Help: Get Parents to Accept the Fact that I am a Gamer/Otaku

[RatRace123]

I don't think you really can, you just have to live with it, as do your parents. Don't worry you don't have to fel guilty about liking nerdy things.
Also, don't be ashamed of the word "nerd" embrace it! We're all nerds here, and we're happy, nerds rule!

 

[Legion IV]

I, like many of the lovely visitors of this site, am an avid fan of gaming/anime/zombies/sci-fi/everything else that is commonly associated with what people perceive as being "nerdy" (No one likes the N-Word).

About 20 minutes ago, I was watching Gankutsuou: The Count of Monte Cristo. For those not in the know, Gankutsuou is the sci-fi adaptation of a 17th century French story of romance, revenge, phillosophy, justice, repentance, etc etc etc.

While in the middle of watching an action scene, my dad came up to the TV. I could see that he was struggling not to laugh, so I called him out on it. Denying it at first, he broke down and admitted that the show reminded him of a cartoon I had watched as a child called Liberty's Kids, about two teenagers witnessing the events of the American Revolution.

You may ask, "What do these two things have anything to do with each other?" The answer for my dad was, "They're both animated". I've bought several anime dvds, many maaaaannnnyyyy manga, and have a bleach and death note poster up in my room (Put up on the wall over my door so that no one will see it unless they are looking for it, my parent's condition for puting it up).

My question to the Escapisters (Escapees, Escapiters, etc ad infinitum) is this: How can I get my parents to accept the fact that I'm a "nerd" (here used to describe their point of view, as I hate that word with every fiber of my being) and stop making fun of my chosen mediums of entertainment (games, anime, etc)?

Oh also i forget to mention. Are you aware that otaku is actually an insult in japan? lol. Like no joke Nobody in japan would want to be called an otaku. I met a guy who came to my city from japan great guy name was Andy. When i brought up do you like anime are you an otaku? Jokingly cause by that time we are great friends. He said no he isint and that in japan the word otaku is actually used as an insult. They dont want to be called that. Being an otaku is actually worse then being a trekkie here apparently.

the term "otaku" is actually an insult in japanese and means "freak" not "anime freak".

 

[Not-here-anymore]

I sat down and asked that they watch an episode. My parents declined, saying that they weren't interested.

If I'd been here an hour or so earlier, I could have told you that that would be pretty much exactly the result.

I get plenty of flak from my step-father because I enjoy the odd video game, and he's one of those convinced that it is an entertainment form for children. (The '18' symbol on some games I own confuses him. It's hilarious) I've half-jokingly suggested that he try playing some of them, and he's always declined. It's an entertainment thing he's unfamiliar with, and thus hesitant/unwilling to accept.
My mother's perfectly OK with the idea that video games aren't just for children, but not entirely happy with the violent content. An entirely understandable view, I figure. However, surprisingly deep conversations have been had on the politics of Rapture, and the various themes of Limbo. It seems my direct family have a fairly liberal view towards this kind of thing. (EDIT: Don't try such conversations unless you know the other person will at least feign interest. My parents were great for letting me do pretty much anything that kept me happy provided I kept up with work etc..., and it was a definite bonus if said entertainment made me think. Hence the critical thematic dissection I perform of games/films/books, and the resultant conversations I can have about them. It doesn't sound like the same is true of your parents)

It's an entertainment medium that your parents haven't tried, and thus don't appreciate. Because it has the stigma of being 'for children', they have no desire to try it. Additionally, because of said stigma, they're a little embarrassed by how much their teenage son enjoys it. Sound about right?
Then I'm afraid you'll have to accept that they will never come round to your point of view on this one. Challenging them on it will only serve to alienate them further, and possibly cause a backlash against your freedoms on the matter. Don't do it.

Curiosity though - are they aware of the existence of Family Guy? Or (to a lesser degree) the Simpsons? Both are good examples of not all animated media being designed for children. If that's not their issue, then possibly they're reacting directly to the social stigma attached to traditionally nerdy activities. In which case you still can't win this argument.

To the escapist as a whole - promise me this: When the next semi-controversial entertainment form appears for your children, please at least try it before condemning it. Don't become some kind of super-hypocrite.

 

[loremazd]

I'm sure you think the stuff they like is wierd. Don't sweat it and don't try to make them like it.

 

[Legendsmith]

Otaku is an extremely negative term in japan, it's even considered an insult. For some reason a lot of people miss this.

Anyone who calls themselves an "otaku" is pretty much a weaboo, someone who obsesses over anime/manga and Japanese culture but is very ignorant about it.

 

[Ninonybox_v1legacy]

so you want them to accept you and anime...well if you show them this anime im sure they will not compare cartoons to anime. (if you are a big fan of anime and the such im sure you already saw it).

 

[War Pony]

Your problem sounds something like my own parents' point of view. They think ALL cartoons are for small kids. There was a time when they saw me watching the likes of South Park and Drawn Together and had the hell offended out of them when they heard swearing.

