Have we forgotten how to be ladies and gentlemen?

[pulse2]

Lots of sexism recently, if it isn't the big dispute about slutfest, rape or penis' being cut off, its the behaviour of sexes in general. Women demand basic respect and chivalry and men demand to not all be put into the same bracket, but do you think we've all just forgotten the basic elements of being a gentleman or a lady.

I prefer the way people looked in the old days, they looked so respectable in their fine outfits and beautiful dresses, or so media leads you to believe, either way, its a nice thought that everyone could behave that way.

Today we have females wearing skimpy outfits and demanding to be respected by men no matter what they wear, personally, I'm sorry, but I can't respect you dressed like that because it's clear you don't respect yourself, how can I see you as anything other than what you present yourself to be, slaggy, it certainly wouldn't be appropriate for a guy to walk around in a gimp outfit or have his ballbags hanging from his pants "to tease". As for guys, are we too influenced by the nonsense our other male friends get us into? This whole ego trip and comparisons to be "the cool one with the most chicks".

So yeah, what do you think escapists, have some or most people forgotten how to be 'appropriate' or is the world just evolving? Would you prefer a world where people were more upstanding or do you like the variety we have now?

 

[Actual]

In some ways I like the new way of dressing to express yourself. It's more honest, if a guy is dressed like a tool he probably is a tool and I can disregard him. If a girl is dressed like a slut she probably is and I can ignore her.

When people were more restrained in their dress it was all about hiding improprieties now I can see that the nicely dressed girl respects herself and is worth asking out. I can see which guys are normal, which are hung up on fashion and which really want to be cool.

I know it's not right to judge people on first sight but I do it all the time and it's served me really damn well.

Also wearing a full suit every day would be such a ballache, give me tshirts and joggers/jeans every day.

 

[cameron196789]

You put up a lot of good points there, and I have to agree with you that most people have forgotten how to be ladies and gentlemen. I think the world can evolve and still have people act appropriately, but it just wont be that many people who do.

 

[Flamingpenguin]

Yes, to some degree. I believe our culture has lost the need to support manners, which saddens me. Even as recent as two or three decades ago, being respectful was generally expected of citizens, although not everyone (of course) was a perfect lady/gentleman.

What happened to the honorable knight?
What happened to the renaissance man?
What happened to the dapper gentleman?

I call for a revolution.

 

[Palademon]

What do you mean by "upstanding"? And do you mean that implies we won't have variety? And if so, how?

I don't mind women wearing skimpy outfits, but I'm suaully attracted more to girls who don't dress like they're constantly trying to show off. Some people may see that as liking tomboys. Although it's nice seeing them in a good dress at parties or something.

And the weird thing about sexism is that someone could call you sexist for making a clear distinction between what men and women want. Maybe the human race needs to just calm down, and stop making generalisations, but this will never happen because there's always bigots everywhere, and this causes me to be forced to bring up sexism and...

I really have no conclusion here. It seems circular to try to get people to stop worrying by continuing to bring up the subject.

EDIT:
To do with dressing, I can't really express myself, since anything I dress in can be misenterpreted. I'm the kind of person that walks into a shop looking for clothes, hate everything because it's all fashion and "what's in this season", and I will probably leave with just a tie, and I don't even wear ties very much if ever, I just like them. I like dressing in all black. I like suits, but I also like casual, so my idea of something I'd like wearing is black jeans, with a slightly unbuttoned dress shirt and some kind of frankenstein hoodie-waistcoat, then with probably a duffel coat over that if I'm cold. But I run out of shirts and coats are seasonal so the only other clothing I like are those t-shirts that say things related to games etc., but being the type of guy that wears nothing but nerdy t-shirts all the time is not an image of myself I want to support. I often wear my red leavers hoodie, and then people got used to it and find it weird to see me without it, and the only reason I wore it is because it's cold in the mornings, and school years always start in the cold months, but it got too warm for a coat. And therefore people judge me from my hoodie-AUGHGGHGHGHH, I've dedicated too much text to this.

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

I personally think it's a society thing, and that can go both ways. See a girl dress conservatively? Something must be going on with her! I know that sounds cynical, but that's what I've over heard anyways.

As much as I would love for people not dress like that since I really don't know what they are trying to prove, other than attention, I don't see that happening. So I guess it's also the world evolving and accepting the direction that fashion is heading and how people act now since 'times are changing'. I personally don't like it, but I also think that it's their way of expressing themselves, and a warning for me to stay away from those people.

I see it all the time where I live, so yeah, I don't think they forgot how to act 'appropriate', I just think they don't care.

 

[pulse2]

What do you mean by "upstanding"? And do you mean that implies we won't have variety? And if so, how?

I don't mind women wearing skimpy outfits, but I'm suaully attracted more to girls who don't dress like they're constantly trying to show off. Some people may see that as liking tomboys. Although it's nice seeing them in a good dress at parties or something.

And the weird thing about sexism is that someone could call you sexist for making a clear distinction between what men and women want. Maybe the human race needs to just calm down, and stop making generalisations, but this will never happen because there's always bigots everywhere, and this causes me to be forced to bring up sexism and...

I really have no conclusion here. It seems circular to try to get people to stop worrying by continuing to bring up the subject.

By upstanding, I mean respectable, or someone to idolize in a sense.

On topic:

To be honest, while it may seem wrong, there are certain girls I wouldn't see as wife material, they look like no more than 1 night stand material as much as it might hurt them to say so, which is the reason I'm still with my GF, I respect her, why? Because she is more then just skimpy outfits on a Saturday and Friday night, she is ambitious, creative and talented, I have a profound amount of respect for her and had no qualms in bringing her home to the mother because I knew my mum would like her.

