be moderately clean, save for whatever (ahem) customer residue is left behind. Though I'm just as disgusted as you by the idea, it logically doesn't seem too bad. Considering the amount of germs and fecal matter left on forcets, door handles, hand dryers (and subsequently, money, menus etc), it seems we can handle a few germs. Don't take that as a recommendation though.

 

[ElPatron]

Least of your worries.

However, now I have a good use for Twilight books.

kill other survivors (assuming that agriculture is destroyed and there is a lot of competition for limited resources).

People who do that are the first getting shot.

 

[Esotera]

kill other survivors (assuming that agriculture is destroyed and there is a lot of competition for limited resources).

People who do that are the first getting shot.

And I'd be the guy shooting them, hopefully. I don't think I could bring myself to kill someone unless they were immediately threatening my life by trying to steal my supplies. But I suppose I wouldn't be averse to stealing their supplies in the middle of the night.

 

[ElPatron]

And I'd be the guy shooting them, hopefully. I don't think I could bring myself to kill someone unless they were immediately threatening my life by trying to steal my supplies. But I suppose I wouldn't be averse to stealing their supplies in the middle of the night.

You seem pretty confident in your skills.

You do realize that the word "them" is plural, right? I am not familiar with shooters able to aim at several people at the same time.

Gunfights are those things you don't want to enter in any situation. When you are willing to enter a gunfight with an extreme numerical disadvantage you'd probably not very sane.

And let's not mention that there is a high chance you will be facing trained police officers, army veterans or just civilians with darn good shooting skills.

 

[Rowan93]

I'm not worried about that. Currently, the most likely kind of apocalypse is a pandemic, and that will leave plenty of toilet paper lying around for the small population of survivors to gather up. Hell, you can raid dead people's wardrobes and use whatever clothing is in there that doesn't fit you. But that might piss off the people that it would fit who turn up later, or the relatives of that person who come looking to see if they survived. But you can use curtains, definitely.

 

[Palademon]

Borderlands has taught me that in an apocalyptic wasteland, money or bullets will work in a pinch.

I do somewhat wonder, yes. But I wonder more about any story that never shows the character using a toilet at all. No More Heroes really helped with that and even had a good use for it!

 

[winginson]

I'm thinking in a post-apocalyptic scenerio where every single day is a struggle to survive, you have to spend all day scavenging for things we wouldn't touch today and get less than half of what we are used to surviving on ..... I'm thinking a spanking clean ass isn't going to be high on the list of stuff to care about.

Unless it's Micheal Swaim's Assocalpse, in which its very damn important.