I haven't been arrested before but I've come close a few times and squeaked by only by sheer dumb luck. One time in particular is something I like to share around parties.
In my early 20s I worked for a Kirby Vacuum distributor selling door-to-door. I was what they called the "demo" man, meaning that I couldn't close the deal, only go through homes with the vacuum and demonstrate all of the parts and the features while the salesman/my manager would come in to release me and close the deal. Usually this took about 20 to 30 minutes so long as the manager knew what he was doing.
One night, after working 8 hours scouring the town and getting shut out everywhere, my group was getting desperate for any demo we could get because none of us had managed to meet our quota for the day. So the girl who went door-to-door to set up the appointments started to lie to people to get us in. Stupid as it was, it worked.
So she talks to this one little old immigrant Chinese lady that looked to be about 50 and tells the woman it's supposed to take about 20 minutes and that I was just going to clean her house (you'd be amazed how many people thought we were just doing this for free for no reason). I got stuck with that lady and it became clear pretty early that she had NO idea I was there to demonstrate the product and that the girl used the "he'll just clean" line. So I tried to strike up conversation, found out that her English was horrible and that she was actually in her 70s. Already I knew I was screwed because there was no way we were going to convince this woman to buy a vacuum priced at $1500. Still, I couldn't stop demonstrating because the manager could come by any minute and I needed to show that I'd been busy. So I vacuumed, demo'd, tried to strike up conversation in what little English she had, and showed her the shampoo attachment.
This went on for TWO HOURS. My manager never showed up (I later found out from a third party that he'd been flirting with some women who had no intention of buying anything from him).
So after vacuuming every inch of the woman's house (including all of her furniture and her curtains), I realize that not only is she not talking to me anymore, she's repeatedly sneaking off to other rooms where I can hear her talking to someone. So as I'm listening (all of it in Chinese), I realize she sounds incredibly agitated. That's when I finally looked at the time and realized how long I'd been there. I knew I'd been there for a while, but I'd never been left hanging by a manager longer than 45 minutes before so I was shocked to see 2 hours had gone by. And, despite that, I still couldn't shut down and walk out because if I did I was going to be fired. Now, I didn't have a cellphone at the time (I was broke) and she flat out refused when I asked her if I could use her land-line to call my manager. But, after a while, I gave up and started packing (there was nothing left to clean). All of a sudden this big dude comes storming into the house and starts screaming at me.
"Who the hell are you?" I asked in slightly more colorful language.
He shows his badge, explains he's an off-duty cop and a friend of the family. She'd been calling her family for help telling them that some guy had been holding her hostage in her house with a vacuum cleaner trying to extort her into buying the thing.
The badge itself was bad enough to make me want to get the hell out, but then he started to shove me around and throw the equipment at me. I don't know if any of you have ever lifted a Kirby Vacuum, but the damn things are heavy. By the time it's all done, I'm picking the equipment up off the lawn in the dark while this big-ass cop is glaring down at me from the doorstep demanding I get the hell off the property or he was going to arrest me for trespassing and a bunch of other trumped up charges. I pleaded with him to understand that I was just doing my job and managed to convince him that I wasn't about to go attacking them with a vacuum. So I pack up, regained my bearings and started walking to the nearest payphone.
Now, I thought the fact I'd packed up and was leaving the property would be enough for him to understand that I wasn't going to go strong-arming the little old lady with the vacuum. But as I started walking down the block I hear him come out of the house and look over my shoulder to see him walk out and get into his car.
"Well, cool, everyone's going home," I thought.
Nope, he started the car and slowly started following me down the block in the middle of the night. He followed me for three blocks and circled a couple times to make sure I wasn't going back while I was busy on the payphone trying to get my manager on the phone to demand he pick me up.
In all my panic, I never thought to look at his badge number so I could report his ass. When I finally got in contact with my manager about the cop coming to rough me up he said I should have kicked his ass since he was off-duty. So clearly my manager was an idiot. Best part? This was the third time I'd had cops (on and off duty) called on me while working for that company. I quit a week later after the manager tried to blame me for "failed sales".
