Have you ever considered suicide?
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I was a very self-conscious, delicate teenager. When I was about 12 I was very fat and ugly and had no real friends. The closest I came to doing something stupid was thinking: "If things ever get too tough, there's always a way out". But now I'm 20, handsome and generally awesome. Things always get better
I've thought about it, most people have probably. But i've never seriously thought about doing it however, no matter how depressed and sad I can be.
Someone once thought I was suicidal, bit I don't think I seriously ever have been. I have considered how I would do it if I was ever depressed and I have gone through some low points in life; but no, I don't think I would, and even if I would, I don't think I could.
Yes, I have considered suicide. Not much else to say on the matter, really.
I have my reasons. Some people will understand, some won't, some will be angry for me even considering it, some may pity.
All of which is pointless.
If it comes down to it, then it happens. It is only a last resort.
I have my reasons. Some people will understand, some won't, some will be angry for me even considering it, some may pity.
All of which is pointless.
If it comes down to it, then it happens. It is only a last resort.
"Dying voluntarily implies that you have recognized, even instinctively, the ridiculous character of that habit, the absence of any profound reason for living, the insane character of that daily agitation, and the uselessness of suffering." The Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus.
Yes, but only in the same way as I would consider any option available to me at a point in time.
Given any form of choice, or should I be in any stable (for me) frame of mind, it is not a course of action I would ever allow myself to take.
Given any form of choice, or should I be in any stable (for me) frame of mind, it is not a course of action I would ever allow myself to take.
I have thought about it and have been thinking about trying but I'm just to afraid of it and also if i do it I do not gain anything i just lose around 70-80 years of my life, the feeling of love and all other happy go luck stuff. For what the pain of doing it? The pain it brings my family? And the emptiness that lies a head.
It was a thought. It had a weak argument, didn't last long and wasn't enough to conflagrate any action.
But even so, its occurrence haunted me.
But even so, its occurrence haunted me.
Sometimes every other day, but usually every other week. Every so often, it comes to a peak at once an hour.
To be fair, it's not that I think about suicide in the usual sense. It's more along the lines of, "Everyone's lives would be better if I were dead. I would stop complicating matters and allow everyone to go on with their lives if I wasn't here."
And then there's the "if I get into a car accident and die, that would be nice" thoughts as I drive home. But then I realize that the person who crashes into me might also get hurt, and I start hoping for a random satellite to drop out of orbit and hit me.
These thoughts stem from feeling like a drain on civilization. All it takes is a strong suspicion that the world would be better off without my bungling, and away my thoughts race!
But, yes, I have problems. I should talk to my therapist about them today during my appointment. It might help if he communicated via lolcats, or something.
To be fair, it's not that I think about suicide in the usual sense. It's more along the lines of, "Everyone's lives would be better if I were dead. I would stop complicating matters and allow everyone to go on with their lives if I wasn't here."
And then there's the "if I get into a car accident and die, that would be nice" thoughts as I drive home. But then I realize that the person who crashes into me might also get hurt, and I start hoping for a random satellite to drop out of orbit and hit me.
These thoughts stem from feeling like a drain on civilization. All it takes is a strong suspicion that the world would be better off without my bungling, and away my thoughts race!
But, yes, I have problems. I should talk to my therapist about them today during my appointment. It might help if he communicated via lolcats, or something.
