Headlines you'd like to see

[propertyofcobra]

"International religion banned, replaced with reason and logic"
"Master Chief to be killed in new 'Halo' movie, fanboys suicide by the thousand"
"Haruhi Suzumiya declared overqueen of the universe, S.O.S Brigade divide world between them evenly"
"Kira gaining followers in Japan, crime at an all-time low"
"Fox News shut down permanently as high-ranking board members are arrested for murder, "they threw an Xbox 360 out 40th story window and hit Jack Thompson in the head" witnesses say"

 

[monodiabloloco]

"American Government Disbanded. Freedom to be Reinstated."

" 'Geek' is the new Sexy. Gamers Finally Get Game."
"Millions of Parents Rejoyce: Gamers Get Own Homes Leaving Basements at Last."
"

 

[Haliwali]

"Jack Tohmpson is audited: Owns majority share in Take 2"

 

[tiredinnuendo]

"Jack Thompson secretly an employee of Rockstar's PR department"
"Christopher Hewett and Wilford Brimley combine to form Voltron. Earth Saved from Giant Monsters"
"Everyone Who Can't Just Keep Their Opinions about Religion, Up or Down, to Themselves will be Mauled by Bears in Largest Superbowl Halftime Show Ever. Bears Rock. Except the Chicago Bears."
"Paris Hilton and that Chick with the Big Nose from Sex in the City Revealed to be not Hot in the Slightest. 'What were we thinking?' asks World"

- J

 

[ComradeJim270]

At the same time:

"Bethesda Files for Bankruptcy; Sells Rights to Fallout"
"Black Isle Back in Business, Fallout Devs Reunited!"
"Fallout 3 Will Be Made by Original Fallout Devs!"
"Todd Howard: "I'm sorry I'm such a douchebag""

In other, more profound news:

"US Officially Socializes Healthcare"
"Death Penalty Abolished in US"
"Jordan Peaceably Reclaims West Bank"

 

[ComradeJim270]

"New Labour disbanded overnight. Old Labour reborn with Tony Benn at the helm" (Apologies if that didn't make sense to non-Britons.

What the hell would that mean?

 

[General Ma Chao]

"Wiretapping and tracking services now to be used to find and eradicate internet assholes"

"Internet assholery is now a capital crime"

 

[GenHellspawn]

"All major media is hijacked by 4chan, all american children ruined"

 

[Glitches are cool]

"Jack Thompson arrested, pleads insanity, no one surprised."

"Yahtzee officially quits from video game reviewing, hundreds commit suicide."

"Scientology defeated by internet, disbands. Internet comments, "Hubbard closed due to AIDS.""

"Reviewers: Dreamcast revived, best console ever."

"MSG4 design team does their best, Blu-Ray still lacking in memory. Fanboys freak."

"Breaking: Super Smash Bros Brawl preforms poorly, fans lynch themselves with Wii Nunchucks."

 

[njsykora]

"Sega officially announce Dreamcast 2, gamers orgasm to death."

"Microsoft: There are reliability issues with Xbox 360."

"Radiohead split up."

"Ron Paul named Republican candidate for president."

"Tom Cruise comes out of closet to worldwide indifference."

 

[Kayevcee]

"Windowsalternative goes live, open source group tells MS to get stuffed"

"Faster-Than-Light Trial Successful"

"INTELLIGENT DESIGN PROPONENTS SEEK VATICAN SUPPORT"
"Force lightninged into oblivion by Pope"

"G8 Nations remember 2000 promise to write off 3rd world debt"

Other pseudo-political mumbo jumbo.

-Nick

 

[thebobmaster_v1legacy]

Hasn't Microsoft already admitted reliability issues with the launch 360's?


"Jack Thompson disbarred, exiled to Mexico to live out his days"

"Britney Spears dies, three people found to shed a tear"

"MTV goes bankrupt, decides to pull out of the television business"

 

[Katana314]

"HL2: Episode Three to come out on time."

"New game, soon to be released, is not a sequel to any game made before it"

"Someone has bought an N-Gage"

"Generic Jack Thompson Joke"

"IGN ranks the relatively unknown title 95 because 'it's actually good' "

"Yahtzee has no complaints upon Halo 4."

"G-man revealed to be Gordon Freeman's son from the future. Marc Laidlaw unavailable for comment; presumed to have committed suicide"

"LucasArts CEO: "Wait, we used to make adventure games?"

"Bioshock 2 not in development"

"Local man achieves high score on Wii Weather"

"Windows Vienna fails to screw over gamers. Microsoft stock plummets as their operating system fails to maintain its boring image." (long headline but whatever)