Have you ever cheated in a relationship?

[game-lover]

I don't think so, no. Of course, I didn't mean literally in that fashion. No one's gonna prance around like that person in the video was described.

More like if the ex comes back, you can lead them on and then shut them down. Brutally. Because you want them to suffer. And exes seem to suffer a lot at times when they lose you.

You know what makes one a bigger asshole than a cheater? Exactly what you described. You want to make someone suffer? That's psychopathic.

That behavior is disgusting. Straight up emotional abuse. I've never wanted my exes to suffer, because I'm not fucking psychotic.

They say extreme pain can make you crazy.

Look, I'm not just talking every cheater. If an ex was sorry and regretful and filled with remorse, then I'd let it go. I'd still probably never take him back, my respect for him would still be gone but eventually, I'm sure I could forgive him.

But the ones who aren't sorry? Who see nothing wrong with cheating? Who have probably happily and with no reservations even enjoyed being the other man because who gives a fuck as the betrayed husband? The ones who are callous, whose reasons are they weren't getting enough sex. Who have no remorse or regret? I'm sorry. But if one of those had betrayed me, you're damn right, I'd want them to suffer. Because they sure didn't give a shit if I suffered and it's been said that cheating can also be a form of emotional abuse.

More power to you if you take the high road or more accurately, know that you will. I can't promise I could if any man ever hurt me like that.

If that makes me an asshole so be it. I've longed come to the conclusion that I'm a vindictive ***** inside.

 

[Meatspinner]

I once cheated on my right hand with the my left one. I still haven't summoned up the courage to tell it.

 

[ffs-dontcare]

No, but I have been in the position of the person who the girl cheats on her partner with (if that makes sense).

But that was five years ago. I'm not like that now.

 

[Dragonclaw]

I don't think so, no. Of course, I didn't mean literally in that fashion. No one's gonna prance around like that person in the video was described.

More like if the ex comes back, you can lead them on and then shut them down. Brutally. Because you want them to suffer. And exes seem to suffer a lot at times when they lose you.

You know what makes one a bigger asshole than a cheater? Exactly what you described. You want to make someone suffer? That's psychopathic.

That behavior is disgusting. Straight up emotional abuse. I've never wanted my exes to suffer, because I'm not fucking psychotic.

They say extreme pain can make you crazy.

Look, I'm not just talking every cheater. If an ex was sorry and regretful and filled with remorse, then I'd let it go. I'd still probably never take him back, my respect for him would still be gone but eventually, I'm sure I could forgive him.

But the ones who aren't sorry? Who see nothing wrong with cheating? Who have probably happily and with no reservations even enjoyed being the other man because who gives a fuck as the betrayed husband? The ones who are callous, whose reasons are they weren't getting enough sex. Who have no remorse or regret? I'm sorry. But if one of those had betrayed me, you're damn right, I'd want them to suffer. Because they sure didn't give a shit if I suffered and it's been said that cheating can also be a form of emotional abuse.

More power to you if you take the high road or more accurately, know that you will. I can't promise I could if any man ever hurt me like that.

If that makes me an asshole so be it. I've longed come to the conclusion that I'm a vindictive ***** inside.

I've always gone with 'living well is the best revenge'. My ex wife?...her life is awful. She lives in a crappy neighborhood, has a crappy job that she hates and doesn't pay well, had to file for bankruptcy...mostly because the guy she was cheating with took her to the cleaners before going back to hs wife. Meanwhile I'm pretty happy, I'm a business owner with a job I love, and since we still have quite few mutual friends all the good that happens in my life ends up fltering back to her and from what I've heard drives her crazy with the regret of "what could have been". There has been no need for any "you can't have this" because that is quite clear without me saying a word. Sometimes you can be just as vengeful without saying a word.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

Oh boy! One of these threads! I always have to test my restraint on this topic. But I can never just avoid. I'm bad at that.

Anyway, to answer your question: I've never been in a relationship so I've never cheated or been cheated on. But I NEVER will. Don't care what the second poster in this thread believes. Because there's no excuse for that shit. And if I was cheated on, I'm pretty sure I'd dump them. I'd been thinking lately if I could ever see myself forgiving and staying in a relationship by reading forums and stuff but I just don't think I can. Pretty sure cheating is my deal breaker.

Which brings me to my views...

I don't believe there's ever a reason to cheat. And the one you mentioned in particular sounds kind of pathetic. Instead of being a man or a woman, dumping the person who doesn't make you happy and taking the risk that comes with dating and all that, you'll just be a coward who would rather be unfaithful. Because God forbid, you could break up with somebody. That's too much work. Oh, it will be so hard to find somebody to date me if I dump this horrible person. Well, there's a lot of people who don't date former cheaters so that's bound to help your chances now.

But yeah, that sums it up. I really, really am against cheating. Not even morally though that's a big one. It's just unfucking fair. How many cheaters would be able to dish it but not take it?

For any friends I ever make, if it ever comes up, they will know they'd better hide it from me if they are currently cheating. Because if I find out, our friendship is in jeopardy. I will out them if they don't do it first and damn the consequences.