But hey! At least they aren't questioning your sexual orientation when you play video games.

It took about 3 months for my brother stop attacking me for Tivoing an episode of Drawn Together. The ridiculous part was, that I didn't even like the show. It had just come out, I was curious, but I thought it was too over the top. But he decided it was my favorite show EVAR and I was somehow turned on by Princess Octopussy.

Amusingly enough, I still catch crap from my own brother about him thinking it's my favorite show HOLY SHIT EVER because he saw me watching that exact same episode you Tivoed.

 

[Tetranitrophenol]

I been a game addict/otaku since 3rd grade, Im 25 right now and still my parents mock me every now and again when they watch me playing video games.

I hardly believe that you will make your parents accept videogames and Anime but you can certainly help them accept you for liking them;

1)Just be careful not being too "on your face" about it or rebel against them, remember, they are still your parents. Let them know that this is your choice and that even though this might be a strange choice (from their point of view) it will not affect your development as a member of society. Usually videogame addicts/otakus are pictured in their late 30's living in their parent's basement playing videogames all day eating Doritos and hot pockets and this is somethings parents F.E.A.R!!.

2) Never neglect school, and your social life for the sake of videogames, keep your grades up have some friends and invite them over to play videogames or watch anime (behave normal).Let them see that you are in control; whenever they try and attack you for what you like, counter them with something like "dad, this is what I like, please, cant you see that?" "my grades are ok, I have friends, what more do you want?" (stuff like that worked for me a lot)

3) in the end your parents just want what's best for you, remember that videogames and Anime are alien to them and they are not receiving positive propaganda lately. Its up to you to show your parents that even though this is a strange choice (for them) it is just a hobbie like any other ( just as being a fan of sports, cars or any other thing normal humans like).

 

[Master Taffer]

Honestly, you can't make them accept it. My parents never liked how much I love video games, so I just said fuck it. At the time I was 15, so I just started paying for my own video games and just did what I want. I wasn't causing trouble, so they had little to ***** about.

Now I'm 24 and self sustained, so I DEFINATELY couldn't give a shit what they think about video games.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

I would simply not give a shit. Their problem, not yours.
Then again, I never had this problem. My parent's (my mom, at least) are glad that I'm a gamer/ anime fan and not an asshole/party animal.
My dad things it's dumb, but I don't give a shit.

 

[Double A]

Wait, why don't you like the word "nerd?" It's just a word. Like otaku. You are both, yet you only want to be called one.

Seems like you need to accept it first, maybe, or else your parents won't.

 

[teebeeohh]

parents can be horrible, thank god my parents were always rather liberal when it came to my consumption of media. I think when i was about 12 they just accepted that they raised two nerds (my sister is huge nerd for ancient history and teaches latin, i can NEVER be that big a nerd)

just try to ignore them and always remember that you have the moral and intellectual high ground while they seem to be rather ignorant

 

[RooftopAssassin]

For sure! Let us know how it went. I'm interested to see Huxley's law in effect! If it fails then it's sign of good things to come. If it succeeds...

To RTA: Could you explain Huxley's law for the uninitiated (aka me) since apparently, good things are to come.

ThatOtakuGuy

Huxley's law is a real theory made by a historian that observed that people were reluctant to change. Basically Huxley's law says that people will be reluctant to change unless change is absolutely necessary. If your parents continued to oppose their thoughts, Huxley's law would then still be in effect... until they change their mind of course.

 

[LadyRhian]

It didn't really sound like you were being persecuted. If your dad was laughing at you because (in his mind) anything animation is kids stuff, then I think yeah you might need to enlighten them a bit by showing them some mature animation (and not just porn, something that is very cerebral). But it sounds like he saw something animated, thought of the Liberty Kids (which I actually think I have seen before, oddly enough), and laughed at the memory of the Liberty Kids. In which case you seem to be a little over-defensive here.

But if you are getting persecuted a bit for you interests I think you should find some way of showing them that its good entertainment and that it isn't worthless. Try to relate what you're interested in with what they're interested in. It might make them realize that they are just different genres.

Sounds like a good idea. Its not the comments that really bother me so much, its their bits of shame. "Don't only talk about the anime (And its always "The anime" or "the comics" or "the gaming" or "the manga"), Don't just talk about games, Put your posters up where you can't see them right away. I know that it shouldn't bother me, but after a while, it gets to you. If someone was, hypothetically, constantly made fun of for liking, say, Middle-Eastern music, you could brush it off, sure, but after, say, 3 or 4 years, it starts getting grating.

Believe me, I know exactly how that grates. I have been an avid D&D player since I first started playing back when I was in fifth grade. When I got older, my mother would give me the "Aren't you a little old for that?" phrase whenever she saw me playing/buying/enjoying my D&D (and later AD&D and on) stuff. When we moved to Florida, I gave most of it away. And when we got to Florida? I bought it all back, because I still enjoyed playing. She finally dropped it when I got in her face and told her, no, I wasn't "too old" old for it, that I enjoyed it and would continue to enjoy it for the rest of my life. I would never be too old to enjoy D&D. At that point, she finally dropped it.

