Heading to the pub alone....?

[rawfy]

hiya escapists!

I'm on to 21, a virgin, young boyish look (i get called cute....except it's never been directly, i seem to be hard to approach), loner (no bros....lol...), i seem to give off more of the 'creep' vibe then the 'alpha' or 'beta' male, probably won't come off as classy or intelligent....at the risk of sounding like a negative nancy..just not really outgoing.

I'm really attempted to take initiative to just go out there, and meet some nice girl to take off with and fuck. Again this is just initiative to open up some...and i'm starting to get disturbed at how obscure my porn is becoming...lol...

I'm not really big on drinking (i can tolerate it) whenever i do drink it's in a nice mellow privacy. I know it's encouraged to try talking to whoever you can but to be honest i find as much dread talking to the men, as i do women. When i need something from someone and have context i feel like i get along just fine....but after there's nothing to get out of them my genuine smile slowly starts to slip away, and i let them on there way.

I figured the way i'd go about it would be me going in and getting a 'jug' of beer (lol the word slipped me), grab a seat, and keep an eye out for anyone interested. I really don't like this idea though because i feel like i'm just going to get unwanted company, and end up resorting to something uncivil.....

can someone lend this young man some advising? like certain body language to look out for, what further initiative i should take, etc.. is this even something i should go through with being the hermit i am? I don't really hope to gain all too much, but I'm thinking just any kind of initiative would be a hell of an improvement. Initiative is today's word.

thank you!

 

[Svenparty]

The problem you are having is you are looking out for it when you should be hanging out with friends and having chance encounters. Otherwise you should be meeting girls in places more respectful such as classes and societies/clubs. This sounds like an okay plan but the "Creep" vibe is probably from seeming like you plan it too much.

 

[rawfy]

as much as i don't like to hear it, it's true...lol

I don't know what else to say raight now, perhaps i'll just go through with this and update this for further feedback.

 

[Robot n.o 9124791234]

If you see a woman you like, say one of these things:

"Excuse me, are you from Mars, because your ass is out of this world"
"Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? [she says she doesn't know] Enough to break the ice, hi my name is...."
"Hello, I'm an astronaut and my mission is to pilot my space shuttle into Uranus"
"You have beautiful eyes....I mean nipples"
"That must be jelly cos jam don't shake like that"
"That dress/shirt/etc looks great on you, but I think it would look better on my bedroom floor"
"Sorry to bother you, but do you know where the homeless shelter is?"

No, I don't know why I know so many of these

 

[WolfThomas]

If you see a woman you like, say one of these things:

"Excuse me, are you from Mars, because your ass is out of this world"
"Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? [she says she doesn't know] Enough to break the ice, hi my name is...."
"Hello, I'm an astronaut and my mission is to pilot my space shuttle into Uranus"
"You have beautiful eyes....I mean nipples"
"That must be jelly cos jam don't shake like that"
"That dress/shirt/etc looks great on you, but I think it would look better on my bedroom floor"
"Sorry to bother you, but do you know where the homeless shelter is?"

No, I don't know why I know so many of these

"Do you like whales?...Because there's a humpback at my place!"

So if you're going to go out, go out because you want to. Personally, when my friends aren't around, I'm quite fond of a night at the pub with the Wikipedia app on my phone in case no-one shows up. Good food, good beer, and a chance to read about the Big Bang or ancient Greece. Just gotta remember to look up once in a while. One doesn't want to look like that person who sits at the bar engrossed in a book so that everyone can see them sitting at the bar being engrossed in a book.

I used to live near a pub and I was trying to get on an honour board for drinking 100pints there in a year. This I did manage to achieve. But it was on the walk home from university, so I'd duck in and have a pint or two, maybe order a bar meal (they weren't too expensive) if I couldn't be bother cooking. In summer it was nice and re-freshing and in winter I'd sit in front of the fire. I'd read book or do school work and it was nice calming atmosphere.

I regret drinking all that beer a little but not the time I spent there.

 

[Valagetti]

hiya escapists!

I'm on to 21, a virgin, young boyish look (i get called cute....except it's never been directly, i seem to be hard to approach), loner (no bros....lol...), i seem to give off more of the 'creep' vibe then the 'alpha' or 'beta' male, probably won't come off as classy or intelligent....at the risk of sounding like a negative nancy..just not really outgoing.

I'm really attempted to take initiative to just go out there, and meet some nice girl to take off with and fuck. Again this is just initiative to open up some...and i'm starting to get disturbed at how obscure my porn is becoming...lol...

I'm not really big on drinking (i can tolerate it) whenever i do drink it's in a nice mellow privacy. I know it's encouraged to try talking to whoever you can but to be honest i find as much dread talking to the men, as i do women. When i need something from someone and have context i feel like i get along just fine....but after there's nothing to get out of them my genuine smile slowly starts to slip away, and i let them on there way.