Moral of the story? Never take a door-to-door sales job - people take that shit seriously.
In my early 20s I worked for a Kirby Vacuum distributor selling door-to-door. I was what they called the "demo" man, meaning that I couldn't close the deal, only go through homes with the vacuum and demonstrate all of the parts and the features while the salesman/my manager would come in to release me and close the deal. Usually this took about 20 to 30 minutes so long as the manager knew what he was doing.
One night, after working 8 hours scouring the town and getting shut out everywhere, my group was getting desperate for any demo we could get because none of us had managed to meet our quota for the day. So the girl who went door-to-door to set up the appointments started to lie to people to get us in. Stupid as it was, it worked.
So she talks to this one little old immigrant Chinese lady that looked to be about 50 and tells the woman it's supposed to take about 20 minutes and that I was just going to clean her house (you'd be amazed how many people thought we were just doing this for free for no reason). I got stuck with that lady and it became clear pretty early that she had NO idea I was there to demonstrate the product and that the girl used the "he'll just clean" line. So I tried to strike up conversation, found out that her English was horrible and that she was actually in her 70s. Already I knew I was screwed because there was no way we were going to convince this woman to buy a vacuum priced at $1500. Still, I couldn't stop demonstrating because the manager could come by any minute and I needed to show that I'd been busy. So I vacuumed, demo'd, tried to strike up conversation in what little English she had, and showed her the shampoo attachment.
This went on for TWO HOURS. My manager never showed up (I later found out from a third party that he'd been flirting with some women who had no intention of buying anything from him).
So after vacuuming every inch of the woman's house (including all of her furniture and her curtains), I realize that not only is she not talking to me anymore, she's repeatedly sneaking off to other rooms where I can hear her talking to someone. So as I'm listening (all of it in Chinese), I realize she sounds incredibly agitated. That's when I finally looked at the time and realized how long I'd been there. I knew I'd been there for a while, but I'd never been left hanging by a manager longer than 45 minutes before so I was shocked to see 2 hours had gone by. And, despite that, I still couldn't shut down and walk out because if I did I was going to be fired. Now, I didn't have a cellphone at the time (I was broke) and she flat out refused when I asked her if I could use her land-line to call my manager. But, after a while, I gave up and started packing (there was nothing left to clean). All of a sudden this big dude comes storming into the house and starts screaming at me.
"Who the hell are you?" I asked in slightly more colorful language.
He shows his badge, explains he's an off-duty cop and a friend of the family. She'd been calling her family for help telling them that some guy had been holding her hostage in her house with a vacuum cleaner trying to extort her into buying the thing.
The badge itself was bad enough to make me want to get the hell out, but then he started to shove me around and throw the equipment at me. I don't know if any of you have ever lifted a Kirby Vacuum, but the damn things are heavy. By the time it's all done, I'm picking the equipment up off the lawn in the dark while this big-ass cop is glaring down at me from the doorstep demanding I get the hell off the property or he was going to arrest me for trespassing and a bunch of other trumped up charges. I pleaded with him to understand that I was just doing my job and managed to convince him that I wasn't about to go attacking them with a vacuum. So I pack up, regained my bearings and started walking to the nearest payphone.
Now, I thought the fact I'd packed up and was leaving the property would be enough for him to understand that I wasn't going to go strong-arming the little old lady with the vacuum. But as I started walking down the block I hear him come out of the house and look over my shoulder to see him walk out and get into his car.
"Well, cool, everyone's going home," I thought.
Nope, he started the car and slowly started following me down the block in the middle of the night. He followed me for three blocks and circled a couple times to make sure I wasn't going back while I was busy on the payphone trying to get my manager on the phone to demand he pick me up.
In all my panic, I never thought to look at his badge number so I could report his ass. When I finally got in contact with my manager about the cop coming to rough me up he said I should have kicked his ass since he was off-duty. So clearly my manager was an idiot. Best part? This was the third time I'd had cops (on and off duty) called on me while working for that company. I quit a week later after the manager tried to blame me for "failed sales".
Moral of the story? Never take a door-to-door sales job - people take that shit seriously.