Once upon a time, I used to believe in revenge cheating. Fair is fair and all of that. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. But now, not so much anymore. Why do it when you can just kick the cheater to the curb and hook up with someone else? Not only will the ex--if they're still claiming they still "love" you or whatever--have to deal with the fact that you're with someone new. But to top it off, you can add salt to the wound by expressing gleefully that they will never have you again.

No kissing, no sex. Gesture to your body and express they are never getting "this" again.

Also, the whole cheating incident is another reason I can add to not wanting kids. Because if I ever marry and my husband cheats on me, I don't wanna have to worry about "staying for the children" or any of that type of crap. Wanna be able to cut and sever all ties like a snap.

Ya know I use to have the same mentality, like fuck cheating that's something I'm never going to do!

Then my relationship with my high school sweet heart soured.... And, trust me you don't know what it's like till you been there and hopefully you never will, but if you eventually get stuck in a dead husk of a relationship- getting to the point where it's clear you and your partner have both grown apart and should end it but can't bring yourself to do it... It's terrible, it's like a prison. I never did cheat on her, but I could totally understand after experiencing that why people do cheat on their spouses. People just get to the point they don't just want to walk away from the relationship they've spent years emotionally invested in, even though they really ought to.

It's still a dick move, don't get me wrong, but most people don't do dick things with the idea of being a dick, ya know? In everyones head, we're the protagonists. Anyway, just saying it seems black and white on the outside but being in one shit gets really fucking grey.

I can't imagine even being in a relationship anymore after that mess.

 

[Obsideo]

I have, and it's easily one of the worst decisions of my life.


Thankfully, I've conquered the impulses now, but for a while, I was bad about it.

What people don't realize is that as soon as you begin cheating, you start seeing other people as cheaters. I think there's a saying somewhere that puts it better than this, but it basically boils down to "You see your own faults in other people". So after I began cheating, I got paranoid that all my girlfriends were also cheating on me, just because I was projecting myself onto them. After that, it got even worse because I'd start to cheat in advance because I felt that without a doubt, I was going to get cheated on, so I wanted to have done it first, just to balance things out in my mind.

Yeah. It got pretty fucked up. Luckily, I had some time to think things over for myself and I've stopped since then, but don't ever cheat, you only fuck yourself over.

 

[Vamantha]

I have never physically had sex with another person while in a relationship. I have been emotionally connected to other people while in a relationship. I don't think your cheating unless something physical happened, but if your emotionally pining for someone else you should probably take a look at your current relationship. The joys of learning the world of dating do's and don'ts.

I have been cheated on before at least twice. The first one was pretty hard for me and it was probably the turning point where I stopped dating for a long time and only wanted sex. During that period I hooked up with a guy for a friends with benefits thing. He was always pushing for us to be boyfriend-girlfriend thing and even asked me a couple times to marry him. I knew he was cheating on me with a couple different people. For someone who "was an expert at the internet" he sucked at hiding his adventures. It didn't bother me and he disappeared for six months. I later learned he did have a girlfriend. I broke off the FWB deal after that. Funny thing is six months later he contacted me again. Begged me for forgiveness, said he was going to leave his girlfriend for me, and all this other crap.

 

[manic_depressive13]

Nah, I would never do that. I don't think I'd be overly bothered about it if my boyfriend cheated on me. I'd be willing to talk it out and wouldn't reflexively dump him. However, even though it's not a big deal to me I know that it can be a big deal to other people, so I would just end the relationship if I ever felt the urge to sleep with someone else.

 

[Cranky]

I once cheated on my right hand with the my left one. I still haven't summoned up the courage to tell it.

I can relate to that, but I cheated on my left instead.

OT: It's quite terrible to cheat. I know I'd go into a manic depression if I ever was cheated on. It's one of the benefits to not being involved in relationships I guess.

 

[Vegosiux]

No, it isn't particularly psychopathic to have a bit of revenge against absolute scum.

"A bit" of revenge against "absolute scum"? Let's just say that's liable to go down to where we generally shouldn't want it to go. It never stops at "a bit". And it's never an "irredeemable, complete monster".

That said, I have had some colorful ideas for people who have wronged me in the past, one way or another...but, uh, acting on those would have been rather psychopatic, yes.

 

[Clearing the Eye]

Never.

Loyal unto death is my family motto, and I intend to keep it that way.

Get it tattooed across your back like a baws.

OT: I got dumped because I chose to play some more Star Wars: The Old Republic instead of have sex. I guess that's a form of cheating >_>

 

[Vegosiux]

No, it isn't particularly psychopathic to have a bit of revenge against absolute scum.

"A bit" of revenge against "absolute scum"? Let's just say that's liable to go down to where we generally shouldn't want it to go. It never stops at "a bit". And it's never "irredeemable, complete monster".

Yes, it can stop at a bit. And since when did scum mean complete monster?

I'm sorry, the use of the word "absolute" made me think you meant something along those lines. You know, absolutely bad, with no redeeming qualities.

 

[malestrithe]

I did not cheat with my then Girlfriend. I should have as that might have saved me years of misery being with a woman who I did not get along with. She took an opportunity to cheat on me and called it off soon after.