Have you ever cheated in a relationship?

[Canadamus Prime]

In the words of Dr. Suess:
I would not, could not in car nor on a train or in the dark,
I would not, could not in a house, I wouldn't even look down her blouse.
I would not could not here or there, I would not do that anywhere.

 

[Broady Brio]

Can't say it's happened to me. Nor have I done it myself.
As said above me, if I wanted to be with someone else, I'd like to think I'd end the relationship first before pursuit of other people follows.

 

[The Funslinger]

So, have you ever wrongfully cheated in a relationship? In any form, also, views on cheating. I don't think it's wrong to be cheating if you're not happy in the relationship your in.

Well, my view is that cheating is never right, even if you're unhappy. If there's an issue, try to work on it. If it can't be fixed, end the relationship before you start trying to shack up with other people. Your partner's still a person, and very likely happy with the relationship, and trusts you.

In general, I think if someone thinks unhappiness in a relationship justifies cheating, they're probably the problem to begin with.

Never.

Loyal unto death is my family motto, and I intend to keep it that way.

Mine's "Hard Work and Diligence". Probably why I'm such a skilled and giving lover!

I did get cheated on, and it seemed a fair enough mistake given the circumstances, but ultimately she ran away from the whole thing and took any decision about whether to move past it in the relationship or remain friends out of my hands.

 

[BernardoOne]

Nope, and never will. If i want to be with somebody else, i will end the the relationship first.

 

[Jedoro]

No, but I have been the other guy. It was just a kiss, but knowing I failed to meet my standard of decent human being, it's always bothered me.

 

[Yosato]

Cheating on your partner is - in my mind - one of the lowest, scummiest and most hurtful things you can possibly do to someone. I hate dishonesty. And no, I'm not speaking here as some bitter douchebag who's been cheated on in the past. I never have, but part of me knows that if it ever did happen to me then I'd be devastated beyond belief. Ditch your current partner before you find another; I can't see any real excuse for not doing aside from pure shameful cowardice.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

So, did you ever cheat?

No. Which is not to say I never would. I'd like to think I never would, but only preening idiots say "never" about this kind of thing as though they don't drink water and breathe air like the rest of us fucking mammals.

EDIT: Whoops. Except Daystar, he's cool.

Did you ever get cheated on?

Yes. It sucked, but I forgave her. Years later, we're still friends.

I'm not sure how you came to the conclusion that there's "nothing wrong with it" though. Of course there's something wrong with it. You can make the argument that it's sometimes understandable, or that it's different for everyone, because those are fair arguments. Just hand-waving it as "there's nothing wrong it it, woop woop" though, smacks of some pretty lazy self-validating.

Too late Guppy.
[sub][sub]You're on the list.[/sub][/sub]

 

[Dr Jones]

Snip

Great story and all.. But I gotta start gettin' used to saying "knock my boots", damn that is awesome <.<

 

[The Pinray]

Yes, once. I regret it wholly. It's just not worth it.

I was an idiot back in high school.

 

[shrekfan246]

So, did you ever cheat?

Why, I'm cheating right now!
[sub]I'm not really.[/sub]

Bad jokes aside, yeah, I've done it, and I've been cheated on before. Now, granted, part of it is also because I have an extremely complicated relationship going with this one girl that's been off-and-on for about six years now and I'm never really sure where we're actually at anymore. She's been the girl I've cheated on and the girl I've cheated with, as far as technicalities are concerned. She's also cheated on someone else with me while I was single and she wasn't...

As far as my views on it go, it sucks. I feel guilty about doing it, I feel angry about it being done to me. If I were given a concrete reason to believe that previously mentioned six-year relationship were to suddenly become not-so-complicated anymore, I would most definitely be singularly loyal to her because I'm not the type of person to go around town looking for random girls to rut with.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

Yep. Back in 06 or, 07 when I was still with my high school GF. I was taking a night Japanese course and one of my peers looked like a fetish model...and was interested in me to the point that we made out a couple of times. It was worth it too as she was absolutely stacked.

...I'm a horrible person, aren't I? Either way, when I realized how easy it was for me to do something like that it made me realize how little I was invested in that relationship. I broke it off and ended up not seeing either person again since I dropped out of CC very shortly thereafter. That's the only time I ever cheated (because I don't count random encounters on omegle as a form of cheating)

 

[Nieroshai]

So, have you ever wrongfully cheated in a relationship? In any form, also, views on cheating. I don't think it's wrong to be cheating if you're not happy in the relationship your in. It only becomes a problem when the person you're dating is providing everything you need. I am guilty of emotional cheating on one of my girlfriends, and there is nothing wrong with that. So, did you ever cheat? Did you ever get cheated on?

Edit: Okay, before this becomes a "chew out the OP's opinion" thread, I'd like to clarify. When I say it's okay if you're not happy, I'm talking about when you're telling yourself "Well it's this or nothing nobody else will date me." When it's more like you have a resource draining ***** for a partner and not somebody who really cares for you.

I hope you realize at this point that there are ethical alternatives to cheating when a relationship makes you unhappy. Breaking up is the obvious one. Feel whatever you wish, of course, but there must be some pretty crazy circumstances in order for cheating to be the best possible option. Instead of the (if you think about it, basically stupid and naive) decision to keep the "resource draining ***** for a partner" around and just make yourself miserable and are tapping some other guy or girl on the side but haven't left, why wouldn't just leaving make you happier since she's not around and you're with the girl you wanted? I'm sure you have a rebuttal, but leaving is so much cleaner than cheating and has less drama and baggage. Besides, you will probably be dumped when caught anyway; why wait?


