help a desperate guy out!

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Xhumed

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Jun 15, 2008
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Just realised I'm not really qualified to give advice on this topic, since every girl I've been with has asked me out, not the other way around :-/
 

Easykill

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Sep 13, 2007
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Hell, I'm willing to bet I'm worse than you are. Girls are the only thing I really have trouble with, and quite frankly, I'm a coward concerning them. I have never asked a girl out, and when a girl asked me out I was half-convinced it was some sort of trap because I didn't know why she was asking me out.
 

Duck Sandwich

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Dec 13, 2007
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Hmm. Necroswanson's most likely right. This is something that you'd be better off finding your own answers to. On second thought, what the hell. I'll humour you.

Whenever you get the chance to ask her out, remember the times when you chickened out. Remember how much that sucked? Yeah. Keep that memory fresh in your mind, and become determined never to experience that again. At least that worked for me.

Easykill post=18.69356.656814 said:
Hell, I'm willing to bet I'm worse than you are. Girls are the only thing I really have trouble with, and quite frankly, I'm a coward concerning them. I have never asked a girl out, and when a girl asked me out I was half-convinced it was some sort of trap because I didn't know why she was asking me out.
Heh. I've been there, man. I once got asked out by a girl who didn't even know me, who I had only talked to once before, for a few seconds. I went along thinking "Sure, why not? What have I got to lose?" Needless to say that relationship went nowhere, fast, as we didn't seem to have any common interests and any attempts at conversation resulted in drawing blanks.
 

qbert4ever

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Dec 14, 2007
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Well, since everyone else seems to be chiping in...

Just walk up to her, say "hey, wanna go do something *insert day here*?" and see what she says. The worst thing that will happen will be that she says no and you're no worse off then you are now. Who knows? She may even say yes. But just think about it like this, if you wimp out and avoid it, you'll regret it later when she's dating some random prick.
 

Handofpwn

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Aug 6, 2008
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Xhumed post=18.69356.656811 said:
Just realised I'm not really qualified to give advice on this topic, since every girl I've been with has asked me out, not the other way around :-/
Same here, I'm not sure if that's good or bad though, probably good. I always seem to just end up with a girlfriend with no decision on my part, but I usually don't mind. But a word of caution about this, if a friend asks you out, and you never really thought about asking her out, then you are just going to lose a friend, and that sucks. Trust me, this happened to me around last january.
 

BardSeed

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Aug 4, 2008
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Say: "Hey, look over there!", when she turns her head you can successfully slip your hands down her pants. But seriously, don't take that advice, unless you have a bottle of chloroform that is..
 

Duck Sandwich

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Dec 13, 2007
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Oh, and... when you get the chance to ask her out, don't run up to her, or else you might end up like this guy.

http://www.stupidvideos.com/video/stunts/High_School_Crush_Epic_Fail_1/#182265
 

Actual

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Jun 24, 2008
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Hey Dayne,

Noticed quite a cynical tone to a lot of these responses and I just wanted to put in some positive encouragement from my own experience. I started a relationship at age fifteen that lasted seven years and when we started I was a total wuss about talking to her. She eventually asked me out after we'd been friends for a little while. I know it's not the way men are supposed to act, but we need to learn that confidence somewhere and for me it was a slow, painful (as all learning is for me) process that was directly attributable to her presence in my life.

I quite like Syvari's 5-step plan to scoring, sounds like it could have a good success rate if you're smooth in pulling it off. But if you actually like this girl I wouldn't recommend it, you don't want to be stuck playing a role that's not natural for you.

I realise I've provided no practical advice, sorry I'm no expert on dating. Just don't ever let yourself get disheartened.
 

Tsurugi

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Jun 12, 2008
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Easykill post=18.69356.656814 said:
Hell, I'm willing to bet I'm worse than you are. Girls are the only thing I really have trouble with, and quite frankly, I'm a coward concerning them. I have never asked a girl out, and when a girl asked me out I was half-convinced it was some sort of trap because I didn't know why she was asking me out.
Only thing you have trouble with, I know you and I know that isn't true. I am also interested to know what girl asked you out.

As for the thread I would have to go with Easykill that I also wouldn't be much help as it is the exact same thing for me. I would always wimp out whenever I thought I had worked up the courage. I would say that trying to get the confidence to do it would actually help but that may not be possible. Try to find out what that person likes and work off of that but I am not the smartest person when it comes to girls so I wouldn't trust what I say as the best thing to do.
 

