Having had time to think about the Xbox One...

[Starik20X6]

Uh huh. Hands-free porn.

With a camera that will be filming you all the time. [http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2013/05/24]

And knowing at any second you could get a Skype call from one of your friends... Just kidding, none of your friends were stupid enough to buy an Xbone.

[hr]

We'll also live in a world where you can troll people you know incredibly easily by commanding the Xbone to switch out of whatever they're in the middle of doing and telling their console to download the entire library of Justin Bieber music just by saying it out loud.

Griefing will be revolutionised forever.

Phase 1: Pop into an online game with a bunch of randoms

Phase 2: Wait for the game to be well underway

Phase 3: Scream "XBOX: OFF!" into the Kinect microphone

Phase 4: Struggle to breathe from laughing too hard as everyone's Xbones shut down in unison.

 

[Dirty Hipsters]

Try saying some of your fetishes out loud. It feels really weird. You kind of mumble them to yourself.

(not one of my fetishes, but)
User: search for... petplay... porn...
Xbone: I'm sorry, I couldn't understand you. Say it again.
User: Search for petplay porn.
Xbone: search for petplay porn what?
User: ...mistress.

There's also the logistics of remembering where you put your lube; that moment when you wonder if you remembered to put it back in your bedroom as your friends are making their way to your living room.

And finally, there's your friends asking what these mysterious stains on your couch are, and then suddenly not returning your calls.

There is nothing more difficult in this world than trying to use the mouse to look up more porn with your left hand whilst your right hand is covered in lube. Bring on this glorious future.

Why not just use your right hand to use the mouse, and let your left hand do the dirty work? For that matter, why are you still using your hand directly?

I'm surrounded by plebeians!

You can always hide the lube under your couch, and as for the stains, I have 2 words for you - leather cushions. You can adapt, everyone can adapt.