This is why I found the whole slut parade laughable, because sluts only attract horny males, don't expect to ever be married. No guy I know wants to marry a slut :/

 

[Loner Jo Jo]

I don't know if I really want to go back to those days of being a lady or a gentleman. I think we have lost some politeness, common courtesy stuff. Things like holding the door open, little gestures. I like it when a guy does that for me, but then again, I appreciate it just as much when a woman does it for me. I think we need to lose this idea that courtesy falls along gender lines, and just try to be thoughtful about everyone. I'll hold doors open for men sometimes because to me it's just polite, but I've noticed that, especially among older men, they find it off-putting. I hope we can move away from this antiquated idea as we progress.

When it comes to women and men behaving inappropriately or in a manner which does not garner respect, that's been happening since at least the 1920's. Remember flappers were women who wore short skirts, bandaged their breasts as to appear flat-chested, drank openly, etc. etc. Young people like to rebel, some more so than others. It makes sense that as the envelop gets pushed as the years passed, girls who want to buck society's standards will have to become more and more provocative. Most people grow out of it. If they don't because of lack of respect for themselves, that's something their psychiatrist and they will have to discuss.

Personally, I'm glad that a lot of those old rules are gone. I had a friend who was male who would walk me home almost every night when I was at university. Now, most people thinks that is sweet. Had that happened a hundred years ago, I would probably be considered a ruined woman.

 

[Colour Scientist]

So we could be more "appropriate", what does that word even mean? Appropriate in what sense of the word? Cover up everything? Have both men and women ashamed to show their bodies because some conservative idealists think it's inappropriate.

Really?
If you want to go back to these romanticised "old times" that never actually existed, fine, but count me out.

The idea of chivalry and chastity are silly concepts that never worked in the first place, rather dissent from these rules wasn't made as public as it is now.

I'd much rather skimpy outfits and gimp suits to the dry society you're proposing.

 

[stefanbertramlee]

The past was shit.

For everyone

Bonus shityness if you were born not a white Christain male.

 

[Valate_v1legacy]

I declare everyone should read at least 20 volumes of 19th century literature to understand what it is to be polite. That and duel. But without restrictions, and a more modern, accepting view on certain sensitive topics.

No I'm not on drugs.

 

[Cleo Cowdrey]

There will always be good upstanding people out there. If we just ignore the people who dress or act distastefully then they won't have the attention that they obviously crave and more people will feel happy to be normal.

 

[pulse2]

So we could be more "appropriate", what does that word even mean? Appropriate in what sense of the word? Cover up everything? Have both men and women ashamed to show their bodies because some conservative idealists think it's inappropriate.

Really?
If you want to go back to these romanticised "old times" that never actually existed, fine, but count me out.

The idea of chivalry and chastity are silly concepts that never worked in the first place, rather dissent from these rules wasn't made as public as it is now.

I'd much rather skimpy outfits and gimp suits to the dry society you're proposing.

I'm not expecting everyone to be like that at all, to be honest I like how things are, but I "prefer" those days. Saying that, I have difficulty in taking most people seriously if they don't even have basic manners or self respect. I know that that is just me, which is why I started the discussion to see the variety of opinions

 

[Dags90]

Saying that, I have difficulty in taking most people seriously if they don't even have basic manners or self respect.

And you judge self respect primarily on sartorial choices?

 

[Erana]

Well, it doesn't matter to me how being respectable looks, but I just wish more people wanted to be so.
As a society, we have devalued respect. In its place is popularity and money. Well, people always want wealth, but to a somewhat different means.

And personally, I do dress a bit conservatively, am very feminine, and wish to appear congenial. But I was raised with the expectation that I would be a lady, in the more traditional sense of the term.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

as soon as i read this thread i thought:

which is a hilarious situation. but is fictional. anyway, OP makes a good point. if you walk around dressed and acting like a slut, you will be treated as a slut and deserve that.
if you dress like an upper class victorian, you will be treated as such: confusion and maybe respect. also, people may think you're insane or a timetraveller (ensue hilarity) unless you go to the bar from QC.

 

[aei_haruko]

Lots of sexism recently, if it isn't the big dispute about slutfest, rape or penis' being cut off, its the behaviour of sexes in general. Women demand basic respect and chivalry and men demand to not all be put into the same bracket, but do you think we've all just forgotten the basic elements of being a gentleman or a lady.

I prefer the way people looked in the old days, they looked so respectable in their fine outfits and beautiful dresses, or so media leads you to believe, either way, its a nice thought that everyone could behave that way.

Today we have females wearing skimpy outfits and demanding to be respected by men no matter what they wear, personally, I'm sorry, but I can't respect you dressed like that because it's clear you don't respect yourself, how can I see you as anything other than what you present yourself to be, slaggy, it certainly wouldn't be appropriate for a guy to walk around in a gimp outfit or have his ballbags hanging from his pants "to tease". As for guys, are we too influenced by the nonsense our other male friends get us into? This whole ego trip and comparisons to be "the cool one with the most chicks".

So yeah, what do you think escapists, have some or most people forgotten how to be 'appropriate' or is the world just evolving? Would you prefer a world where people were more upstanding or do you like the variety we have now?

yes, people have forgotton, don't get mad @ me for staring at yu if you look like a sex doll

 

[Colour Scientist]

I'm not expecting everyone to be like that at all, to be honest I like how things are, but I "prefer" those days. Saying that, I have difficulty in taking most people seriously if they don't even have basic manners or self respect. I know that that is just me, which is why I started the discussion to see the variety of opinions

But who are you to gauge someone's self-respect and self-worth by how much or how little they wear?

 

[Prince Regent]

I declare everyone should read at least 20 volumes of 19th century literature to understand what it is to be polite. That and duel.

Fine but we'll play starcraft to determine who is right and not by shooting or stabbing our fellow man.