Have you ever wanted to be mean-spirited?

[thejackyl]

The most recent time:

My ex-girlfriend and I dated for a little over a month. One week into our relationship she gets back together with her ex, and plays it off as "He's stalking her, and begging to get her back". Anyways, I tried to believe that and tried to make what we had work... it didn't.

After breaking up and thinking about it, I'm seeing things I wish I had seen before, and that I should be mad about, but I'm not. I just don't care anymore. I'm not mad because it's not worth my time and energy to BE mad.

I do wish I could be mad though. I want her to realize what she(or what I let her) put me through. Though the more I think about it, the more I think my anger isn't needed. She forced me away so she could be with someone who is controlling(Threatened to kill both of us if we didn't break up), abusive(the reason they broke up in the first place), selfish(When me and her were friends he always tried to keep us apart, and hardly ever let her go anywhere without him), and a lot of other mean words. She made her bed, let her lie in it.

Actually... putting that into words makes it seem a lot meaner than just going off on her.

 

[Ryotknife]

Yes, although I only fantasize about it.

About 2 years ago I got a new phone with a new number. Since then I am constantly hounded by different organizations looking for a Julio hernandez. Various debt agencies, social services, even his daughter's school. Ive explained the situation and they still call me.

Recently got a call a week ago about some company offering him a job. I SOOOO wanted to torpedo his chances....but I didn't, screwing with someone's livelihood is never a joke.

 

[HoneyVision]

Please! It's a constant challenge to try NOT to be constantly mean spirited. It's so easy to be a rancid **** to people, whether they deserve or not.

 

[Therumancer]

While I wouldn't call myself "mean spirited" I will say that I decided a good while ago that I wasn't going to be nice to everyone and everything for the sake of being nice. I try and remain fairly polite, but I've taken to thinking of things like political correctness as an anathema.

Mostly I don't say "mean" things for the simple sake of hurting people, but because I believe they happen to be correct, and sometimes it's what I think people need to hear, whether they appreciate it or not.

Now there are exceptions, I have emotional problems coming from brain damage, and keep myself on a tight leash for that reason, even with meds. When I lose it, I tend to REALLY lose it, and that includes saying a lot of things I don't mean or actually feel usually. But that's typically not rational or me setting out to do something.

 

[Colour Scientist]

I think after about 200 posts this became my outlet for mean-spiritness for the sake of it. At least I learned that forcing myself to participate yields poor results.

Off topic but I think the Captcha just friend-zoned me.

Don't worry, captcha's a stupid ***** for not seeing your hidden qualities and going off with that other asshole instead.
She'll get what's coming to her.

 

[somonels]

I think after about 200 posts this became my outlet for mean-spiritness for the sake of it. At least I learned that forcing myself to participate yields poor results.

Off topic but I think the Captcha just friend-zoned me.

Don't worry, captcha's a stupid ***** for not seeing your hidden qualities and going off with that other asshole instead.
She'll get what's coming to her.

This coming from the guy she did it with last.

See, mean.

 

[Mook_StyFawker]

Me? Mean spirited? HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BOY DO I HAVE STORIES. I won't go into details, but I'll sum it up with that I like to make songs with my friend that rip on terrible local bands that sometimes uses the music they play.

I'm pretty much a massive asshole to people I don't like, but I'm (supposedly) a decent guy to everyone else. Minus strangers, because I'm so socially awkward in real life I go out of my way to have very little contact with random people.

 

[Daveman]

Yes. I love, every now and again, being a dick. Everyone does.

So what if she wants to date someone who may or may not be an asshole? That's her choice.

I've never really agreed with that idea in principle. If you care about somebody you don't want them to do certain things that you think are bad for them, like dating assholes. Ultimately you think they're going to change from the person you like into somebody else or they might get hurt or whatever. It's not necessarily about wanting to control them, it could just be concern.

Exaggeration to prove point: "So what if she wants [to do heroin and may or may not become an absolute wreck]? That's her choice."