EDIT: For reasons listed above, I would never cheat. I would man up and say the relationship isn't working out, and part ways with a reasonable amount of dignity.

 

[Zantos]

My first ever girlfriend cheated on me. I knew it had happened a few times, but after we broke up I discovered it was more like an average of twice to three times a week over a three month period.

Sometimes later I went out with a girl who it is entirely debatable if she cheated on me (she debated, but I reckon it was), but at the end of our relationship I did cheat on her with the girl who would be my next girlfriend. This is the one time I most deeply regret.

This girl I cheated on twice, then she left me for a guy it turns out she'd been cheating on me with.

I have since been rethinking the way my relationships run.

 

[game-lover]

Oh boy! One of these threads! I always have to test my restraint on this topic. But I can never just avoid. I'm bad at that.

Anyway, to answer your question: I've never been in a relationship so I've never cheated or been cheated on. But I NEVER will. Don't care what the second poster in this thread believes. Because there's no excuse for that shit. And if I was cheated on, I'm pretty sure I'd dump them. I'd been thinking lately if I could ever see myself forgiving and staying in a relationship by reading forums and stuff but I just don't think I can. Pretty sure cheating is my deal breaker.

Which brings me to my views...

I don't believe there's ever a reason to cheat. And the one you mentioned in particular sounds kind of pathetic. Instead of being a man or a woman, dumping the person who doesn't make you happy and taking the risk that comes with dating and all that, you'll just be a coward who would rather be unfaithful. Because God forbid, you could break up with somebody. That's too much work. Oh, it will be so hard to find somebody to date me if I dump this horrible person. Well, there's a lot of people who don't date former cheaters so that's bound to help your chances now.

But yeah, that sums it up. I really, really am against cheating. Not even morally though that's a big one. It's just unfucking fair. How many cheaters would be able to dish it but not take it?

For any friends I ever make, if it ever comes up, they will know they'd better hide it from me if they are currently cheating. Because if I find out, our friendship is in jeopardy. I will out them if they don't do it first and damn the consequences.

Once upon a time, I used to believe in revenge cheating. Fair is fair and all of that. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. But now, not so much anymore. Why do it when you can just kick the cheater to the curb and hook up with someone else? Not only will the ex--if they're still claiming they still "love" you or whatever--have to deal with the fact that you're with someone new. But to top it off, you can add salt to the wound by expressing gleefully that they will never have you again.

No kissing, no sex. Gesture to your body and express they are never getting "this" again.

Also, the whole cheating incident is another reason I can add to not wanting kids. Because if I ever marry and my husband cheats on me, I don't wanna have to worry about "staying for the children" or any of that type of crap. Wanna be able to cut and sever all ties like a snap.

 

[GroovyV]

I did cheat, i guess twice, technically thrice? since the person that i was cheating with, didn't know that i hadn't broken it off with the other person. In all honesty, i don't even condone cheating, but back then, senior year of high school, the relationship started off really nice, but then little by little my bf started getting really demanding, easily upset with me, and to be honest, at least half was my bad. If i'd tried harder, i could've avoided a lot of the problems, but how mad he got, and so often, really disheartened me. The person i cheated with, was actually quite the slut, and a dick, but i only used him for the sexual stuff.

I tried breaking off with him, but then he started crying, and this was at school, though somewhere secluded, and i felt horrible for causing the tears, so i took it back, and tried harder. But problems were still there, and he still made me feel like i wasn't trying harder, even though by then i was giving it my all. Only so much sneaking around you can do when your parent doesn't want you seeing someone, and the person doesn't appreciate your effort.

In regards to that relationship, i felt bad that i didn't try harder at first, and the few times we talked after it ended (his still doesn't know i cheated), he told me about this new guy, and honestly, i felt happy he had someone better. Even if he only told me to make me feel bad. I don't altogether feel bad about the cheating though.

Second person i cheated on turned out to be a complete douche, or at least turned into one. He wouldn't agree to us breaking up, so i pretty much just messed around without telling him. Virtually no guilt in any sense whatsoever.

I'm hoping that when i do find someone who i can click with, now that im an adult with a car, and know what i really want, i use what i learned, and wont allow myself any chances to cheat. I wanna be happy.

And i'm sorry to any who read this thinking my passage was a waste of time. Never written out something here this long.

 

[game-lover]

I don't believe there's ever a reason to cheat. And the one you mentioned in particular sounds kind of pathetic.

...But to top it off, you can add salt to the wound by expressing gleefully that they will never have you again. No kissing, no sex. Gesture to your body and express they are never getting "this" again

Because that's not pathetic.

I love how it's always "It's so bad to cheat, but acting like an immature 12 year old? Brilliant".

On a related note:

I don't think so, no. Of course, I didn't mean literally in that fashion. No one's gonna prance around like that person in the video was described.

More like if the ex comes back, you can lead them on and then shut them down. Brutally. Because you want them to suffer. And exes seem to suffer a lot at times when they lose you.

 

[Slayer_2]

Hah, I wish...

Calm down, I'm kidding, kind of. If someone better had come along while I was dating the two miserable shrews I was seeing, I would have just dumped them faster and hooked up with the other chick.