I figured the way i'd go about it would be me going in and getting a 'jug' of beer (lol the word slipped me), grab a seat, and keep an eye out for anyone interested. I really don't like this idea though because i feel like i'm just going to get unwanted company, and end up resorting to something uncivil.....

can someone lend this young man some advising? like certain body language to look out for, what further initiative i should take, etc.. is this even something i should go through with being the hermit i am? I don't really hope to gain all too much, but I'm thinking just any kind of initiative would be a hell of an improvement. Initiative is today's word.

thank you!

Just talk to people, its not like their gonna tear your head off and lay their eggs in your corpse, if you get rejected, it happens, every time you get rejected, you'll learn from it.

 

[vacerious]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with an adult going to the pub alone. But if your purpose is to go and meet chicks, you're bound for disappointment because your are basing the success of your evening on circumstances you can't control. You've got no way of knowing if any single women will be out there or not, if anyone will be interested in you or not...

So if you're going to go out, go out because you want to. Personally, when my friends aren't around, I'm quite fond of a night at the pub with the Wikipedia app on my phone in case no-one shows up. Good food, good beer, and a chance to read about the Big Bang or ancient Greece. Just gotta remember to look up once in a while. One doesn't want to look like that person who sits at the bar engrossed in a book so that everyone can see them sitting at the bar being engrossed in a book.

But honestly if you're looking for a one-night stand you are better off going to a proper bar or club I think.

Hmm, fine drinks, fine literature, and the good ole' pub atmosphere to compliment it? I might just have to try this sometime, though maybe with an ebook instead of wikipedia.

But steering ever diligently back onto the original topic, good sir, what you lack is confidence, and it sounds like you could use a big ole' heap of it. So allow me to first educate you on a few things you need to know before trying to pick up a woman. And no, you're not getting a handy little "tl;dr" at the end of this post. If you want my advice, you'll be reading all of it.

*Make some friends, first. It is appealing to jump right into such a complex and enriching relationship with another human being, but those types of relationships are also hard work and can be taxing on your emotions if you have no one else to talk to. You mentioned not having any "bros," which is what I find truly disturbing. Girlfriends are great, but those manner of relationships can break down easily and leave you devastated when they do. That's why friends are important, because real friends don't break up with you. Friends are the emotional support upon which other relationships are based. And making friends is a lot easier than finding a girlfriend. Find places where people do the same things you like to do in your spare time. Like anime? See if there's a local anime club and join. Like video games? Find a local gamestop and just browse until you strike up a conversation with somebody. It can be difficult to trust people at first, but here's the thing: a true friend has the power to leave you alone to your own demons, but a true friend, instead, chooses to help you fight those demons.

*Second, go do some exercise and/or learn a little about seduction and fashion. Preferably both. I'm not saying "Go out and buy, like, $6000 of hot new duds to impress the ladies." I'm not saying "Go out and beef yourself up into a Strongman competitor." I'm not saying "Go out and become the next Casanova." Just go and buy yourself a new shirt (NOT a t-shirt) and pair of pants (NOT jeans or shorts) that look nice, hit the gym once or twice a week, and/or bring your conversational skills up to par. Women don't want just one thing in their men, and quietly sitting by yourself looking lonely with a pitcher of ale ISN'T going to work. Women prefer men with confidence because confident men face their problems to fix them instead of running away. And confident men look to improve where they have flaws rather than hide behind them with drugs and booze.

*Third, sex isn't everything. I was in a similar situation as you, OP. I was lonely with no female companionship in my life. I thought it was impossible for me to lose my virginity and looked upon it like a disfiguring curse that I had been born with. Eventually, I met a young lady who wound up being my first. And it was cool for a while. I felt like I was on top of the world. But eventually, I started to see past the shallow fluff and whispered (read: texted) pillow talk and understood that our relationship was only based on the sex, and that it wasn't cutting it out for me. As it became clearer and clearer to me, I started to drift away because I knew that she couldn't fulfill all of my needs as a relationship partner. The young lady and I are still good friends, and to be honest, I find our current relationship is more fulfilling than when we were seeing each other as "activity partners."

*Finally, you need to know something. Something very important. Something that, after I'm done telling you, you need to assure yourself every time you feel like the world has you pinned and there's no where else to go.

You
Are
AWESOME!

You're more courageous than you give yourself credit for. You were stuck in a situation where you knew you needed help, and you chose to let the world know "I am a lonely 21 year old virgin and I'm sick and tired of being this way." Where others would suffer in silence, you chose to raise your voice. Every person has the potential to make themselves into something greater, but only courageous men choose to act upon it. Courageous men look to where others have said "It's impossible" and reply "Why not? Let me show you." By choosing self-improvement over self-pity, you've already shown yourself capable of the drive necessary to become a truly great person. So allow me to repeat myself. You. Are. Awesome!

I hope my, admittedly, windy observations help you out on further journeys.