Easykill

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Tsurugi... It's the only thing I care about at all that I have trouble with, I wasn't lying. And I had never talked to the girl before, she just showed up at my math class in grade nine and asked me out. I told her I didn't even know her name, so we should probably get to know each other first. But then my awkwardness got in the way of talking for the next while and she stopped coming around. I didn't really like the way I handled it, so I didn't say anything about it to you guys.
 

Tsurugi

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Jun 12, 2008
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Well see now that you have reworded it, it makes more sense. The fact that is the only thing you care about that you are bad at might be true since there doesn't seem to be much that I have seen that you care about, that you aren't good at.
 

WolfMage

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May 19, 2008
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Must...resist.../b/ mode response...

Anywho, I can't really give advice, seeing as I'm seeking some myself, but I might as well try.

Be nice, hang out with her, and pretty much, just go with the flow, unless that flow is off a cliff. But really, listen to what everyone has said, they seem to at least kinda know what they're talking about.
 

Turbine2k5

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Aug 20, 2008
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I can't tell you HOW to get her to like you, but I can tell you how you should feel. It's pretty much a one rule pony:

If you cannot be yourself around her, then there is no point in chasing her.

This is assuming you're looking for a long term relationship, but if it's just one night stand material, then I can't help you with that.
 

Eyclonus

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Apr 12, 2008
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Its seems we get one of these threads every week.
My advice, take any bit of dating help from the net with a grain of salt. Although the girls and guys round here usually give reasonable advice.
 

EeveeElectro

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Aug 3, 2008
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Amnestic post=18.69356.656707 said:
giant pair of floating breats
I have yet to see a man call a woman a giant pair of floating breasts. I wait in breathless anticipation of that day, as the result will almost certainly be a show many people would pay good money to see.
I have!
He got slapped!
 

shufflemonkey16

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Mar 7, 2008
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Turbine2k5 post=18.69356.657112 said:
If you cannot be yourself around her, then there is no point in chasing her.
Very excellent point that you would to well to listen to.
I'm sure you'll get all sorts of different advice from people here, but my procedure with girls I'm interested in goes as such:

1. Get to know her and let her get to know you. Try to talk to her, hang out with her and her friends. If that's difficult to manage, try to make mutual friends. If you already have those, great.

2. Try to make the friendship closer through whatever opportunities you can find. Common interests or dilemmas and things. Anything that you find makes her more open in what she communicates in conversation, jump on that. And make sure she knows you're listening and you care about what she has to say. In order to make the friendship get closer, you also need to ask questions and talk about stuff that's very slightly beyond what might be considered appropriate for the current closeness of the friendship.

3. Try to read any signals that she might be giving. Positive signals (any kind of intentional touching including hitting playfully, consistently and constantly looking at you, etc.) means you need to get ready for the out asking. Since you are 15, I'd strongly suggest asking her out to a dance first. That way she's much more likely to say yes, and you can really see how you guys are in a pseudo-date situation.

Also, be very cautious and pensive. If you sense incompatibility, question yourself and a possible relationship. There's little point in having a relationship if you know it's going to just end with a break up and one or both of you being hurt. But, seeing as you've never been in a relationship, you're going to make mistakes. Learn from them.

Also, never get your hopes up too high. You never with her for sure until you're actually indisputably with her. In other words: don't count your chickens before they hatch, or it will majorly suck when they don't.

I was fifteen when I was in my first dating relationship, so I know what this is like for you. Good luck.

Edit: I also want to stress that, when it comes down to it, those who told you to just forget about it might be right. In my experience 95% of high school relationships are frivolous and pointless. Every once in a while there's a few that actually serve to help the people in it grow or *gasp* actually last.
 

Damin_Knight

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Jun 2, 2008
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when I first asked a girl out I was her friend first, then I blurted it out. Do not blurt it out, it makes a very akward conversation if she says no. my advice, stay calm.
 

Zombie_King

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May 26, 2008
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meatloaf231 post=18.69356.656645 said:
Here's a bit of advice: Don't. High school relationships, especially when you are fifteen, are pointless, frivolous, and doomed to failure within weeks. If you really really want to go out with this girl, then just hang out with her. Going to a movie or something with a bunch of people? Invite her. Group events really help break the ice because you aren't on the spot. You can get to know her, what she likes to do, etc. The thing about this is you have to be careful you don't fall into the Friend category and out of the Potential category, but don't just walk up and ask her out.

Also, what Amnestic said about laughing and stuff like that.
You're almost as cynical and angry as I am. ALMOST!
 

Bulletinmybrain

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Jun 22, 2008
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To quote yahtzee ^ Pretty much that(shufflemonkey.)

Middle school sucks cause most girls for some reason go for the 16 years who care for them very little.