And I still play D&D, and I still enjoy it, and I'm 43.

 

[Erana]

Be more than the media you consume.

This goes for everybody.

No form of media should be your definition. If you, say, made games, it would be different. But as it is, video games and anime are just forms of leisure. Can you enjoy them? Yes, I hope you get as much pleasure out of them as possible. But if you're really concerned about their comments on anime as an encroachment upon your being, then you need to reconsider how you spend your time. Make something, be someone. Have an identity to hold onto no matter where you are or whatever turns your life takes.

 

[Rakun Man]

About 20 minutes ago, I was watching Gankutsuou: The Count of Monte Cristo. For those not in the know, Gankutsuou is the sci-fi adaptation of a 17th century French story of romance, revenge, phillosophy, justice, repentance, etc etc etc.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold the phone. There is a sci-fi adaption of The Count of Monte Cristo, and I don't know about it? I loved that book!! (movie was good too). Please enlighten me. But I warn you, if it does not do Alexandre Dumas justice, I will wait fourteen years, and tear apart your life from the inside out.

Now back to your problem. As long as your parents remain neutral-like on the subject, it's a win. They may not like, they may not EVER like it, but as long as they understand that you like it, and it isn't bad, (just different) you'll be fine.

Oh, and this is all easier if you're a good kid: stay in school, get good grades, don't do drugs, brush your teeth, eat your veggies, and what not...

Afterthoughts: BE A MAN, AND SUCK IT UP.

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

Believe me, it could be far worse. Just ignore 'em and they'll come around eventually or leave you be.

 

[LadyRhian]

"Otaku?"

How about you save yourself time and tattoo "I am a weaboo; please shun me" on your forehead?

I, like many of the lovely visitors of this site, am an avid fan of gaming/anime/zombies/sci-fi/everything else that is commonly associated with what people perceive as being "nerdy" (No one likes the N-Word).

About 20 minutes ago, I was watching Gankutsuou: The Count of Monte Cristo. For those not in the know, Gankutsuou is the sci-fi adaptation of a 17th century French story of romance, revenge, phillosophy, justice, repentance, etc etc etc.

While in the middle of watching an action scene, my dad came up to the TV. I could see that he was struggling not to laugh, so I called him out on it. Denying it at first, he broke down and admitted that the show reminded him of a cartoon I had watched as a child called Liberty's Kids, about two teenagers witnessing the events of the American Revolution.

You may ask, "What do these two things have anything to do with each other?" The answer for my dad was, "They're both animated". I've bought several anime dvds, many maaaaannnnyyyy manga, and have a bleach and death note poster up in my room (Put up on the wall over my door so that no one will see it unless they are looking for it, my parent's condition for puting it up).

My question to the Escapisters (Escapees, Escapiters, etc ad infinitum) is this: How can I get my parents to accept the fact that I'm a "nerd" (here used to describe their point of view, as I hate that word with every fiber of my being) and stop making fun of my chosen mediums of entertainment (games, anime, etc)?

Oh also i forget to mention. Are you aware that otaku is actually an insult in japan? lol. Like no joke Nobody in japan would want to be called an otaku. I met a guy who came to my city from japan great guy name was Andy. When i brought up do you like anime are you an otaku? Jokingly cause by that time we are great friends. He said no he isint and that in japan the word otaku is actually used as an insult. They dont want to be called that. Being an otaku is actually worse then being a trekkie here apparently.

the term "otaku" is actually an insult in japanese and means "freak" not "anime freak".

::Sigh.:: Are people still on about that Otaku murderer guy? The word "Otaku" is still being used in Japan. Their former Prime Minister, Taro Aso, calls himself an Otaku. And there are many kinds of Otaku in Japan. Railfans, Military Geeks, the ones who collect dolls and figures..

What gave the word a bad rep was a serial killer called the Otaku murderer- back in 1989, this guy went around committing bizarre murders, and killed four little girls between the ages of four and seven. He became known as the Otaku murderer because a picture of his porn collection included Anime (which may have been added by a photographer seeking to sensationalize his collection). There was a backlash against people who were anime Otaku for a while, and some of the bad feeling occasionally persists, but it's not an insult in Japan the way it was, and there are lots of Otaku who don't see such a label as negative. On the other hand, there is a word that is much worse than "Otaku" in Japan. It's Hikikomori and means "those who withdraw", basically the type of people who stay at home and withdraw from the world. It's worse to be called a Hikikomori than an Otaku in Japan, and the Hikikomori also have a connection to crime.

In Japan, Otaku have been categorized as "A little strange, but good for the economy" since they spend lots of money on their obsessions.

TL;DR- Otaku isn't seen as being such an insult in Japanese society any more.

 

[Requx]

If you were really a Japanophile you would not like the label Otaku. It has a very negative connotation and I know that without even being one.

What he said.