Help me...oh god, please...help me....(find something to read)

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Bat Vader

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Mar 11, 2009
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A book I just got done reading was American Gods by Neil Gaiman and I thought it was pretty damn good. I checked Google and it seems there are a couple of audio books for it. I would really recommend reading it.
 

Lilani

Sometimes known as CaitieLou
May 27, 2009
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BloatedGuppy said:
Plucky female protagonists?! At last! I've got just the books for you! I recommend the Study series by Maria V. Snyder (Poison Study, Magic Study, Fire study) and the Truth series by Dawn Cook (First Truth, Hidden Truth, Lost Truth, Forbidden Truth). Both are on audible, and I have listened to some of the Truth series ones and it was alright. Sometimes it sounded like the reader was trying too hard with the accents, but I don't listen to many books so I'm not exactly sure how to rate it, lol. Enjoy~
 

Cpu46

Gloria ex machina
Sep 21, 2009
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Well if I could find an audiobook version of Into the Darkness by Harry Turtledove I would recommend that. However 5 minutes of searching ended with me empty handed. Even so, it is a really good series with quite diverse and realistic characters. It is a fantasy war story stretching over six doorstoppers (big freaking books) focusing on every single facet of the war. Almost every force (quite a few mind you) in the war gets a point of view character ranging from civilians, to soldiers, to leaders, to rebels. Only one thing may be a turn off, it is an adult series and almost every woman introduced gets boned at one point or another. Its all rather tastefully done and none of the women are depicted as 'weak' characters. Overall it is probably one of the best fantasy series I have read so far. Definitely worth a look and rather cheap compared to the more popular series out there.
 

Bara_no_Hime

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Sep 15, 2010
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BloatedGuppy said:
1. Has to be available on Audible. I've got some issues with my eyes, and while I can get along alright reading big fat books just beats them up more than I'd prefer.
2. I do like fantasy and sci-fi. ++++ if it's fantasy or sci-fi, but it's not necessary. Anything good, I'd like to hear about.
3. It doesn't have to be AMAZING LITERATURE, but if it's not, it should be BREEZY AND FUN.
4. I like plucky female protagonists. ++++ for plucky female protagonists, or at least a good ensemble.
5. Longer series are better, I listen to this stuff on my commute and sometimes at work to while away the hours. A short book and I'm right back here in two weeks.
Okay, I've got you covered.

Kushiel's Dart (and the rest of the Kushiel series) by Jacqueline Carey.
It is Historical Fantasy - that is, it takes place on Earth in the 1400s, in France, but there is supernatural stuff and magic and so forth. Not much magic in book 1 until you get to the part with the Wizard who can control water.
The protagonist is both plucky and female. She's also a courtesan.
There are 9 books in the series, each clocking in at around 800 pages. Enjoy.

The Sharing Knife series by Lois McMaster Bujold.
A neat, 4 book series (so kinda short) that reads like fantasy with a sort of Western vibe - there are psionic Native Americans and covered wagons and things. At least until you realize that the setting actually IS America, 1000 years after some sort of vague apocalypse. At one point they take a river boat down a river that is clearly supposed to be the Mississippi, but is never called that. So it's actually sort of a sci-fi series that has come around the other side to fantasy.
Two protagonists, a plucky female and an older guy who's missing one of his hands.
The author has won more literary awards than Orson Scott Card OR Ursula K. Leguin. Seriously, Bujold is the best sci-fi/fantasy author in the world if you like your sci-fi/fantasy on the literary side of the fence.

The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher. Starting with Storm Front.
Modern day Chicago. Noir style detective mysteries... where the detective is a Wizard. Not an alternative world - this one. The cops have him listed as a 'psychic consultant' even though he states quite firmly that he uses magic, not mental powers. He carries a staff, a wand (for shooting fire out of), and a .45. His leather trench coat is enchanted to stop bullets.
Sorry, no plucky female protagonist for this one. However, Karin Murphy of the Chicago PD might be described as plucky. She'd likely punch you in the face for calling her that, however, so I'd advice against it.
Oh, and 13 books published of a planned 23 book series. Plus a short story collection.

There's my list to you. Go. Enjoy.

Edit:
Fayathon said:
DoPo said:
The Dresden Files - the protagonist, Harry Dresden, is the only wizard in the phone book. Well, he is a wizard-slash-private-investigator but mostly does wizardly stuff in modern day Chicago. The series are modern urban fantasy and really entertaining. Like action movies made in books, but good.
Aaand ninja'd, damnit.

I'll plug the Dresden Files as well, they're great.
See, there's three votes for Dresden already. But do seriously go check out the other two as well. If you want strong female protagonists, you won't go wrong with Bujold or Carey. Particularly Carey (Bujold actually favors male protagonists in most of her other books. If you hadn't asked for female, I would have mentioned the Vorkosigan Saga which is over a dozen books long.).
 

Chiefmon

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Dec 26, 2008
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John Dies at the End by David Wong- It's like Stephan King on acid with Yhatzee-esque humor throughout.