 

[Mr.Squishy]

I used to be a constant mean-spirited asshole, then I kind of mellowed out. Although if people repeatedly annoy me after I've told them to stop (bonus points for having no sense of personal space), I have been told my tone gets blunt, snippy and direct.

 

[Daveman]

Yes. I love, every now and again, being a dick. Everyone does.

So what if she wants to date someone who may or may not be an asshole? That's her choice.

I've never really agreed with that idea in principle. If you care about somebody you don't want them to do certain things that you think are bad for them, like dating assholes. Ultimately you think they're going to change from the person you like into somebody else or they might get hurt or whatever. It's not necessarily about wanting to control them, it could just be concern.

Exaggeration to prove point: "So what if she wants [to do heroin and may or may not become an absolute wreck]? That's her choice."

Nope. Care is one thing, meddling is whole different ballpark. Want to smoke? Drink alcohol? It is a choice. I'm not responsible for other people's actions or consequences in life. Look out for? Sure, within reason and with due respect towards them and myself. I'll only get involved in a friend's affairs if it's life threatening.

Well frankly, when I love somebody, I don't care about who's responsible or whether or not it's meddling. I certainly don't think about whether or not something I do is within reason. I don't even care if they'll resent me for it. I will certainly make myself involved in my friend's affairs if I think they need me to, not considering just whether something is life threatening, but affects their well-being in the slightest. That's more or less my definition of friendship. I'm just fortunate that none of my friends do any stupid shit that I need to correct, but I probably wouldn't be friends with them if they were the type to do that so I guess it all works out.

With my little sister, if I see a cigarette in her hand I'm sure as hell going to slap it out of her hand. Her choice be damned. Her choice is clearly stupid.

 

[Strazdas]

Wanted? i AM mean spirited. Cant go in depth there, i woudl get banned.

 

[Aramis Night]

I don't think it's that i'm mean spirited. I just don't understand what the opposite of mean spirited is. Is it insipid?

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

I think lately I've tended to be mean-spirited accidentally. I just say rather sarky things without thinking about them, and people take more offense than I expected.

I'd say partially this and partially that I have this petty internal desire to 'take down a peg' certain types of people that really get under my skin. I'd like to think for the most part that I least try not to be an asshole, though I can't really speak on how others perceive me.

 

[Mr F.]

Yes. I have wanted to be mean spirited.

My ex girlfriend dumped me because I was a bit miserable. To be fair, my father had just died. And I am a chronic depressive, its something I have had to deal with for my entire life. She knew about me being ill when we got together and she knew my father was dying of cancer. So when she dumped me, somewhat out of the blue, I was pretty torn up over it. And I have wanted to hate her, I have desperately wanted to have anger towards her. Anger is easier to deal with.

But I don't. At all. I love her. Because I do. Because she is the same person she was when we got together, she is amazing. And because I understand why she decided to kick me to the curb. Dealing with someone like me going through what I was going through is incredibly difficult. I know this, because I have dated people who have gone through similar in the past. And I was miserable.

So yes, I have wanted to be mean spirited. But it is not in my nature. I internalise my anger and unhappiness. I do not push it onto others.

According to the people I know, I am a nice guy. Not a Nice Guy(tm), but a nice guy. Apparently too nice. My flatmate keeps asking me why I am not angry, she doesn't understand why I get angry with her for calling my ex a *****.

Up until my last girlfriend I have attracted the... Well, the wrong type of girl. But I am growing up (Turned 21 in January) so I have got a lot better at working out someones character before getting near them. I should be bitter, the people around me think I should be bitter, my family even ask me why I am not bitter. I am just not. She was different from the others, she was not exploiting my kindness, she just loved me for it. She would say things like "You are more then your depression", something which nobody had ever said to me before.

I dunno.

Its very easy to be mean spirited. But it is equally easy to just be kind to everyone you meet.

Fitting song.