World War Z- EPIC.
 

jvsulliv

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Apr 26, 2010
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I really can't recomend Hunger Games Enough. Its available on Audible. Its Distopian Science Fiction, It is some of the best books I've read in a while, however the fact that its a trilogy leads to a certain predictability of events. Has a female protagonist. and while not as long as some series still longer then a single book

http://www.audible.com/pd/ref=sr_1_1?asin=B002V8MA2A&qid=1330148841&sr=1-1 said:
Could you survive on your own, in the wild, with everyone out to make sure you don't live to see the morning?
In the ruins of a place once known as North America lies the nation of Panem, a shining Capitol surrounded by 12 outlying districts. The Capitol is harsh and cruel and keeps the districts in line by forcing them all to send one boy and one girl between the ages of 12 and 18 to participate in the annual Hunger Games, a fight to the death on live TV.

16-year-old Katniss Everdeen, who lives alone with her mother and younger sister, regards it as a death sentence when she steps forward to take her sister's place in the Games. But Katniss has been close to dead before -and survival, for her, is second nature. Without really meaning to, she becomes a contender. But if she is to win, she will have to start making choices that weigh survival against humanity and life against love.
 

WolfThomas

Man must have a code.
Dec 21, 2007
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BloatedGuppy said:
Longer series are better, I listen to this stuff on my commute and sometimes at work to while away the hours. A short book and I'm right back here in two weeks.
The Wheel of Time, there's 13 books at the moment usually between 600-800 pages. The finale one comes out this year I think or the start of next. It's an interesting series as characters really grow and mature and there's lots of interwoven plots and prophecies that may come back much, much later. Like something foretelled referenced in book one might happen in book 13. The only problem is the first book is a little too generic in it's fantasty setting but it quickly distinguishes later. It's magic system has a lot of rules and order to how it works, it's more like a superpower or the force than wizardy magic.

And it's filled with crowning moments of awesome, that make you want to punch the air in delight.

Also it does have a bunch of plucky female characters, but it does take a little time before they find their voices, but when they do it's pretty good. In fact the setting is a world where the gender balance is either equal or skewed to put women in power (due to some magic stuff, it's a long story).
 

Torrasque

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Aug 6, 2010
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WolfThomas said:
BloatedGuppy said:
Longer series are better, I listen to this stuff on my commute and sometimes at work to while away the hours. A short book and I'm right back here in two weeks.
The Wheel of Time, there's 13 books at the moment usually between 600-800 pages. The finale one comes out this year I think or the start of next. It's an interesting series as characters really grow and mature and there's lots of interwoven plots and prophecies that may come back much, much later. Like something foretelled referenced in book one might happen in book 13. The only problem is the first book is a little too generic in it's fantasty setting but it quickly distinguishes later. It's magic system has a lot of rules and order to how it works, it's more like a superpower or the force than wizardy magic.

And it's filled with crowning moments of awesome, that make you want to punch the air in delight.
Oh man, I fucking love The Wheel of Time series. I could go on and on about the things that make that series awesome, but it has been about 2 years since I last read one of the books, so my knowledge of finer details is quite weathered :<

OP: I recommend the Night Angel series by Brent Weeks. I have absolutely no idea if it is in audible format (sorry) but it is one of the only series that has been next to impossible to put down when reading. It is like Oblivion or Skyrim, but in reading format. You know when you start doing a quest and get side tracked by a dungeon or go "just one more dunegon" then 7 hours go by? That is what the Night Angel series is like. This series is way too fucking good.
 

Merlynstorm

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Nov 4, 2010
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The Dune Sagas by Frank Herbert, The Wheel of Time Cycle by Robert Jordan, Brave New World by Aldous Huxley, the older works of Robert Heinlein, in particular Have Space Suit Will Travel or Tunnel in the Sky. Song of Fire and Ice by George RR Martin. Those are some good ones that spring to mind right away. I read waaaay too much. And mostly Sci-Fi/Fantasy.
 

Merlynstorm

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Nov 4, 2010
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Also, if your looking for plucky female protagonists, while Tamora Pierce's Tortall series are mostly writes Y.A. books, they're still amazing pieces of work.
 

bowandsword

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Mar 30, 2011
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ok ive made a note to try get round to reading most of theses books let me add to the list

Eragon series inheritance just dont read the last one never read the last one trust me

the hungering nice book series only just though the first one pretty cool not sure where it goes after that but great so far

the tale of three worlds if your looking for long theses are great each book could be made into at lest 3 books each and there are currently 3 series the first 2 have 4 and the last has 3 i think and a new series is being written. pick this one if any

Gone Hunger lies and Plague fayz series is very good look that one up

Artemis foul great book series

the requiem series people who turn dragons 3 of the 5 major characters are female and most of the time plucky.

old kingdom series are great

now that i think of it i cant even recall the names of some of the book series i have read
also yes the keys to the kingdom are audio books BTW just saying also add that to my list

i better stop now as i could just keep adding to this list for a good hour
 

Guffe

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Jul 12, 2009
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BloatedGuppy said:
1. Has to be available on Audible.
I don't know if it is available on audio but you should check if it is.
The Count of Monte Christo, best freaking series ever, 6 books all between 295 and 304 pages.
Someone up there also mentioned Hitchikers guide to the Galaxy which I really enjoyed.

The Bible? <.<
*raises flame shield*
(No I have not read it)

For sci-fi novels the Warhammer universe is really interesting, most novels are around 400 pages and there are A LOT of them, they share the universe and there are a few which are linked but most are stories about a single group or person on a mission.
They should be audio available...
 

Liham

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Apr 17, 2009
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Listen very carefully these are the books needed:

sunshine by robin somebody, female lead, fantastic vampire book. really, the bastards are terrifying

Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchet one of my all time favorite books.

stardust and american gods both also by Neil Gaiman and great books.

You have been tasked, now go! Read these books now, if not sooner.
 

brunothepig

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May 18, 2009
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I would suggest Tamora Pierce, above all else. It's pretty much exactly what you're looking for.
BloatedGuppy said:
1. Has to be available on Audible. I've got some issues with my eyes, and while I can get along alright reading big fat books just beats them up more than I'd prefer.
Looks like they're all there on <a href=http://www.theaudiobookstore.com/search.aspx?Category=0&SearchManufacturer=0&Keyword=tamora%20pierce&SearchOption=0>this site.
2. I do like fantasy and sci-fi. ++++ if it's fantasy or sci-fi, but it's not necessary. Anything good, I'd like to hear about.
Fantasy.
3. It doesn't have to be AMAZING LITERATURE, but if it's not, it should be BREEZY AND FUN.
A lot of fun, and she's a pretty damn good author, especially with her more recent novels.
4. I like plucky female protagonists. ++++ for plucky female protagonists, or at least a good ensemble.
All the female protagonists, all the time. All the plucky too.
5. Longer series are better, I listen to this stuff on my commute and sometimes at work to while away the hours. A short book and I'm right back here in two weeks.
She writes respectable sized series, almost all quartets (I think she's written two stand alone novels, but they tied into other quartets). What's more, all her novels are interconnected (although Circle of Magic and The Circle Opens were separate to the rest, I think), so they all feel like part of a bigger series.
So yeah, definitely check out Pierce if you haven't already. I recommend reading them in order of release, as I said, they all tie in so characters return and stuff.

You should also read Terry Brooks (epic high fantasy, if you're a fantasy fan, definitely check him out), Eoin Colfer (Sci-Fi/Fantasy, wrote Artemis Fowl, well worth checking out), Matthew Reilly (action packed novels. Like, full to exploding action packed. Highly recommended), Dean Koontz for one-offs (only thriller author I read), Derek Landy's series Skulduggery Pleasant (right up there as one of my favourite series, genuinely hilarious books, plucky female protagonist, awesome characters. Check it out), Jonathon Stroud's Bartimaues series (same vein as Landy, hilarious books but wrapped in a good story with likeable, awesome characters).

That'll do I think.
 

hex000

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Jul 3, 2010
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C F said:
((Warning: TvTropes link ahead. The site has been known to be hazardous to your free time.))

I recommend the Discworld [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Literature/Discworld] series. The stories take themselves quite seriously while also managing to be marinated in satire. I'm not sure how they'd turn out in Audiobook format, but it's worth a shot. The author, Terry Pratchett, was knighted by the British government for his "services to literature." If that doesn't vouch for his writing prowess, I don't know what will.
"services to literature"?should be services to awesome the man is a God also, in my opinion he writes very strong female characters although as always that is just my opinion . My advice to you start with either soul music or going Postal as the characters Susan Sto Helit and Adora Belle Dearheart respectively should fit the bill for what you want.

ps C F the audio books are amazing
 

Loethlin

Itchy Witch
Apr 24, 2011
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Ooh, lots of good recommendations here!

Anyway, I know a series that matches all the requirements: The Hollows, by Kim Harrison.
Audible: check!
Urban Fantasy: check! With a dash of alternate history. Like... a genetically modified tomato wiped out half the humans in the world. But not the supernaturals. You get witches, vampires, weres, pixies, all that.
Breezy and fun: check! It's not Hemmingway, for sure, but it reads pretty well. Humour's nice, too. Premise: Witch main character, her vampire friend and their pixie friend start PI services. Sounds pretty standard, but turns out it's pretty awesome.
Plucky female protagonist: CHECK LIKE HELL! Comes with a good ensemble, as well.
Long series: 10 books to date.
 

RoBi3.0

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Mar 29, 2009
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Rant by Chuck Palanuik. Its got scifi undertones and is a fantastic book about human interaction and social satire.

In fact any Chuck book is a great read he is an amazing author.
 

hinataxemnas

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Jul 14, 2010
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I suggest The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson (I'm pretty sure thats his name anyway). Generally decent plot that focuses mainly on the main character Kaladin, but there is a side plot involving a woman named Shallon. I give it 4.5/5